I collect Barbies. And I would LOVE to see some of these in this thread IRL!
Made a Rasta Steven (Ken’s African-American friend) for my husband for Father’s Day a few years ago. Took the hair extensions from a Totally Hair Christie, twisted it into dreds, and put Elmer’s Glue on it to hold them in place and give it some sheen. Took a Ken t-shirt and hand-painted it in Jamaican colors, and ironed on a small pot leaf patch. Cut off a pair of Ken jeans, and made a rope belt out of twine. He’s got a cool beret, too. Took the center out of a hacky-sack that had Jamaican colors on it, glued a pot-leaf patch to the back, and glued the dreds in to it. Oh, and a small piece of paper tipped in red paint makes for a lovely spliff. Ken sunglasses and sandals complete the look. He’s outstanding! So good that my husband set him on top of the TV, and he’s been there ever since. Can’t keep a masterpiece like that hidden away!
Dunno if this qualifies, but I once chopped off Barbie’s hands, feet, and head, sanded down her breasts, then melted her in the oven…
To put it in context: I wanted to build a customized action figure/statue, and decided to use a Barbie for the base/structure. Barbie was chosen because her anorexic limbs allowed me to build them up. To get rid of “unnecessary bits,” I chopped off the head, hands, and feet, then spent over an hour sanding down the breasts. After another two days of adding sculpting putty to build up the figure, I decided to bake it to harden the stuff I had put on already. Unfortunately, Barbie’s melting point was less than the hardening point of the putty, so I had to get Barbie out of the oven immediately when the oven started spewing dark clouds and toxic fumes. Ick.
I don’t actually recall this incident, but my sister does and never fails to remind my mother of it at the most inopportune moments.
Apparently, I was getting some interesting ideas about the whole sex issue, and was setting up scenarios with my Barbies, one of which was a lesbian encounter. Completely unware that my sister witnessed me setting up this particular scene, I went about my merry way, dressing Barbie and her friend in silky negligees I’d made out of an old slip and making them kiss, sleep together, etc.
The classic part of this story is that my sister (who is 4 years older than I am) went to my mom and said “Jadis is playing “lezzie” Barbies…I think you missed your opportunity to have that sex-talk with her.” :eek:
I also fashioned a penis for Ken out of masking tape, and regularly made Barbie pregnant and went through arduous labor and delivery events. I was quite the prococious little Lolita by proxy, eh? Hehehe…
my sis had a Barbie dream house I used it to hone my pitching skills. yep, shattered the whole thing and had to build it back up again.
after I finished building it, my sis didn’t want it anymore.
so, I put all of the barbies in there, and pretended they were under attack. put the house and barbies outside and shot it and the barbies repeatedly with a pellet gun. I even painted them with war paint (finger-paint)
I shot them a lot…
I made paratrooper Ken and tied a little parachute to his pack and launched him out of a slingshot.
to no avail, the dumb-ass doll got caught up in the parachute and landed hard o nthe tar of he driveway, breaking himself.
Persephone: Hahahee! Take a photo, please! I wanna see RastaSteven. “Ken, mon, Babylon tore ya down. Ya don’ even have the pleasin’ grace Jah give to a mon. Relax, I&I’m attel ya, chant down da plastic oppressive machine!”
I’m a wonderin’: why isn’t there a Martha Stewart doll?
Let’s see, my Barbies were raped, murdered, beaten, committed suicide, had eating disorders, were prostitutes, got kidnapped and tied up…and that was just her day job!
Wow, and I thought I was a rebel for ripping their little plastic heads off! Damn, some of you people had some serious issues.
However, when I was in the 10th grade (I think that made me 15?), me and my best friend did a history fair project, on the Salem Witch Trials. We were supposed to have some kind of visual dispay, so we built one of the hanging rack things (I can’t remember what they’re called now. Dammit), attached a noose to the top, and hung one of her niece’s barbies. We got the weirdest looks from people…
My grandmother caught my cousin and I in a fantastic game of “Barbie nudist colony”. Yes, that’s what we called it, only it was more like a Barbie-Ken-He-Man orgy.
I never had any Barbies of my own because my mother refused to buy them after how I treated my other dolls. I regularly gave them mohawks, burned their feet off and decapitated them.
Wow, Pammipoo, that brought back a repressed memory!
Growing up, around age 9 or 10, I had a friend briefly whose brother was always tormenting and teasing her in odd psychological ways. One day, over at her apartment, she opened her closet to get some toys and let out an ear-piercing scream, and ran off crying and screaming like her soul had been ripped from her body.
I wondered what had upset her, so I walked over and looked in the closet.
Her brother had created a mass gallows - 5 or 6 barbies all hanging in a row from the the clothes bar, twisting slowly back and forth. Their hands were tied behind their backs with twist-ties, and one had a “hood” over her head made from a sandwich bag.
I used to have only one Barbie. Then, they gave me my cousin’s Barbies, Kens, and all her scenarios (Hot Dog Stand, Hawaiian House, and one Dream House). Hmm…about 25 out of nearly 30 were prostitutes, of the 2 Kens, one was asexual, the other a pimp. The other 5 where either studying, working at the hot dog stand, or sloths sleeping at the hawaiian house. I always thought I was precoucious…and then I read this thread.
Well, once my friend and I had a fight with his sister and one of her friends. It ended when I got waled in the head with one of those rigid old barbie legs.
I never did anything much worse than crossdressing and parchuteing them out of windows when I was young, but this last year I had stop-action animations of them being decapitated with a hatchet(it was a practice for timing the camera).
And after a friend of mine read a poem about anorexia that affected him, his cool, creativly decorated truck that we all ran around in had a barbie impaled on some antlers which were tied to the front.
In seventh(?) grade, I went to an assigned partner’s house to work on a school project. Her room decorations included, among other things, naked, decapitated Barbies painted black and hanging from the ceiling fan with nooses around their necks.
I always made Barbie and Ken get married, have lots of sex then Barbie would run off with Ken’s best friend. Or I’d chop their hair off and give them mohawks etc [just the usual].
When my friend and I get bored enough, we’ll go into a toystore and stand in front of the Barbies. Then once we’ve got a little crowd of open-mouthed kids, we’ll give all of the different Barbies and Ken’s new names and tell Barbie’s life story. “This is young Barbie. This is Barbie when she met the dashing young Ken. They then get married. But wait! Ken’s really gay and having an affair with his best friend! Oh no, Ken’s knocked Barbie up and left her! Now she’s prostitute Barbie, selling her body to support her bastard child! Poor Barbie…” and so forth. Very entertaining.
I was reading this thread, with Winamp playing in the background, just playing random songs. I had just clicked on one of Arden Rangers links, when Winamp began playing “We Like to Party” by Venga Boys( yes, I have lots of crappy Mp3s). The GIFs of the barbies fucking on that link EXACTLY matched the base line of that song. It was a riot!
