That is HILARIOUS! It defies reason and oral anatomy that cheese could be eaten that fast. I mean, don’t you have to chew it a little?
Okay… but I want the recipe for this treat and nothing is irrelevant. What brand of breakfast sausage?
Do you have a dog? Mo the lab mix chews pretty much nothing.
She never used to steal food (beg it, sure). But in the last six months, she has figured that the good smells from the range top mean there is chicken there - she stole 2 legs and 2 breasts off a plate there (and didn’t move the plate).
Good smells from the kitchen table mean there is a ham there - once again, stolen without disturbing anything else.
I failed to mention that if I pick up the leash without a cigar in my hand the dog knows its one of two things, both of which she hates – the vet or the groomer. Instead of waiting for me at the door, she will try to hide out somewhere.
I’ll make it quick - 1 lb. Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage or Johnsonville - it comes in a tube - just the regular kind. If you like stuff spicier, use the hot version. 3/4 lb. ground beef (80-20 - we don’t do lowfat :D) brown both, drain the grease. Add in some chopped onions (maybe a medium one chopped small) and cook the onions until they’re soft. Splash in worcestershire sauce - maybe a tablespoon - and some salt and pepper, then add in a lb. of cut up Velveeta and let it melt in. When it’s all gooey, you put it on cocktail rye slices and put it in the oven for a little while - on broil if you want the bread soft (and it’ll be ready in a flash) or at 350 for a few minutes if you want the bread crispier. To be honest, I use more l8ike a pound and 1/2 of Velveeta if you know who hasn’t eaten it already cause we like the cheesy goodness. This keeps REALLY well in the fridge - we usually have a bowl on hand once football season starts.
Oh - and no, I do not think this dog chews. He more inhales than anything else. 
Shoot - I forgot something - you need a clove or two of minced garlic cooked in with the onions. Sorry. 
Yes. Two.
They really sound fabulous. You said you have a *bowl *of them for football watching… so they’re solid enough when done that the filling/topping and the bread are pretty glued together? I mean, you don’t have to keep them flat on a tray or something? This doesn’t exactly qualify as Girl Chow, but I’d love to make this for my (all female) book club.
That reminds me of a story my mother told me about her dog. This was when my mother still lived with her father (my grandfather) and before I was born.
My mother made some fudge. She set it out on the table to cool, and the dog ate the entire thing of fudge. My mother says he didn’t even get sick from it.
They’re called Hanky Pankies, FWIW. And they are amazing and Missy2U is a good wife! 
I am so happy to know that I am not the only person with a dog who is “off the hook” for walking!
If you ever want to see an old, fat beagle and a fat, middle aged woman break into a run, have a rabbit come into view on a walk. It ain’t pretty. 
I used to look after a pair of Alsatians on the weekends. Very big dogs in my small house. The walkies bounces were a bit irritating to say the least and invariably resulted in the dogs getting in the way and knocking things over. So I took to putting on a sad voice and saying “No, I’m not taking you guys. You’re stay-ing.” This only fooled them a bit but it muted the celebrations all the same. Pretty soon they had learned the routine that a fake sad voice and denials still meant a walk was in prospect but with less barking/whining and horsing around. Result!
One time I’d decided to take them to the woods, a bus ride away. Before that though I took them up to the green to do their thing, as the time before they’d obviously had trouble keeping it in on the bus. Well, going to the bus stop meant turning the opposite way to their usual walk and they clearly thought we were just going to the post office and back home – a trip they hated. So, suddenly, I was dragging the slowest dogs in the world behind me. I caught on and told them “We’re going to the woods on a bus!” Not sure if it was the words or the tone but cue very happy dogs dragging me to the stop.
The k-dawg (Kola-Bear) loves his daily walk. A nonstop walk around the block is about 15 minutes in human time, about 40 minutes with him.
He’s chewed through nylon leashes, so I finally got a chain. The only problem is that I now have a biker wallet, so if O put my wallet in my pocket. he hears the chain and comes running.
If Buddy the beagle doesn’t get his walk in, he’ll take himself on one. He will not be denied his sniffs. It doesn’t matter that he’s 12 now and is sore afterward. He loves his walks, especially when hubby takes him to the woods and he can chase rabbits. He ain’t never caught a rabbit, but he’s still a friend of mine.
Oh, and next time you make Hanky Panks, try Mild Mexican velveeta instead of regular. You’ll never use regular again.
(I use 1 # Bob Evans hot sausage, 1 # ground beef, and 1# Mild Mexican velveeta.)
One rainy evening, Lilith and I suddenly happened upon two rabbits in someone’s yard. She lunged, pulled me to the ground and we both commenced to rasslin’. At some point in the melee, I looked up and realized the damn rabbits hadn’t left! They were just going to hang around and see who won.
The rabbits were passing around a bowl of Hanky Panks and laying down bets, just like on football day.
Coda, our 20-ish pound 9 year old lhasa apso mix loves his walks, even if his stamina isn’t what it used to be.
He gets excited in stages - first when I put my shoes on, then when I get my iPhone & headphones, and finally when I get the poop bags and leash out, he knows it’s WALKIE TIME! Throughout the whole process, he’s “talking” to me - growl-howl moans, that devolve into barks if I dawdle.
He then prances happily down the sidewalk, with many a sniff & stop at the mailboxes and signposts - this is HIS territory and he needs to let all the other dogs know it!
He’s also one of those dogs that turns in place a few times before taking a dump - and of course he isn’t always sure that he’s picked The Right Place - so there’s a bit of pacing back & forth, an exploratory twirl or two, then some more pacing, before he gets down to business. Three spins seems to be the usual; my husband claims he needs the centrifugal force to push out the turds. 
I think she means they keep a bowl of the meat and cheese mixture in the fridge, then spread it on the cocktail rye as needed and pop it in the oven.
Yup. And PunditLisa I am SO going to do that next time I make them. Thanks for the tip!
What I love about (most) dogs is that you can wake them up at any time in the middle of the night and go, “Let’s go for a walk!” and they immediately bound out of bed from being dead asleep and bounce over to the door. I used to do this in grad school, when I had insomnia frequently and was a part-time dogsitter (mostly of labs, but there was also an Aussie and some other breeds).
Now I have a cat. While she enjoys being outside on a leash when it’s nice out, I’m pretty sure that if I ever dangled the leash in front of her in the middle of the night, she would wake up just long enough to give me The Glare and then go back to sleep.
<Thelma smacks self upside the head>
Your cat would wake up just long enough to dial her lawyer, THEN go back to sleep.
I once read that there is one word that applies to all dogs at any time, and that word is “ready”.