Donald Trump's Funeral

Any man who is seventy years old ought to have his funeral plans in order. The Deep State always has a funeral plan for the President.

Given the strong emotions this president evokes, what sort of funeral might we expect if he drops dead in office, or if he passes shortly after retiring?

Honestly, I am sort of asking for some serious thoughts rather than a lot of shouting. But of course, I am not the boss of you.

I suppose President Trump being the sort of man he is has checked the box for all the bells and whistles. I could imagine (in Case 1) laying in state in the White House, a service at the National Cathedral and internment at Arlington.

All sitting officials will more-or-less have to attend. I bet most ex-presidents would also come.

But if the guest of honor knows how much he is disliked, he might have opted for a low-key funeral with a burial near his mom & dad in New York.

Your thoughts?

Funerals of heads of state are major opportunities for international diplomacy, so he’ll likely get the full monty.

I’d be okay with a public cremation. And everyone who voted for him would be invited to join in suttee.

When I read the title I thought of this scene from The Young Ones (cued to 3:42, through about 4:00). :stuck_out_tongue:

Rick: Help! I’ve just fallen into a grave!
Vyvyan: Brilliant! Let’s fill it in!
Neil: No, no! We can’t bury Rick alive!
Vyvyan: That’s absolutely correct, Neil. We’d better kill him first. [Hits Rick with shovel]

It would be fitting if every head of state that he snubbed, shoved, or otherwise offended refused to attend his funeral, from Enrique Peña Nieto and Angela Merkel to Justin Trudeau and Queen Elizabeth II. Of course, the only heads of state we would actually want at his funeral, e.g. Vladimir Putin, Rodrigo Duterte, and other “strongman” leaders, will ignore him entirely.

Meanwhile, Mike Pence will oversee the ceremony, grinning from ear to ear while thinking about taking America back to the good old days where women were in the kitchen, gays and trans were in the closet, and darkies were in the cotton fields, while plotting on how to elevate his Fundamenralist Christian agenda into law. Good times.


I imagine something a lot like this.

Why? You’re dead then. It doesn’t matter whatsoever whether there is even a funeral nevermind what kind. Instead it’s a question of what your relative want to do, if anything. So they can make any plans they want.

Perfect! :smiley:

Ivanka: That’s a terrible makeup job! Doesn’t look like him at all.
Mortician: But he looks completely natural.
Ivanka: I know!

It will depend on his standing when he dies. Most presidents get a funeral with lying in state, and processions, public and private ceremonies, and so on. The exception to that was Nixon, who got a much smaller affair, due to his behavior.

If Trump is generally well regarded as President, or even tolerated, he’ll get a full state funeral. Unless things change, I suspect he’ll get a “Nixon”.

It will be a scramble by his heirs and allies to best aggrandize themselves, ensure their future earnings, and maximize their inheritance from an estate that’s probably a lot smaller then they’d like.

Well, once he is not President he cannot command the Park Service, the VA or really anyone else to comply with his wishes.

It has been a long time since we’ve had a POTUS die in office, in fact we’re now in the longest such interval since the post was first inaugurated (it was 52 years before the first such, W. H. Harrison; this November it will be 55 years since JFK). So a whole bunch of our referents of what happens are based on FDR and JFK from what is another world in politics and media.

Now, honors that are *specific to the condition of veteran or military officer *as opposed to being an elected official do not automatically convey, as being CinC does not make you an officer or a veteran. So for example Arlington would be out of the question as he’s neither a veteran himself nor immediate family of someone already resting there; elected officials are only eligible for Arlington if they’re one of those. Let the Hannitys scream themselves hoarse about how this cannot be.

Death in office *will involve full lying in state at the Capitol --not the White House, that’s President Pence’s place of work!()-- for several days for long lines of viewing mourners from his fan base, 30 day half-staff period(**), ceremonies at various public places, a tour of different locations, etc. There will be large numbers of mourners wanting to pay last respects, maybe he will finally get his “biggest ever crowd on the Mall”.

However I can’t help but think there could be some serious snubbing or sending of pointed proxies, e.g. sending some particularly useless far-down-the-line royal to be by the Ambassador’s side. If GHWB41 is still around he’d be likely excused on health grounds, the other past presidents will just show up long enough to give their condolences to Melania and then be out of there.

(Oh, he could let it be known he wants that… but once he’s dead he’s the Nothing In Chief, and the job of the sitting POTUS takes precedence )
* Pretty sure there will be some “inadvertent” re-raisings before…)
Death out of office will likely involve a much briefer DC portion of the activities and something more centered around the ('tis to laugh) Trump Presidential Library if it already exists or else at other locations better associated with him. Plus a whole damn lot fewer dignataries showing up. We have better recent examples with Reagan, Nixon and Ford for what could be the various ways of dealing with it, incuding if he is considered disgraced.

He wouldn’t get QEII - she doesn’t do long haul any more. Depending on how long it would be since his departure from office, we might not be represented at all or only by the Ambassador. If he were still in office, then it would be interesting to see which junior royal would be sent - if someone has a sense of humour, probably Princess Michael of Kent.

Either way, will there be dancing?

I can totally see Pence persiding over a Cadever Synod for the Donald. Think the Potomac will susbstutute nicely for the Tiber, though his fingers will probably be too small to snip…:stuck_out_tongue:

Nixon specifically did not want a big DC funeral. If he wanted one I guess he would have gotten one , just my 2 cents. But I am sure a big DC funeral for him would have led to many complaints.

I suspect trump thinks that all of creation will disappear in a puff of smoke as soon as he’s no longer in it, and so hasn’t made any plans.

I plan on breaking out the good whiskey.

‘What sort of monument would you like?’

‘The heaviest one you have!’

Someone at CNN says “are we real news, again?”

There will be a puff of smoke - but it will be from his lackeys burning the documents.
Maybe we can give him the parade he wanted. And it will be heavily attended - unlike the Inauguration. Give the people what they want and they’ll come.

It’ll be easy enough to get folks close to him to give him a positive eulogy. His kids, if not Melania, and plenty of Senators and Congresscritters. Ex-presidents can attend and just keep quiet. Same with other heads of state or their stand-ins.

If he’s impeached and removed from office, or if he quits then all bets are off.