[QUOTE=Lil’ Slugger]
You know, out of idle curiousity I googled her user name and found a flickr page where it appears she has posted pics of herself, her two boys, her silver VW beetle and her cat.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=drachillix]
If shes on the house, it would be a matter of hunting for real estate transactions in 1997 involving a Rhonda in hayward price range $140K-$160K
[/QUOTE]
Guys, don’t do this. Collecting personal information from other threads and/or offering suggestions to potential Internet detectives on how to track someone down in real life is simply not cool. Any more posts along these lines by anyone will results in warnings and an overuse of the :mad: smiley.
[QUOTE=Giraffe]
Guys, don’t do this. Collecting personal information from other threads and/or offering suggestions to potential Internet detectives on how to track someone down in real life is simply not cool. Any more posts along these lines by anyone will results in warnings and an overuse of the :mad: smiley.
[/QUOTE]
Anyone with the internet and Google can do what they did - what makes it so wrong to post this public, easily-obtained information?
[QUOTE=featherlou]
Anyone with the internet and Google can do what they did - what makes it so wrong to post this public, easily-obtained information?
[/QUOTE]
I suspect for the same sorts of reasons that we have the ‘two click’ rule for certain stuff, the ‘no posting contact info’ for stuff that’s readily obtainable (for example, a rant about a governmental official cannot contain their email, even if it’s easily findable by googling).
[QUOTE=featherlou]
Anyone with the internet and Google can do what they did - what makes it so wrong to post this public, easily-obtained information?
[/QUOTE]
Because we don’t want to make it any easier for someone to engage in real-life harassment.
I know contact information and stuff shouldn’t be posted - but in this case I think the topic of discussion needed to know just how easy it is for someone who wants to can find out what she has posted. It could make a whole lot of difference in her divorce case if her husband’s lawyer can show she was bragging on the internet about how stupid her husband was and how she was going to let him continue to support her for three years while she had an affair. RSSchen, this is not intended to be ugly, but thought-provoking. You have said some mean and hurtful things about your husband. This man supports you. You have two children with him. Do you really think what you are doing is fair to him? Doesn’t he deserve the chance to be happy, too?
[QUOTE=Giraffe]
Because we don’t want to make it any easier for someone to engage in real-life harassment.
[/QUOTE]
The Reader would also probably like to avoid the potential liability of aiding in such as well, however passively. It’s an entirely reasonable request on the part of the moderators.
Guess this makes the first time I’m disagreeing with a mod :mad: :mad:
Seems to me that pointing out how absolutely trivial it is to perform certain unnamed snoopy activities on the computer is the only way someone with such a superior attitude would come to realize that being found out on the computer IS an issue particularly if she thinks she can hide it for three years.
She is assuming her husband will retain his lack of initiative for the next three years AS WELL AS none of his friends or co-workers noticing AS WELL as her children and all their friends not noticing (her youngest appears too young for that sort of activity, but the older one looks like he might be ready to start playing on the computer soon if he hasn’t already).
[QUOTE=RSSchen]
Yes, we’ve been friends for thirty years, seeing each other on/off throughout our lives…Loverboy was at my house when I would talk to my husband-to-be (not for sex or anything). In the beginning of my marriage, hub was VERY jealous and I simply wasn’t willing to give up my longest and best friend. I offered many times for them to meet (prior to this recent hookup), hub refused. Lover is my oldest and dearest friend and my first love. Life was complicated as I was just starting my recovery when he divorced. But he was there.
[/QUOTE]
RSS, you already know what to do. Do it now, do it fast, and get it done. I personally don’t think you need to disclose the affair. But you need to stop it right now, get your shit together, and separate from your husband. Then focus on your new family dynamics, figure out custody and all that. AFTER that’s finished, start your new relationship. He’s been your friend for this long, he won’t go anywhere.
[/QUOTE]
Of course she already knows what to do. But she won’t do it the decent way. No, she’ll continue her affair until the whole mess explodes.
I can’t stand cheaters. Do what you have to do but leave the marriage first for crissakes! Stop with the selfishness already, just stop. Be adult and respectful enough of your husband to tell him. Do not let him find out for himself. I’ve been cheated on and no I am not bitter anymore because I have a fantastic man in my life but I can tell you that I wish my ex had been decent about it. Oh no, I had to find out scrounging about on the computer. That sucked! No one should have to go through that crap.
BTW and off topic— I’m an OFFICIAL DOPER now!
[QUOTE=Canadjun]
Seems to me that pointing out how absolutely trivial it is to perform certain unnamed snoopy activities on the computer is the only way someone with such a superior attitude would come to realize that being found out on the computer IS an issue particularly if she thinks she can hide it for three years.
[/QUOTE]
If the point can’t be made without digging up her personal information and waving it in her face, then she’ll just have to live with her misconceptions. Changing someone’s mind on a message board is not so important that it has to take priority over all else.
Besides, I think the point can be effectively made without delving into her specifics. Your post is a good example.
RSSchen, this is not intended to be ugly, but thought-provoking. You have said some mean and hurtful things about your husband. This man supports you. You have two children with him. Do you really think what you are doing is fair to him? Doesn’t he deserve the chance to be happy, too?
[/QUOTE]
Yes, he absolutely does. And you all must realize that this is very new and all the bumps and scrapes have not been fully considered. They’re pointed out here, some considerately, some not so much. I listen to the considerate opinions and am truly thinking of a way to make this better.
I admit I made a huge mistake posting this here. I’m inordinately sorry. I fucked up. People fuck up all the time. I need time to ponder the well intentioned advice and get my head straight. OK???!!
And–Jahdra, you too make excellent points that haven’t been yet considered. Thank you.
[QUOTE=RSSchen]
I admit I made a huge mistake posting this here. I’m inordinately sorry. I fucked up. People fuck up all the time. I need time to ponder the well intentioned advice and get my head straight. OK???!!
[/QUOTE]
Maybe you didn’t make a mistake posting this. Some of the details could have been left out, but I hope some of the posts have given you food for thought. No one wants you to go through life miserable; it’s just not fair take advantage of others and make them miserable in pursuit of your own happiness.
If I had one way to sum it all up for my view it’s pretty simple: you get one chance to do life right; there is no textbook or path with dotted lines. You choose what to do. And you have to live with it.
Chances are if you feel the need to hide from others your choices, they are not right.
[QUOTE=RSSchen]
I admit I made a huge mistake posting this here. I’m inordinately sorry. I fucked up. People fuck up all the time. I need time to ponder the well intentioned advice and get my head straight. OK???!!
[/QUOTE]
RSSchen, if I may make a single serious suggestion: please take a hiatus from the affair, while you ponder the well-intentioned advice. Otherwise, I don’t think you will be able to adequately assess the situation.
LilShieste
[QUOTE=RSSchen]
Yes, he absolutely does. And you all must realize that this is very new and all the bumps and scrapes have not been fully considered. They’re pointed out here, some considerately, some not so much. I listen to the considerate opinions and am truly thinking of a way to make this better.
I admit I made a huge mistake posting this here. I’m inordinately sorry. I fucked up. People fuck up all the time. I need time to ponder the well intentioned advice and get my head straight. OK???!!
And–Jahdra, you too make excellent points that haven’t been yet considered. Thank you.
[/QUOTE]
Oh, you made a huge mistake alright. But posting here wasn’t it.
[QUOTE=RSSchen]
Yes, he absolutely does. And you all must realize that this is very new and all the bumps and scrapes have not been fully considered. They’re pointed out here, some considerately, some not so much. I listen to the considerate opinions and am truly thinking of a way to make this better.
I admit I made a huge mistake posting this here. I’m inordinately sorry. I fucked up. People fuck up all the time. I need time to ponder the well intentioned advice and get my head straight. OK???!!
And–Jahdra, you too make excellent points that haven’t been yet considered. Thank you.
[/QUOTE]
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that the brutal, scathing remarks are anything but well-intentioned advice. Everybody wants it to work out for the best - for the kids, especially…even if we think you’re being a selfish, miserable waste of oxygen.
[QUOTE=LilShieste] RSSchen, if I may make a single serious suggestion: please take a hiatus from the affair, while you ponder the well-intentioned advice.
[/QUOTE]
You are sorry you told people you stole cookies from the cookie jar. You aren’t sorry over the act itself.
You need to take a big break from this affair and this board and really do some serious thinking on this matter.
