A twenty sided one would be a better president.
Mr president, how much emphasis should we put on good relations with (throws dice, consults table) Namibia?
(throws again) gets a 12.
Ok, now for the new ambassador to Malasia…
To be perfectly Gygaxian, I would insist on using percentile dice, with appropriate tables.
"Wait, the new ambassador to Malaysia is… a cheap trollop?
Yeah, Omarosa is a spokeswoman for Trump. She’s been on several news programs talking about him, and she seems the same in those shows as she did on The Apprentice.
I wonder what ever happened to her lawsuit against LaToya Jackson?
But you need 2 dice for percentile values (unless you use one of those ball-like 100-side dice and that’s just wrong) and the presidency is like the price in Highlander, there can be only one.
Trump is safe, then. Who the hell wants his quickening?
Eww.
Don’t worry, his sword is too short to be effective.
Warning to suppliers for Trumps’ campaign. Odds he’s going to stiff you on the payments? 100%. You’ll be offered pennies on the dollar to settle your invoice. If you’re lucky.
Because that’s just how The Donald rolls.
Advertisers, venues, caterers, printers, security firms, media consultants… You’re gonna lose money. Some of you will lose so much, it may put you out of business, like The Donald’s suppliers in the past. You’ve been warned.
Trump has no money, and no prospect of getting a lot. The RNC is in the driver’s seat for fundraising and spending. Trump has “lent” his campaign 38 million, and you can believe he is the NUMBER ONE creditor who will be paid back first.
So… Good luck to anyone who deals with him. You’re going in with your eyes wide open. Hope your business survives.
I was saying Trump but upon rewatching Biden’s speech found that I had misheard and misspoke.
And the fruit cup was yuuuuge.
Trump: “Why do people take such an instant dislike to me?”
Lawyer: “Because it saves time.”
In addition to all that GOP criticism, Mitch McConnell has some pointed observations, too: http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/10/politics/mitch-mcconnell-donald-trump-issues/index.html
He’s a racist who knows nothing about the issues. Used to be only the Democrats said that about Republican candidates.
Anybody seen the new The Donald ad? I happened to catch it on CNN. (Actually, it’s an anti-Clinton ad, never mentions Hair Hitler at all.) Nothing like a good, redemptive, totally unexpected message…
[/irony]
Well, he does want his 38 million dollars back (as mentioned in Euphonious Polemic’s post, a few above this one).
That is really the only leverage the party has over Trump, since he cares not a whit about his future in politics. Either he becomes Prez and therefore can rake in masses of cash (think of the prices he can charge for Ambassadorships and Federal Judgeships alone!), or he fails to become Prez and goes back to bilking the rubes with some new variant on Trump University. It’s not as though he has a Senate seat or Governor’s mansion to protect.
So they need to make a deal in which Trump will feel he’ll get his money’s worth–the $38,000,000 and PLENTY of ‘interest’ on top of it. If the GOP comes across, Trump might conceivably step down and make way for Romney or Cruz or whoever the hell the GOP thinks they can sell to the electorate.
But the GOP has no other means for controlling Trump. Once he gets his money, their leverage is gone. Either they get him to step down, or he goes on doing his own thing. There is no third alternative.
An interesting wrinkle in this cycle is that much of the right-wing media apparatus (from Fox News down to the blogs), which would normally serve to counter and/or filter out a lot of this negative press, is going to sit on its hands now that the nominee is Trump. They’re disgusted by his overt racism and his transparent disdain for, well, anyone who disagrees with him over anything. A story like “Contractorgate” might not have penetrated into the right-wing media sphere had the candidate not been Trump — bloggers would vetted the individual claims and probably found excuses to doubt at least some of them, and a counter-narrative attacking Clinton would have quickly arisen. Instead, Trump is alone in the wilderness.
James Fallows is respected writer, journalist and expert on China. Over at his blog last month he started the series Trump Time Capsule. I think he’s up to #17. In the link he lays out his motivation: [INDENT][INDENT]People will wonder about America in our time. It can be engrossing to look back on dramatic, high-stakes periods in which people were not yet sure where things would lead, to see how they assessed the odds before knowing the outcome. The last few months of the 1968 presidential campaign: would it be Humphrey, Nixon, or conceivably even George Wallace? Or 1964: was there a chance that Goldwater might win? The impeachment countdown for Richard Nixon, in 1974? The Bush-Gore recount watch in 2000?
The Trump campaign this year will probably join that list. The odds are still against his becoming president, but no one can be sure what the next five-plus months will bring. Thus for time-capsule purposes, and not with the idea that this would change a single voter’s mind, I kick off what I intend as a regular feature. Its purpose is to catalogue some of the things Donald Trump says and does that no real president would do.
Is this implicitly anti-Trump? No, it’s explicitly so. I’ll vote Democratic this fall, because I disagree with the current Republican party’s stance on tax policy, budget policy, health policy,… and judicial appointments too. But if Donald Trump were the Democratic nominee, I would not vote for him. [/INDENT][/INDENT] That’s shriller than Fallows generally is. But props for laying out his motives. Anyway, basically he takes Trump to task for his near-daily ridiculousness and argues that it reveals a temperament unsuited for the Presidency. Fallows was Carter’s speechwriter and he’s been tracking Presidencies for a while.
James Fallow’s blog home page: James Fallows, The Atlantic
There’s plenty of stuff to criticize Trump for. No need to be delusional about the RNC paying off his primary debt with “PLENTY” of interest. Did you not even read the fucking article Euphonious Polemic linked? It doesn’t say Trump is intent on getting his money back, just that he left that door open and he’s got an ever closing window to do so from current campaign funds.
I like the cut of your jib, Nonsuch. Hope you’re right, and will keep being right at least through November 8.
Trump only has until the convention to raise money for the primaries (including paying off loans) - after that, by law, all money coming in must be earmarked for the upcoming election.
This made me laugh out loud. Yeah, an article doesn’t say Trump is intent on getting his money back, therefore he’s not intent on getting his money back. 
Very true. But that wouldn’t prevent some deep-pockets Pub from quietly handing Trump a check.
(As if he would declare it…there’s a reason the IRS has been auditing him every year for yea-many years.)
Indeed. And Trump can only raise money for his own campaign $2700 at a pop. The RNC fundraising can get a lot more per individual, ($449,400 to the joint committee) but can only transfer $5400/person over to Trumps campaign war chest.
I really think that Trump thought he was doing a leveraged takeover of the RNC, and after clinching the nomination, he would have total and personal control over every nickle of the hundreds of millions or so they controlled, as well as total control over every dime in every right-wing PAC. He thought that this money would be his to spend, play with, use as he saw fit.
Yes, I think he’s just that dumb. He’s going to be personally out tens of millions, and have nothing to show for it but a box of those silly looking hats.