I posted this in another thread:
But the more I think about it, I’ve seen these movies already.
I’m pretty sure there’s a Sith lord behind the Trump candidacy, and everything that’s happening is all part of his master plan. Nothing else can explain it.
But the question is: Who is the master? Mitt Romney? Paul Manafort? Paul Ryan? Sheldon Adelson?
Let me ask you this: Which Republican politico could you most clearly picture shooting Cory Booker with force lightning while screaming “Unlimited power!” There is only one possible answer, and that’s Ted Cruz. Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
For the past three years, since his election to the Senate, Cruz has been setting the stage for the 2016 presidential election-- including his own eventual defeat in the primary. He has used his force powers to catapult Trump-- the only only possible candidate more loathsome and repulsive than Cruz himself-- into the GOP nomination, tearing the party to shreds in the process.
To the public, Cruz is just an annoying senator from Texas, but secretly he’s controlling the strings of the Trump campaign-- and the very fate of our Republic-- as the dark lord, Darth Repugnus.
Repugnus’ first apprentice Carly Fiorina, also known as Darth Face, was sacrificed early, but like her Star Wars counterpart Darth Maul, will rise again, soon stepping into the role of RNC Chair. And like Maul, Face will harbor deep resentment for Repugnus’ early abandonment of her.
Repugnus’ second apprentice Donald Trump, also known as Darth Orangeuos, will take the fall on November 8, but is already plotting with his dark master to lead the GOP separatists against Cruz’s Clone Army for the next four years for control of the Republican Party.
By 2020, Repugnus will have recruited his final and most powerful apprentice yet, luring him from the light to the dark side of the Force, where he will unveil him as his running mate, and the two of them will rule the galaxy.
Who will this final apprentice be? The Dark Side clouds everything. Impossible to see, the future is. Luckily for us, this apprentice will have a son…