Don't be afraid...I use my powers only for good

One of my cats, Alex, is extremely talkative. He meows all the time. And not just for meals (although he is loudest then); after meals, in the morning, when I go to bed, in the afternoon, etc. My question is this: Does he really have that much to tell me (and if so, what?), or is he just saying “Hi!” over and over? Also, why does he obsessively lick the chest X-ray that’s sitting on the lowest shelf of the bookcase in the living room?

My offering is a lovely lemon-blueberry cheesecake from this cookbook (page 23).

Joe, the golden retriever thought that you WANTED him to frisk visitors before they entered your home. DO YOU WANT HIM TO PROTECT THE FAMILY OR NOT? He’s getting confused as all get out.

Roxy is frankly, A BIT TIRED of being referred to as “the other golden retriever”, or “NIGHT AT THE ROXY” or “ROXY MUSIC” or “FUZZLIPS”. Just call her Roxy would you? I think you’ll see snide sneer disappear.

Tipsy says your house is riddled with foul smelling gnomes.

Alex is really a talkative sort. He told me about this one time, when he was eating and he ate this piece of food that was moving and it turns out it was a fly and he was totally grossed out, but it was already chewed up, so he had to swallow it and then there was no water in his dish so he climbed up into the kitchen sink and was drinking from the faucet and then all of the sudden this bird? This one bird? It flew right at the window and hit the window and fell? But it totally freaked him out and so he was freaked, and he fell down and then his hip hurt for like DAYS, and then he was walking by and you said, “Hey Squirt”, and he was like “my name isn’t squirt” and tried to tell you that but you weren’t listening? you never listen.

That’s the problem.

BWAHAHAHAHA! Oh my God, jar, that was classic. I’ll bet that’s exactly it. He’s a twelve-year-old! Of course! How stupid of me! There are all these important things he’s just got to tell me, and I just don’t understand!

Tell him I’ll try harder to keep his water dish full.

And thanks for making my day. :slight_smile:

Wow, the package is in the post! I don’t know what mystical stuff is going on here, but no live mice this morning…instead a head and a few innards at the top of the stairs…you certainly got through to her! I bow before your Electricness…

Would you please tell Zazou the Wonder Kitty how eternally grateful I am for the fact that when he chooses to shit outside the cat litter box, he shits in the bathtub, which is easy to clean? Thank you. In return I offer you a big bag of gumdrops and a €0.10 coin from Ireland with a pretty harp on one side.

Could you please ask my lovely, if not slightly evil, cat Anastasia what possessed her yesterday? I was walking through the living room in a normal fashion and she stopped, looked at me, and meowed. Then the hair on her back stood straight up, her tail fluffed out to four times it’s regular size, and she hopped three steps sideways. What’s up with that?

I offer some of my grandmother’s lemon merengue pie, if we can find the recipe.