Before I got tied into responding to other posts; I actually came in here to complain about people who RSVP’d to my wedding and then never showed. This was a full formal wedding with dinners and an open bar that I had to pay for. Sometimes things happen and you can’t make it. I get that. But this isn’t the case I’m talking about. And if it was only one or two couples; I wouldn’t be tying this now either.
I think it’s another symptom of the society we live in - there are a lot of people who don’t consider and don’t care how their actions affect other people. A LOT of people.
It only takes a couple minutes to RSVP, by phone or email.
The last wedding RSVP we got had a stamped envelope so again a couple minutes out of the day to send the reply.
I love it when people take plates of leftovers for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. It is one less thing to use for Fridge Tetris.
It absolutely IS true. It’s basic human courtesy that if someone invites you to something, offers their hospitality, you RESPOND TO THEM. How would you like it if you invited someone to your party, face to face, and they said absolutely nothing, ignored you as if you weren’t even there? That is the effect of not answering a party invitation. People who have basic social skills answer questions that are asked of them. And since it’s a really nice thing for people to attempt to include you in their social life and offer you the pleasure of their hospitality, the absolute least you can do is thank them for the invitation and let them know whether you are coming or not.
I’m always pleased when I’m invited to a party; it means I have friends and that people value my presence. I don’t take that for granted. And I wouldn’t dream of pissing on that kindness by ignoring it.
I don’t understand why people think it’s OK to ignore invitations. “No response” not does NOT automatically mean “not coming,” it’s fucking rude as hell.
*Yes, I know about “regrets only.” (1) Even that calls on you to confirm that you’re NOT coming. (2) I’m willing to bet that plenty of clods who don’t understand RSVP get this one wrong too. (3) I don’t think I’ve ever received a “regrets only,” but even then I would likely let the host know how much I was looking forward to the event.
I don’t think it’s a good idea, logically or logistically, to plan that someone who never confirmed an invitation is going to be coming. I wouldn’t just plan on them not being there either, though. I’d call around on Saturday morning to nail down the guest list, not buy food for any wishy-washies, and not invite them to my next party because they failed to respond to an explicit RSVP request. They have demonstrated they don’t know what RSVP means, but at least I’ll have the right amount of food and seats available, you know?
Maybe it’s not what Miss Manners would do, but it’s the most logical plan of action.
Why do I feel like we’re making the same point; but you think they’re opposite points. If I invite someone to my home; and they don’t reply at all… I think it’s safe to assume they are NOT going to come to my house.
That is awful. I would be pretty peeved. I’m a dumb single guy but even I know that wedding food and booze do not come cheap.
Well I agree that the mass invites are entirely worthless, events that entail house/apt. parties, birthday parties, or even happy hours from friends are given more attention than club promotions etc.
Emails OTOH as the OP has revealed should be taken seriously.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the world that we live in now. Just an old fashioned email.