Don't encorage them

I have recently noticed a increase in the number of TV adverts telling people to make claims for personal injuries suffered at work. Most of the adverts seem to be directed by the same frustrated film student who insists on using epilepsy inducing flash graphics. Generally the adverts are something like this;

“Bernie was swinging on his chair, when the legs broke and he fell over. Due to the colossal emotional trauma he suffered, he was awarded £6,000” Then the smug looking Bernie appears to tell you how you too get cash by making claims against your employers.

Why are we rewarding people for their stupidity?


[obnoxious]I’m Larry H. Parker, and ready to fight for you!

[smarmy]Let Larry H. Parker help you get all you can.[/smarmy]

I hate to break it to you, but those blood sucking personal injury lawyers have been cranking out those stupid commercials for years. As long as there are greedy people out there who are unable to take responsibility for their own mishaps (cmon 90% of those claims are bogus), there will be lawyers to exploit them.

BTW not all lawyers are evil, blah blah , etc…

Sleazyassedlawyer got me my check. Call 1-800-sueemall today and let Sleazyassedlawyer help YOU get YOUR check.

[sub]of course, Sleazyassedlawyer will get 90% of it, but YOU get a check.[/sub]

By definiton, about an equal number disagree with whatever postition you hate lawyers taking. At least in our adversarial system that is true. Here we would consider the valiant, brave, and purehearted insurance defense lawyers trying to protect the noble well intentioned insurance companies from the no good, lazy, fraudulent claimants. Maybe that was a little hyperbolic.

Thus my theory about an even number of lawyers. An odd number upsets the system and creates chaos. Joke.


Maybe some epileptic should sue the commercial maker…

I want to leave the following message on one of these guy’s voice mail: “Hello, my name is Beebrebrox and I need representation. I was rear ended by a Jaguar while driving the delivery truck for a tobacco company. As a result, I have suffered whiplash, seizures, and sexual disfunction. I can’t seem to collect from the other driver’s insurance, and my employer refuses my worker’s compensation claim because I am a smoker and a minority (I’m a Creek Native American). I was hoping you could help me. Also, my wife is divorcing me because of the sexual disfunction resulting from the accident and has seized control of our 15 million in savings, can you represent me in the divorce as well? I’d appreciate you returning this call as soon as possible”

I’d then hang up without giving a phone number. I bet the guy wouldn’t sleep for a week afterward. Him knowing I was out there somewhere but being unable to contact me would slowly drive him insane.

In Rochester one of the personal injury lawyers was somewhat of a local celebrity. Meet Jim THE HAMMER Shapiro. He sues drunks!

“Larry Parker got me $2.1 million!”
over his lifetime

Oy, those ads get me. Of course, when I’m seeing those, it means I’m probably watching the tripe on daytime TV. That means I’m also seeing ads to help me improve my career by going to various career schools. You know, the ones who will give you financial aid if you qualify, who will give you a free laptop! Oh, and those debt consolidation places, too.
Ack! Now I know why I have a 9-5 job. To avoid the cheesy commercials!