Dogs & death (anti-trigger warning: NO dead or injurred dogs!)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

TL; DR: talk to me about dogs and estate planning and resolution. (Just skip what I wrote below and tell me dog stories if you want. Really.)

So I got a dog. It was my mother’s dog, but she can’t take care of her anymore. She is a seven year old mix, with possibly some greyhound or other running type dog.

What do I do with a dog? I haven’t had one since I was 12. I like dogs well enough; I’m just not sure why people get so incredibly attached to them. This one goes on walks, and that’s about it.

What are some more entertaining things to do with dogs other than just walk around the neighborhood? This one doesn’t fetch, and fetch and frisbee where the main things I did with my dog as a kid. She also is unpredictable around other dogs, so I haven’t attempted a dog park yet. Taking dogs to all places is a thing now, but again, being unpredictable around other dogs means I haven’t wanted to risk it.

She is fine with thunder, fireworks, and other loud noises, but is frightened of sprinklers.

The dog loves to run. Can I “walk” her from my ebike so we can get some real speed?

[Album] imgur.com

Imgur

Now, to bury the lede (under some dog pictures at that), the dog was mostly taken care of by my mom’s partner, but he died very recently. I have some things to say in the euthanasia thread, but haven’t felt up to reading it yet. He had cancer that had gone everywhere, so his death was expected, but still sad (obviously).

My mother and I have been left with durable power of attorney and as executors of his will. He knew this was coming, so he planned some things to make it easier for us.

Now is time to talk ill of the dead. Commendable behavior having all of your passwords in a password manager, but the password you left me for the manager is wrong! Fortunately I found the right password saved in the browser, and between the browser passwords, the manager passwords, and simply having email and text access I think I’m able to get into everything.

Why did you have (at least) two different active Apple/iCloud accounts? Is there some logic? Why so many other paid cloud storage accounts? They seem to mostly be copies of each other, but I guess I need to check…

He was a very talented photographer, so there are possibly terabytes of nature pictures. Do I save them? What do I do with them? Park them on an external drive or two until I need a picture of coyote pups?

And the debt. Fortunately, despite being together for nearly 25 years, he and my mother never mixed any finances. No joint accounts, no joint property, and no joint debt. So far I’ve found $15-20k in unsecured debt, and only about $1600 in assets. Oh well, sucks to be the creditors.

I think what I’m supposed to do, under Colorado law, is send notices to all of his creditors saying “so sorry, so sad,” and then they send the estate a letter saying how much is owed. Then as executor I get to decide how to distribute the assets.

I don’t have a death certificate yet, so at the moment I haven’t done anything. Right now I’m still allowing the minimum payments to be deducted from his bank account, because that seems easier than trying to deal with penalties and such, that won’t get paid anyway.

Anyone been through this before? How did it go? I know my mother and I are not liable for any of his debts, but any preemptive tips in staying out of the sights of debt collectors?

Should I subscribe to one of those anonymous dialing services? Should I create a new email address to use so they don’t get my real one? I’m sure they’ll get my real name, which will easily point to my real contact information.

Thank you for reading this far. If you just skipped to the end, the dog pictures are in the middle.

2

Without knowing much about your little guy, some dogs are just happy hanging out with people. My dog liked to go for walks but was equally happy sitting in my lap or going for a ride in the car. We did take him to dog parks when he was younger, but he never really liked other dogs and preferred hanging out with people while at the park. My dog did love Yorkies for some reason. It was odd.

Try taking her someplace with other dogs just to see how things go. She might have a good time running around with the others from time-to-time.

3

Yeah, I need to plan this sometime. The dog park I used to take my in-laws dog is a soccer field now, but I think there are more nearby.

When she was younger she loved to run in a pack with the other dogs, and be out front. She’d look behind at the other dogs, and if any got close, she’d run even faster. It was pretty funny.

The problem is, she can be that aggressive dog people complain about at dog parks. She’ll whine and cry because she sees other dogs and wants to play with them, but then growl and snarl at them if they come close.

Though last dog we met nose to nose out walking, she was perfectly fine, wagging (what’s left of) her tail the whole time.

4

First of all, you’re a good soul to take on those thankless tasks to help your mom and her partner. Many kudos to you.

As dogs go, you may have lucked out. She’s sweet faced, has gentle soulful eyes and mostly wants to hang around and get her belly rubbed.

Lots of people on the Dope wish their dog was like that. Thanks for the pictures-they made me smile and I’m a cat person!

While there is still money in the assets I’d get that dog a thorough vet check up and as many preventative vaccines as you can. Maybe use whatever is left to buy a big supply of high quality food to be delivered from Chewy. Switch her license at animal control over to you and get her chipped if she isn’t already.

Then just enjoy that sweet face and rubbing that belly.

5

Her age may be middle aged for a dog(all that is relative)
She may not want to play.

Get a book on training. Make sure she knows all the lessons. It’s according to how stubborn she is how fast she’ll learn. Most usually learn something. Even old dogs can learn.

Most of the sight hound type dogs are usually sleepy heads in the house. Lounging and sleeping all the time. That’s a good thing.
If they don’t get plenty of walking and running they can get the zoomies. Usually it’s destructive, knocking over things, and kids, a cat can be fun to watch when doggy gets zoomies. They’ll up-end tables and granny in her walker. So yes, if she’ll do the run beside your bike try it. DO NOT tie the leash to you or the bike. Always in your hand so you can let go if something goes ca-ca.

Talk to her. Just like she was human. She might not get anything but the sound of your voice, it will please her.

Find a TV show she likes. I swear they have their favorites. Just hope it’s not something you hate.

Make a huge deal out of treats she likes.

Have fun.

ETA…can’t help you with the estate stuff.

6

I’d suggest involvement in a dog training club. All of our dogs have been through basic obedience and advanced obedience. That’s a given. Dogs enjoy training and really enjoy getting treats.

Two of our dogs currently go to agility classes each week, both of them enjoy the class and Kizzy in particular now competes in trials. My gf is Kizzy’s handler for agility. They both get an intense workout mentally as well as physically.

Consider nose-work. Dogs enjoy sniffing and searching. Our dog Simi is really kicking butt in his class. We can pile up cardboard boxes, only one of which contains a few molecules of the target scent (currently balsam). Simi will push the boxes around and eventually signal the box with the scent! He can search a room or building for the target scent.

There are also trick classes. The instructor teaches a new trick each week. Oh, and there are some game classes where handlers and their dogs compete against one another.

7

Yes! I talk to our dogs all the time and it’s rewarding for me to see them understand. We sometimes like sitting by our pond in the evening. We drink wine and eat cheese. The dogs chase (but never catch) frogs, swim a bit, romp & frolic. It hasn’t taken long for them to understand the word “pond”. I ask them if they want to go to the pond and they are thrilled! They know that we have to walk there as a group yet they want me to hurry it up.

In the morning at some point I’ll ask the dogs “who wants to go to work?” Simi always is eager to go. Kizzy reads the situation, and if it appears my gf is going to Pittsburgh, Kizzy will want to go with me. If my gf is working from home, she stays home with her. Loki just rolls her eyes, seeing no reason to leave home.

8

Since the heirs aren’t going to get any money, consider using the $1600 in assets to pay an estate attorney to help. I’m not sure if $1600 would be enough for the attorney to do everything, but you could pay for some consultations to answer your questions.

Why are the assets so low? I could see maybe just having $1600 in his bank account, but did he have assets like a car, camera equipment, etc.?

You might be able to sell his wildlife pictures to a stock photo company.

Check for any unclaimed funds that might be in his name. The site for Colorado is: Search | Colorado.gov.

9

Yes, she is turning out to be pretty easy. I was warned all kinds of things about she refuses to eat, and has to be walked 8 times per day. The walking thing is because my mom xeriscaped her yard, so there is no grass for the dog to use. Here, most of those walks just involve letting her into the backyard. I’ve been doing at least one, but preferably two 1+ mile walks per day.

The eating thing is she has a sensitive stomach, but

my current hypothesis is it was too many treats that was upsetting her stomach. She doesn’t always eat her kibble right away, but I just let it sit out, and eventually she gets to it. The pate usually gets eaten immediately. Anyway, I’m a cruel pet owner and don’t give out hardly any treats, and she doesn’t seem to eat nearly as much grass or throw up as much.

Thank you for this. She came to live with me immediately after a vet appointment where she had her vaccines and got a clean bill of health. I met the vet, and then was supposed to take her for the afternoon so she could get used to our house, but then she never went back. Fuck cancer.

We’ll update the chip at some point, but as long as it has my mom’s contact information, it’s fine. I got her an AirTag, because not only am I a cruel pet owner, I’m also a creepy stalker pet owner. She hasn’t tried to get away yet, but she’s so fast the only hope of catching her if she does run is persistence hunting.

That could be fun. She’s done those classes before, so it wouldn’t be completely new to her. Perhaps something the 11 year old could be involved in.

This does sound great. She does love to sniff things. Again, getting the 11 year old involved in some smell puzzles sounds like an excellent summer project.

10

Yes, I thought of that. I’m sure I’ll have to do most of the clerical work, but that’s fine. I really want someone to tell me what to do; I can probably even figure out the how.

Yeah, just $1600 in the bank, but lots of stuff. No car or real estate, but a bunch of electronics and tools. If Citibank wants to hold a garage sale to raise money, they’re welcome to, but I hope I’m not required to.

Some of the stuff, like the payment plan phone and buy-now-pay-later purchases, I’m happy to send back, if asked, and provided a return label.

No inheritors are getting any cash, but I really want to avoid something where I become liable, like personally owing the estate’s income taxes, if I give all of the money to the creditors first.

11

If it would help you, dogs can easily be trained to eliminate onto a square of “astroturf” material.

12

Yes, there are harnesses that you can attach to your bike so you can ride and she can run/walk at the same time. Your bike shop will likely have some. One thing to keep in mind is that pavement can get very hot. Not just if it’s with the bike, but even on a walk. Go in the morning/evening when the ground is coolest. If the pavement is too hot for your hand, then it’s too hot for her paws. Another thing about pavement is that it can be abrasive to her paws if she’s running a lot. If you do the bike, build up slowly so that her paws can toughen up.

13

Not a problem for me, as we have grass, but it would have helped my mom. They planted about 10 square feet of clover, but the dog preferred the park across the street, which required a leash and human.

That’s good to know. I’ve been worried about the pavement being too hot, as my last dog was in Texas where that was a big concern. Here I’ve never seen the asphalt get so hot you could dig holes with your shoe. She mostly prefers to walk on the sidewalk or grass, but will go into the street to avoid sprinklers.

I’ve been saving the long walk for the evening when it cools down. Which brings up another thing, am I helicoptering by adding a flashing red bike light to my dog at dusk? It really helps with visibility, and when it slides down her harness she gets that cool underbody light glow popular in some car scenes (next maybe an “R” badge for her collar.)

I’ll have to try the bike thing in the school parking lot, or maybe the field behind the school, to see how she does. Someone trained her to walk, because she does not wrap the leash around every single sign post or mailbox, like my in-laws dog did. Hopefully that means she’ll take to walking next to the bike, and not darting in front of it.

From experience following my kid on their bike, I know I can go 2-3 MPH, and that the electric assist turns off if I’m going that slow for too long.

14

My sister-in-law handled all legal paperwork / financial aspects when FIL died; we did the computer stuff and sorted through all their paperwork. I assume SIL sent notices to whomever needed them, which would not have been much; they did not have a credit card, we handled the closeout of the utilities, and we had any remaining mail forwarded to us but got very little of any interest.

We DID manage to get into their email accounts - thanks to my husband getting them a notebook for passwords. Even so it wasn’t always easy, sometimes the passwords were outdated, or whatever.

One thing we did was set up a forwarding email address for each parent (we own a domain, and free forwarding for xxx addresses was included). So I’d set up “Jane @ MamaZappaDomain Dot Com” to forward to my email - and any online accounts we could access, we changed the email to go to that.

I do know that any debts should be paid out of the partner’s estate, if any; any beyond that, the creditors have to write it off. So he owes a bank 15,000 on his credit card, but he only has 2,000 in the bank, they are out of luck on the 13,000. If he owes this to multiple creditors, I’m not sure how you’re supposed to divide it up - proportionally? first come, first serve?

My guess, regarding notice of death, is that you are spot-on with sending the creditor a copy of the death certificate with a form letter explainiing. They should drop it (but don’t be surprised if you hear back again).

With my in-laws, they had just a small amount in the bank. They did not own their property, we did (which was intentional, as we were planning ahead for the possible need for Medicaid-funded assisted living, and we didn’t want the state to take OUR property). We kept up with the utilities on their home until we sold it. My husband paid one outstanding medical bill for FIL - not a huge amount; we later got another bill for a larger amount, but we did NOT pay that, because we were not legally required to.

Has Social Security been notified of his death? If so, were any payments made between death and the notification? Make sure not to spend that, if so, as they’ll want it back.

Doggie: Not an expert, but you’ll figure things out. A walk around the neighborhood can be a huge treat - especially if your mother and her partner were not able to do so (don’t forget the poop bags!!). Try a variety of toys around the house; she might like to play tug-of-war, or fetch, or just gnaw on stuff.

And, my sympathies on your (and your mother’s) loss.

We have my FIL’s computer… somewhere in a bag (just the CPU; we left the monitor and other peripherals behind). He may well have had various documents saved on it (or on his gmail account… I suppose we should check that just to see if anything has cropped up). Highly unlikely anything useful or interesting, really. I think your coyote pix would be a lot more entertaining! I don’t know what else to do with the pictures, aside from putting them on an external drive, as you suggested. If it’s something your mother would enjoy watching, maybe set them up as a slide show on her computer.

15

That’s not crazy at all. If you have no real savings, and your only income is Social Security, that’s about what you’d expect. My in-laws were in that position.

My WAG is that the camera equipment etc. are not going to be worth enough money to really matter - but depending on what he owned, I could be dead wrong on that.

16

You can run the dog with the ebike. Good for her, good for you!

17

I’d be really curious to hear your opinion on this a year from now. Not kidding. Dogs have a way of becoming really important to you. I hope that happens here.

Setting a calendar reminder to ask you again a year from now. :slight_smile:

18

Hey, we have an Air Tag to pin in the clothes of my grandchild, who has autism and is an eloper, as they call it in that business. She’s fast too but those AirTags work great! We only use them when we’re traveling but it does bring a bit of peace of mind. Your dog could train up and compete in agility trials as Team AirTag with your 11 year old.