Props to the OP. I couldn’t agree more. Lying, cheating, skank-ass, NARCISSISTIC bitch all the way. I to hope she gets found out, gets thrown the fuck out on her ear and never sees her children again.
I think it just means, “Wow, I can understand why one would choose to act unethically in such a situation. Not telling a mentally ill man that you want to take another lover might be the best of a list of bad options.”
Sympathy, but not acquittal, if you will.
Well, so she says. He might be totally abusive in ways she’s not expressing, either by choice or inability. Or maybe she’s not having an affair and it’s all made up. Or maybe he’s actually having an affair and she doesn’t know it. Or whatever.
I don’t know, I have no way of knowing, and I don’t really want to know. I’d be inclined to discuss the matter on this board in the same way I’d discuss a hypothetical.
So, “guilty” then? What happens then? Bad karma points?
Well shit. I have no idea how I missed that (along with about 6 other posts) and now I have to eat from the platter de’ crow. 
However, I still think the impression you gave with the “you people” came across as all encompassing.
That said, I’ve given up on trying to find anything to make my life sustainable, so no. But I do thank you for the generous offer. 
This is weird coming from you, who’ve never been known to judge people harshly and self-righteously on sexual matters. :dubious:
She deserves neither sympathy nor acquittal. She has no ethical right to take another “lover” (god, I despise that word…let’s call it what it is, she wants to fuck around) without her husband’s knowledge and that’s the end of it.
She’s also a shitty parent.
This isn’t a judgement on sex, asshole, it’s a judgement on lying and emotional betrayal.
Depends on your own morality, psychology and religion, I guess. Me, the more I act unethically, even when it’s the best of bad choices, the less happy I am with myself, the worse my depression gets and the more I eat. I don’t think there’s a hell in the afterlife - I think I make it right here and now. I’m not so decided about karma, but again, I find that most of what people call “karma” comes back to bite them in this life - I haven’t made a final determination on Karma as it’s described in its own religious context.
Usually, with hindsight, I realize that I could have made a different, more ethical choice, if only I hadn’t been trying to avoid short term pain. I simply trade off short term happiness for long term ick. The older I get, the more I’m trying to stop doing that - hence my recent fixation on ethics.
Now, that sentiment is just vicious, and not a good outcome for either the OP, her husband, or, most importantly, her kids.
Is there no forgiveness or redemption in your worldview at all? I’m not even a christian, but I still advocate for people to overcome their misdeeds, and work to make amends for bad actions and harm done to others.
Considering all the justifyin’ she’s been doing, you don’t think she would have thrown in the fact that he beats her or is emotionally abusive?
Reeeeeeeeaallly?
Dude, I’ve seen you go off on the whole age of consent thing, totally unhinged, and I detect a pattern.
I’m just saying that I’m not going to beat up on someone based upon the information they provide on this board.
I gave her my own suggestions and have validated the suggestions of others. Constructive criticism is the best approach.
Makes sense!
Part of my reaction has to do with her complete lack of remorse, her self-centered sense of entitlement and her complete lack of regard for how this will affect her children when she gets found out.
Forgiveness would have to start with some kind of sincere repentance. Some people are not capable of ever being sorry. She’s projecting like one of those people.
I guess I don’t literally hope that she never sees her kids again, but I do hope her husband finds out and that she has to deal with consequences.
Right now, she’s breaking both of your ethics.
She’s engaging in action that will end up hurting someone because she isn’t keeping a promise that she made.
Was it an unrealistic promise? Probably. Did she make it anyway? I suppose she did, though we don’t know whether she explicitly promised before God and all the witnesses, “I promise I won’t fuck anybody but my husband, even if it’s my high school sweetheart and it feels really good.” Should we as a society re-visit the meaning of what marriage is and should be? I think so, yes.
None of that changes the fact that she did make a promise which she now is not keeping. You are going to great lengths to justify her misbehavior, even by inventing the possibility that her husband (oh my paws and whiskers!) is cheating on her so that makes it right and how dare we rush to judgement when that evil bastard might be cheating on her! Dear dear me! Poor victim!
She made a promise that she isn’t keeping. Even your ethics should be able to see that her way out is to re-negotiate the conditions of that promise.
She’s not sorry. She’s HAPPY. She’s practically clicking her heels that BF will marry her in three years and she’ll continue to lie to her husband because he’s supporting her.
How do you show forgiveness or redemption to somone who’s not asking for it and doesn’t appear to want it?
Yeah, don’t fuck children and don’t cheat on your spouse. I’m quite the moralist.
All out of context. I was merely giving examples of things that could be happening which would change our understanding of the situation. To try to judge someone’s personal life on a message board based on their own testimony, plus to get all worked up about it is just ridiculuous.
You lack altruism, sir! That’s the problem. Plus you go ballistic.