…have a wife who thinks staying out late drinking with my colleagues after our bi-weekly colloquium is part of the job, and she expects me to participate.
Me too!! I can wear the same pair of socks all week and they still smell like laundry detergent. I only have to stop wearing them because they get all loose and baggy. I also almost never get underarm odor. I wear deodorant maybe once a month, but my armpits smell the same as my elbows at the end of the day virtually always.
Hate you for that? Hell I pity you for that! Winter is the best season ever!
I didn’t think there could be anything in this thread that would make me want to hate someone, but this might be it. :mad: 
…have a great job, sufficient (if not multimillionaire-quantity) money, am married to the love of my life, and have three pretty awesome sons.
Life is good, man.
Have to admit: I’m jealous of a good number of folks around these parts!
And ZipperJJ… awww shucks, ma’am :o
Don’t hate me because I’m 30 years old, still have all my hair (though, it is going gray), and weigh only 10 pounds more than I did when I graduated college, though, about 15-20 of that is muscle. (Yes, I have less fat on me now than I did when I graduated college. I’m basically a more muscular and toned version of what I was when I graduated high school.)
Don’t hate me that I have great money management skills. In spite of my ex and I living on only my income as a software engineer, I was able to buy a house at 26 (she wanted 4 bedrooms so we got that, I would have been happy with a condo), keep up with student loans and car payments, put my ex through community college, and still contribute enough to my 401K to get the full company match. (Granted, there was no cushion, so if a disaster befell, we were screwed.)
Don’t hate me that when we got divorced, we had no lawyers, divorced amicably, and when the house sells I only have to give her 20% of the profit. Oh, and the entire cost for the divorce, between court costs, stenographer, and having a lawyer actually draw up the papers (I wasn’t going to risk screwing it up) was just under $600.
Don’t hate me that I’m now dating a woman who’s almost as tall as me (I’m just under 6’2", she’s 5’11"), is planning on attending law school next fall, and is not whacked in the head. (I’ve had some doozies of relationships. It took until the woman I dated before this one for me to actually realize I’ve finally figured out how to choose normal women.) Oh, and the woman I’m dating and I never fight. We disagree, but we respect each other and never snipe or raise our voices.
And don’t hate me because my time management skills rival those of my money management. I work full time, attend grad school part time year round, am preparing my house for sale, and still have time to have a social life both with and without the woman I’m dating.
Oh, and don’t hate me because I don’t get hungover either. Occasionally, I’ll get a mild headache the next morning that goes away within minutes of consuming a glass of water or two.
Don’t hate me because…
I'm marrying the most beautiful and wonderful woman in the world in 22 days
Don’t hate me because I have a husband who enjoys performing cunnilingus and is very good at it, who cooks amazing meals, makes a great living, communicates clearly, has a great sense of humor (or at least one that’s compatible with mine), fixes everything from the toilet to the laptop, and can get pills into a cat without a fuss. He also has hair down to his bum, which I realize is not a thing for everyone, but it’s one of my weaknesses.
Also, I don’t get ice cream headaches.
Burn! You, sir, are my new HERO!!!
P.S. Don’t hate me because I am easily impressed.
…because Himself and I are still mush-ily romantic after 14 years.
…because I have a trick memory that frequenly has people staring at me for coming up with some obscure bit of knowledge at just the right time.
…because I can cook really well, I’m creative and crafty, I’m a darned good photographer, I host awesome casual parties, I have a really good job, 5 awesome critters, all kinds of electronic gadgets, a nice, if modest home and a loving and supportive family.
Life is good!
… I’m 37 (“I’m not old!”) yet look to be in my 20’s… and would look even YOUNGER if I shaved the beard.
… am not going bald.
… I’m a really good lover.
Cite?
I don’t hate you, I love you…marry me!
… can do stuff you couldn’t even expect from a single chick. . . I can frame, I can sheetrock and paint, I can do plumbing and electrical, I can work your concrete, I can lay tile like a motherfu-shut your mouth, I can cut and split firewood, grow a garden, use every power tool and pneumatic tool made.
I’ve got the tools, and I’ve got the gumption. Don’t hate me because I’m one versatile little chick.
What can I say . . .
I don’t hate you… I want to be your neighbour. Or you to be my contractor. Or something. 
Don’t hate me because I know a little bit about everything, especially if it’s related to science, computers, games, or history.
Don’t hate me because I have more electronic toys than you.
Don’t hate me because I have longer and fuller hair than a lot of women, or that even though I have a few gray hairs they’re a manly, pure silver color.
Don’t hate me because I took this picture.
Don’t hate me because I have also never had a hangover, although that’s mostly because I don’t drink very much or very often.
Don’t hate me because I once sewed a bridesmaid’s dress and shawl.
I forgot one.
Don’t hate me because my girlfriend’s idea of therapeutic shopping for her is a trip to Best Buy.
Some of the folks in this thread are ripe for a really big Karma Smackdown.
I’m just sayin’.