Wait, who’s turn is it?
Goddamn it, lissener! How can you be so ignorant?!
And, reeder, you want a piece of me?! Eh?
The “Cloak of Invisibility” is MINE!! HUZZAH!!
My level 1 sorcerer in a pen and paper D&D game died last night. I rolled a critical miss while firing my small crossbow, so the crossbow failed and hit me for 1d4 points of damage. Already being slightly injured this dropped me like a sack of potatoes.
I got better.
Okay, I finally tried it, and I cannot fit my wedding ring up my nose…
I hate my job, I hate my job, I hate my job
All in all, the day went well. True, the bed did collapse, and the monkey got into my great-grandmother’s collection of decorative Victorian wax fruit (completely destroying a truly remarkable example of sliced pomagrantes, although, curiously enough, he left the bananas alone), but the repair men said that the wall to ceiling fun house mirrors could be installed by the weekend and all fifteen crates of tie-dyed evening wear (unisex) were delivered. Tomorrow we must begin work on the wallpaper covered stuff animals, or the children will be terribly disappointed at Christmas!
The new typesetter set an entire magazine in boldface. When I pointed that out to her this morning, she said, “yeah, I kind of noticed that, but I wasn’t sure if it was a problem.”
Yikes.
Ladies and gentlemen of the Straight Dope, consider Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now, think about that. That does not make sense!
Why would a Wookiee - an eight foot tall Wookiee - want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense!
But more importantly, you have to ask yourself: what does that have to do with this post? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this post! It does not make sense!
Look at me, I’m a poster posting about my inner life, and I’m talkin’ about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense.
And so you have to remember, when you’re in that Great Debates forum deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation - does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed message board, it does not make sense.
If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must post!
If the nose job fits, you can’t acquit.
So, if humans get food poisoning because the bacteria don’t die in our stomach acid, how come vultures don’t get food poisoning when they live on rancid meat? Better acid or better immunity?thread
tempting someone to reply… 
I should really not keep seeing someone romantically that is an almost complete a-hole.
I sing the body electric.
Okay, I don’t really know what that means. . .
Some sdmb posters are twisted. Perhaps in this thread…and perhaps not.
WTF would anyone let their kid stay there overnight, for God’s sake? 
I do so have a swimmer’s build. Shamu swims! 
I really like soya hotdogs, but I have no idea what actual meat tastes like. And it’s a pity, because I think I would really like chicken wings.
By this point, there was a small crowd gathering around me and the old man. I could tell that as calm as everyone acted, they were wating for an excuse to riot. The man looked at me hard - as if he wanted me to say it. I looked into his eyes, and knew from the look he gave me that there was no way out. I breathed in slowly, and opened my mouth. The people all around drew in their breaths in a collective gasp, waiting for me to say it. For a few seconds, nothing came out of my mouth. The crowd around me just waited. Finally, i managed to mutter the word.
“Argillic”
Right then, my plan had officially gone to hell…
Why does US 522 suddenly disappear in the city of Winchester, VA? I had to backtrack to the bypass road. Front Royal is a nice little town.
I thought she would but she thought I though she would so she didn’t. Ain’t it a shame?