Donald Trump's Funeral

I heard that shock rocker GG Allin’s gravestone had to be removed, because fans who visited the ceremony would urinate or defecate on his grave - acts for which he was notorious for performing onstage. I could see Dumpster’s grave being unmarked for the same reason.

Here’s some footage of Weird Al Yankovic from his Hollywood star ceremony. Yes, it’s relevant to this thread.

I think that if he can’t take it with him, he isn’t going.

Should he indeed die, I want some official to sing that he isn’t only merely dead, he’s really most sincerely dead.

As for disposal of this toxic waste, I think either the Oswald treatment (no grievers, pallbearers drafted into service) or the Hoffa treatment (just disappear) are appropriate.

I already have this loaded on my phone, ready to blast out loud.

Are we talking about the funeral service, or the burial itself - or both?

I am assuming Trump’s Presidential Library will be privately funded, so both what is said about him and who can get to the gravesite can be controlled. Alternatively, there will be a wooden floor placed directly above the coffin, and people charged $10/minute to dance on it. In any event, it will almost certainly be on some private land. Oh wait…you dont think there’s a Trump Taj Mahal for a reason, do you?

Somehow, I don’t think there will be a public lying in state; too many people will try to do something like tip over the coffin.

Cemetery, not ceremony. :smack:

I totally hope it involves a wood chipper.

It wouldn’t keep me up nights if they just tossed the body off of a ship Bin Laden style.

At least they could have a Muslim seaman say prayers over the body first like they did with bin Laden.

Cremate his carcass with gasoline, in an old oil drum.

Send what’s left out to sea, in an old floating hubcap, while an all-convict group sings the Wiffenpoof Song.

Dig a hole, drop in his fat carcass.

But Not in My Back Yard.

You don’t suppose he’d go the mummification route, do you? Or cryonics?

As I said in another thread, his remains shot be dropped on the moon. What, with a the many, many people wanting to urinate upon his dessicated husk, it will provide the space industry with motivation to make lunar travel “affordable”.

If he were to die while still in office, there would be tons of drama over his funeral, but assuming he does live for a while after he leaves office, I expect a lot of the rage and frothing hatred will die down and he will get a pretty standard send-off with many fond recollections of all the great things he did.

Remember how much you all hated George W Bush back when he was president? He was “Bushitler” to many. But now that he is out of office, he’s cool again. Just a cute old dude sharing candy with Michelle Obama and talking about his paintings and his granddaughter.
Same thing with McCain - when he was actually running against Obama, he was viewed as a monster by the left and almost certainly a racist, but now that he is dead, he’s cool again. NOW, it’s okay to point out that he even defended Obama against racism!
The same will happen with Trump. You didn’t care much about him back when he was The Apprentice guy, but then the media told you to hate him, so he is the bane of your existence…for now. Once Trump dies and a new Republican rises to power to replace him, the media will start focusing on all the good and humanizing stories about Trump. The NEW GUY will suddenly take Trump’s place as the literal reincarnation of Hitler. If this board is still around then, I hope someone will bump this thread to show I was right.

He’ll probably get a state funeral, it’ll be protested or boycotted but a sizable contingent will show up to pay honors and there will be more Marines and guards than usual to prevent mischief.

I do think Trump is different and will be always be regarded as different than Bush and McCain and won’t be seen in a better light after leaving office. But you’re right that the hottest heat of vitriol is always saved for the “current” guy and not a past guy.

Romney was suddenly viewed as OK after the 2012 election.

Good Gawd, can you imagine the conspiracy theories? :eek:

I am one of a very small minority who believes that should the impeachment net get reeeeeally tight, he will more likely commit suicide than step down.

No, I don’t want that to happen either.

I was going to say exactly this. It doesn’t even really matter if he’s still in office; either way it will be the result of a nefarious plot & the Deep State.

And… I was also ninja’d with regards to suicide. I think that if he were smarter and could fully process the situation he is in & the end of his world, when the DOJ eventually does its thing, that suicide could be a real possibility. In fact, I think the Secret Service should consider this & take appropriate steps. But… luckily for the President, I see no indication that he has the ability to process information or emotion well enough to have this particular end as a likelihood. If all of the Children are charged & face jail time (no pardons), you may very well see one of them (or a spouse) try their hand at suicide.

I wouldn’t want them to do that either, but it does make sense.

I agree a presidential suicide would be a terrible [del]stain[/del] event in the history of the office of the presidency. They should do everything in their power to prevent that.