No such thing in my household. I once had a boss who had “his” mug (it was the biggest mug in the kitchen), and some poor employee who didn’t know any better accidentally drank coffee from it one day, not knowing it was the boss’s mug, and got berated for it. So, last day of work, I stole the mug and started sending pictures of it from my travels around the world. This was years before Amelie. He wasn’t happy about it, but the other employees seemed to enjoy it.
Of course, if she had a specific glass or type of glass she liked, I’d do my best to remember it for the sake of domestic tranquility. I like tranquility, domestic or otherwise.
I applaud everyone who does such sweet considerate things for their spouse.
But it’s something else entirely when it’s driven by the demands and expectations of the other. To fault someone for not accommodating such a whim seems a tad childish, and beyond controlling, to me.
If my husband couldn’t be arsed to fetch his special glass himself, I’m not going to think it’s really that important to him.
I don’t mind if people want to use “their” cup, but I’d draw the line at them leaving it at their place setting all the time. Either be actively using it (which includes sipping from it throughout the day), store it in the cupboard (after a proper cleaning, not a rinse) or put it in the dishwasher. Leaving it on the table when not in use is not an option.
I guess I still don’t understand where you get that he is overtly faulting her. He’s mildly griping on a message board, not to her face, not asking us for tips on finding a divorce lawyer.
I’ve been with my husband for 14 years. (Wait…really? Almost. 13-1/2. Wow). There are things just like this that make me sigh (internally, not out loud) and think, “How is this Brand New Information every single time?”* And then we go on, and I move the dry towel closest to the shower so it’s the first one he grabs, and he buys the brand of Greek yogurt that I love, and all is well with the world.
And there are most certainly things that I don’t think of that make him sigh, because life is like that when you deal with other people.
A handful of good words that take care of an infinitude of minor issues.
And my wife and I each have our own coffee mugs in the morning, and our own drinking glasses that we drink out of the rest of the day, which are of different styles. Sure, we could tell them apart with a close look because my sweet tea’s got some lemonade mixed in, so it’s lighter in color, and hers doesn’t, but this way it’s just automatic.
When I was a kid my dad had his own glass in just the fashion that you do. It was my job to set the table, and he or my mother would always remind me to use his water glass instead of one that matched the rest on the table.
It totally frosted my cookies. So, I get both of your points of view. However, as an adult when setting the table now, I will ask my husband if he has a glass he’s using and use that unless we’re entertaining. Of course if we’re entertaining, I will give him a glass to use early in the day that will match the eventual ones that wind up on the table.
That is hilarious. I now must find a Batman glass. For a while it was a McSorley’s Ale pint glass I got free when I bought a sixer at the store. Now it’s one of those 10-sided (?) glasses with 500 on the bottom.
I have about a dozen assorted crystal wine glasses I have accumulated from estate sales over the years. None of them match. I buy singles that I find interesting.
My current favorite is a Waterford Lismore Claret glass. Ten dollar a bottle wine tastes better out of a ninety dollar wine glass…
Heh, bunch of pansies. I’ve got the PUNISHMENT MUG! It’s an annoyingly heart shaped mug and you’re not sure where to sip from, also very annoying to wash so it doesn’t come out until all the others need washing. Take that, least favoured one!
Leading the herd is the conical mug for me and the small came-free-with-a-jar-of-coffee one for him.
There are things I do around the house because they are important to me. Sometimes my husband remembers, sometimes he forgets. I try to remind myself that if I am the only one who cares then it is my responsibility to make it so. That said, I also make an effort to accommodate my husband’s preferences just because it is nice to do so. He likes to have his designated glass that he uses all day. Normally if I found an empty pint glass all smudged and gross-looking, I’d put it in the dishwasher. But after 10 years I know about “his glass” so I only take it at the end of the night because I love him. Even if I do find it kind of gross.
So, I get both of your points of view. However, as an adult when setting the table now, I will ask my husband if he has a glass he’s using and use that unless we’re entertaining. Of course if we’re entertaining, I will give him a glass to use early in the day that will match the eventual ones that wind up on the table.