Domestic Bliss issue: Do you prefer to have "your" drinking glass?

One of those minor things influencing household chemistry.

I prefer to have “my” drinking glass. Why? I just prefer to. I prefer glass over plastic, a bigger glass, and like the thought of avoiding the waste of using a few glasses over the course of the day. But the bottom line - I just prefer to. Seems easy enough - I rinse it out after use, leave it at my place setting in the kitchen and slip it into the dishwasher when it’s time to wash a load.

I don’t have a specific type of glass - if the one that is Mine breaks, I just get a different one.

My wife basically acts as if this were not the case. 20+ years in, if she is setting the table, she grabs a few matching glasses and sets them out.

I do not get that. It’s never led to an argument, but it tweaks my nose in one of those old-time domestic bliss sort of ways. And I am sure it has that underlying frustration for her, too - she prefers the kitchen table cleared (it never is - kids’ text books, papers to sign - stuff), likes things to match, etc.

Just thinking about it when it happened again. No big deal, but kinda ::sigh::.

How about you - is this a common issue? Either specifically about drinking glasses, or something similar? This doesn’t feel like the “Toilet Seat Issue” - I think there is a correct answer there (i.e., a woman might fall into the toilet if they try to use it in the middle of the night - keeping the lid down is the right thing to do in a mixed-gender household)…this just feels like a little thing that crops up once a week or so…

My husband and I both have “our” coffee mugs. He makes the coffee in the morning, and uses them if they’re clean. He’s a nice man.

What cheese me off is that he leaves wash cloths and scrubbers wadded up in the bottom of the kitchen sink, where they go sour and disgusting. His mother does this too, so I think it’s a case of him not being conscious that rags ought to be rinsed and hung to dry.

There are better things to worry about than whose mouth had touched my glass. I mean, we get a lot closer than that in bed, so what’s the point?

I have 4 left of a dozen glasses I bought decades ago - they are my favorites and they’re the first ones I’ll grab. My husband prefers a different style, and he has several of that type to choose. It’s never been an issue when setting the table.

The problem with *HIM *is that he loves lots of ice in his drinks - like fill the glass with ice, then squeeze in whatever beverage will fit. I don’t want more than 4 or 5 pieces of ice - I’ll add more if they melt, but I’d rather have more drink than ice. After 30 years, I have to keep reminding my spousal unit not to fill my glass with ice. Weird.

Here’s a couple of sentences my wife and I have both said numerous times over the course of our marriage:

“Honey, just do it because I asked you to, OK? It’s important to me.”

Yes, I have my drinking glasses and my husband has his. He likes to keep his cold in the freezer and I have my souvenir one from the Old Spagetti Factory in San Diego, plus a couple other glasses that are mine.

I also have my own fork. My husband calls it my “happy fork.” Apparently I’m not the only one - I mentioned it to a friend once and she said “Oh I have a fork too. A “who the fuck is using MY fork?!” fork.”

Oh yes.

In fact, we pretty much have his&hers dishes.

He has his style of drinking glass (thank God we both like glass glasses) and I have mine, and then I have my mugs for hot drinks (he doesn’t drink hot things).

We have and use two different sizes of cutlery for forks and spoons - the only utensil that is only one size is the knife.

I prefer small plates (lunch size) and he prefers large plates (dinner size).

He likes flat, rimmed bowls, and I like deep round Asian or cereal bowls.

When we got married and picked out a china pattern and bought dishes, the rep at the store watched us like we were crazy people as we picked out two types of everything.

That does seem like it should work, doesn’t it?

It isn’t quite that easy, even though I wish it was…

Overall - good to see that I am not alone.

I have a preference for my drinking glass, and I even take that so far as to have some glasses that I prefer for specific beverages … there’s my regular glass and then my regular glass FOR MILK. It’s more of a cup, actually. Milk tastes better in it.

However, I feel that my glass preferences are mine to manage. The person who is setting the table should do it in the way that is the easiest for them, and grabbing a set of matching glasses is probably the most convenient way for many people.

I would gently suggest that a person with strong preferences about drinking glasses also try to cultivate a strong preference for being the one to set the table. :slight_smile:

No special glass, but I do keep a glass on the kitchen counter and reuse it over the course of a couple of days before it goes in with a dishwasher load. When I get up in the morning, first thing I do is down a 16 oz glass of water. I don’t like dirtying up another glass or a dish every time I want a drink or something to eat.


Seriously? Sure, I have a couple of dishes I really like, and my husband has a specific spoon he likes, but neither of us go out of our way, when plating food/setting table, etc, to include them. If they happen to be in the dishwasher, “Oh well!”

Forgive me but it seems a little childish to think she should consider your attachment to cutlery, in the daily course of preparing and serving your food.

What do you do when you dine out? Or at a friends? One assumes you somehow muddle through. Why is this not possible at home, I wonder.

I would suggest that if you are dissatisfied with your dish or cutlery, instead of projecting in onto her, you take responsibility for your own obsession and fetch the piece you would prefer. I believe if you had to get up and switch yourself, you would soon recognize how childish you’re being. (To get any measure miffed over such a thing! To be clear.)

Just my opinion.

I drink water often, and so I try to have one daily glass to avoid filling the dishwasher with glasses.

My partner will put a new glass out for me at dinner. I don’t really care about that.

I do care that the cat has started looking for my daily glass, and sharing it with me if I leave water in it :frowning:

I have a glass and am strangely possessive over my pillow (except my daughter seals my pillow when I am out of town and it’s okay). It’s a memory foam pillow.

The glass is a beer glass from a brewery in Halifax. I will be very sad when/if it falls and breaks.

I would suggest you are over-thinking this. It is not that big of a deal, and I don’t treat it as one.

In the case of setting the table, my glass is on the counter right by the sink - which is also by the dishes, glasses and silverware. Very easy to reach as table-setting is happening. delphica yes - I set the table when I can, and that solves it, but I am usually the one cooking and sometimes am outside getting something from the grill or just focused while she sets the table.

Again - no big deal and no, I don’t have my favorite sippy cup that I must use at a restaurant. Just something easy to include in a standard table-setting process that often doesn’t get included…

Only for booze. And coffee. The rest of the glasses are interchangeable. She can use my coffee mug if she wants, but I won’t use hers. And woe betide anyone who touches my booze glass other than to fill it up!

Oh yes, everybody in the house has “their” glass. We use other ones when necessary but we all know and respect each others favorite. I wouldn’t dream of using one of my sons glass to fix ice tea in and everybody knows the red one is mine.
My husband eats ice cream with our younger sons baby spoon. Only time he uses it. My older son has a favorite bowl.
We do this at home where it’s okay to have your druthers and feel good about it.


Was never much for having my own drinking glass. I do regret the loss of some unique coffee mugs. We have a full set of matching mugs that work very well, good quality and size, I’m perfectly happy to use them, but occasionally one likes the fun mug with a picture or witty thing written on it.

We also have a water only drinking glass by the sink, the wife and I both use it throughout the day.

Yes, but if it’s that important to you, that you would fault her for not including it, then you should take responsibility for it getting where you want it to be.

What if your 12yr old was ragging Mom for not using the favoured dish when, “she knows I prefer it, and it’s right there!”?

I have to believe that 99 out of 100 people would reply, “If it’s that important to you, get up and get it yourself!”

You’re behaving a little like that 12yr old, in my opinion. And expecting to be accommodated is crazy to me.

You want it? Get it yourself already!

I have “my” glass, which is a thick Coke mug with a nice sturdy handle. I drink from it all day and wash it at night so it’s ready for the next day. But when we have a set-the-table kind of dinner, I prefer it if the glasses match, 'cause it soothes my inner Martha Stewart. We only have two of “my” Coke mugs, so we use the tumblers at dinner. So that’s my suggestion: drink out of your glass when it’s just you drinking, but enjoy the beauty and presentation of matchy matchy at dinnertime. That’s about the only way a compromise is possible, that I can see.