…as he was never technically alive, couldn’t the Vegan eat the Idol Man…?
You’ve been served a lobster with TENTACLES?
Wow. Sounds like genetic engineering has come further than I thought.
But wouldn’t the tentacles make it harder to keep the lobster from climbing out of the pot of boiling water?
You’ve been served a lobster with TENTACLES?
Wow. Sounds like genetic engineering has come further than I thought. Though it would certainly explain the whole “puppy dog eyes” thing.
(But wouldn’t the tentacles make it harder to keep the lobster from climbing out of the pot of boiling water?)
Crap. My first post in months and I double post it. Sorry.
It ain’t him that’s hilarious. I’ve seen that story all over the net.
This made me literally LOL. Something about the way it was worded. I imagined a lobster scrabbling up the front walk and scratching at the door with a rubber-banded claw…
Hey, if anyone thinks dropping live lobsters in boiling water is bad, I heard that in Japan they have kind of an extreme form of sushi where they take the lobster and dismember it in various ways, and serve it to you on a platter. Apparently you can still see the eyes moving and internal organs throbbing…
On a slightly related note, check out Ethel the Opera Lobster at Gobler Toys.
Actually, I AM pretty funny. As far as the story being all over the Net, that’s news to me. I wrote it as a riff off an old “Bloom County” strip where Steve and the others trap a liberal with a Village Voice and a rope net.
And you’d have to figure that it’d be a Parkway-dweller trying to cut a man down. 16W represent!
quietman1920 - CRABS sing Disney songs.
Lobsters are partial to the B-52’s.
I don’t know about live lobster sushi, but I know that there is a similar dish done with shrimp. The description that I had originally read about “dancing shrimp” had the shrimp dancing because they were on a hot griddle.
I didn’t see that when I was there, but there were a few things that I had when I was there that you would have a hard time serving in most countries, including deep-fried fish bones (which were surprisingly good!) and grilled chicken cartilege (which I enjoyed a bit less). Suffice it to say that the Japanese waste nothing in their cooking…
I’ve seen this at sushi restaurants here in the US, it’s vile. They chop the lobster in half and prop him up in the middle of a plate of sushi. The claws and other assorted appendages wave around and it quite disturbing. I don’t know if you actually eat the lobster or just enjoy it’s slow death while you partake of your meal, either way I’ll pass.
Well, then a lot of others had the same idea. But I’ll drink for false accu and welcome you to the boards anyway. And the bit about the deconstructionist 'zine was pretty good. 
Hey, the fringe elements are easy to caricature. No offense taken.
As shown by this chart (middle of page) lobsters and cockroaches are closer to telemarketers than man is. So if you’ve no qualms about boiling or crushing either of the former… 
In the June 24, 2002 issue of Newsweek there’s an article entitled:" Hey, It’s Hot In Here!"
The author mentions a company that will send a live lobster to your door. The suggested cooking directions are to just microwave that lobster. The author does so, and the lobster tap tap taps on the door as it goes around on the turntable.
If I remember correctly, there were quite a few angry letters the next month. It does sound rather gastly.
Unfortunatly I can’t link to the article, it requires a subscription.
I’ll stick to boiling. Microwaving Lobsters…? Shades of Frank Black and The Millenium Group :eek:
Anyone remember the video game Maniac Mansion? I remember in the original release for Nintendo, you could put a hamster in the microwave… they had to change it after someone found out tho…
Sorry, random digression along the lines of torturing animals 
I will happily kill any lobster. Generations of women living near the sea kill and cook lobster.
Giving a live lobster a bad move?? BAH! Any man who gives me lobster gets sex. Period.
OH and round here, we eat the WHOLE lobster, we nibble all the way down those long thing legs and get the tender strip of meat, we snap the flippers off the end of the tail for the little taste inside…
I usually start with the tail, a quick twist, and its off the body, i hold it between both hands and squeeze, cracking the shell lengthwise, then snap it backwards, releasing the entire shaft of meat… the claws are straightforward, i use nutcrackers if i have them, my teeth if i dont, and then the body, thats a little treat of its own for when you are all done the easy-to-get meat.
mmmmmmmmmmm lobster…
Um, can I have your shipping address?
Actually, on second thought, never mind.
Yes, I should have included an exemption for self-sufficient, non-squeamish women. I was thinking of the courtship rituals of the metropolitan variety.
Maybe I’m just being my usual snarky self, but you might want to delete that last word.