Possibly I am being overly anal but I get aggravated when she offers to pour me a drink and then ignores my request that she pour it less than 1/2 full and fills the glass. I am talking things like milk or juice. Soda it doesn’t bother me.
I like to be left with the feeling that one more sip would have been nice. If I have too much it kind of ruins the experience. Same with portions of certain types of foods. If I have a full glass of juice when I wanted a 1/2 I might loose my taste for the juice for weeks. Same with certain types of foods while other types I can simply leave what I don’t want on my plate and it doesn’t bother me a bit.
As I get older this trait seems to intensify instead of lessening. I seldom say anything when it happens but the other day I took my drink and walked over to the sink and poured what I didn’t ask for down the drain just to drive the point home. I also plan to put excess food back in the serving dish next time I get overloaded. She got really pissed when I poured out 1/2 my drink and I imagine she will get really pissed when I scrape 1/2 the food off my plate but what would be a better solution if asking nicely doesn’t seem to work?
Before anyone says I should get it myself I do more than my share of cooking and serving so it is not one sided. I appreciate and happily follow her instructions regarding her food.
It’s not quite the same thing, but my wife likes to fill a cup of tea to the absolute brim which makes it extremely inconvenient for me to carry. She doesn’t get pissed if I pour some down the sink, though.
I would mention it before she pours your drink. “Only half, please”. If she ignores you, then pour out half. If she gets pissed, say, calmly, “I only want half”. If she says anything other than “OK”, repeat, calmly, “I only want half”.
IOW ask nicely, or at least calmly, more than “seldom”.
When someone asks for “half” and you give them “full” I do think it’s in the passive-aggressive category.
Yes, adults should be able/willing to serve themselves, but if the other party offers accepting shouldn’t be a problem either.
There are several ways you can do this.
You could simply refuse her the next time she offers to fill your glass or plate and if she asks why say “I do not appreciate having more put on my plate/in my glass than I ask for, it’s wasteful and over consumption is not good for my health” or some variant.
You could pour out/return the unwanted half but as pointed out, this could turn into a pissing match.
You could ask her why she insists on overfilling against your stated wishes - I’ve encountered people who come from cultures where NOT filling glasses and plates is seen as terribly rude and disrespectful. On the other hand, this can also be like some people I’ve known who sabotage the efforts of others to lose weight or otherwise improve themselves.
You could simply not drink/eat the unwanted half and leave it without saying anything.
As an alternative to dumping the drink down the sink, why not just put the unfinished portion in the refrigerator for later? Later might be never, and you’ll make the same point. You’re just not going to finish the larger serving at one sitting.
As I said in my quote, if she offers to get me a drink while she is up and I accept I think it is fair to serve a drink as requested. I do more than my share of serving her as well so it is not one sided.
Yes, that’s fair. When she offers, just say “Only half, please”. If she brings you a full glass, say “thanks” and pour half of it out without remark. Repeat as often as necessary.
