Don’t hate me because my feet don’t stink. Ever. I have old running shoes that I’ve sweated copiously in repeatedly that smell like - running shoes. Not even a hint of feet. I’m missing whatever it is that makes feet smell.
On the other hand, my husband’s feet smell a lot, and it’s very hard for me to take because I’m completely unused to it.
Don’t hate me because I have a great life- I have a nice home with a very manageable mortgage; a good job that pays me a very decent wage, a nice package of stock options and a healthy annual bonus, and which allows me to see my kids in the morning and be home for dinner every night; a beautiful wife who stays home to take care of the house and kids and who cooks me a healthy, tasty full course dinner every night; two well-behaved, smart and fun kids; plenty of extended family who live close enough to see when we want but not so close that we overdose on them; a great network of friends with varied backgrounds; enough disposable income to make the occasional ‘splurge’ purchase and not really worry about finances; and most importantly, we’re all healthy. I haven’t won the lottery, don’t have a 24 year old supermodel trophy wife, or drive a Lexus, but from time to time I have to reflect on how great my life is.
But don’t hate me for it. 
Cowgirl, it could be worse. You could live near a commercial bakery and a sewage-treatment plant. Sometime you go out the door to smell chocolate-chip cookies; sometimes something else…
I don’t hate you for that. I’d just like to figure out how to do that for myself. 
I don’t hate you; I just don’t believe you exist 
Hey, Trip, how *you * doin’? 
Don’t hate me because I’m not worth it. Really.
Don’t hate me because I am the Quality Assurance supervisor at a midwestern craft brewery. Although it IS part of my job to drink beer at work it is not the ONLY thing I do.
But I do set my own hours, so it’s impossible for me to be late to work. I don’t use an alarm clock.
Oh, and 4 nights this week I will paid overtime to stand around and drink beer.
I don’t hate you, I’ve gotten up at 4:30 the past two days to swim. I just wonder how you can be Spanish! We honeymooned in Spain and the both of us are morning people, it was hard since no one was open to eat dinner until we wanted to go to bed.
Don’t hate me because I haven’t lived through a winter for eight years, or because I get paid to travel to interesting countries, meet people and get to places that backpackers only dream of.
Don’t hate my husband because he has a wife who wouldn’t dream of dragging him shopping, leaving him outside the changing rooms clutching her handbag, trying not to look undignified.
…all that and a morning person too!
Same here! Plus, my period only lasts 4 days.
So, what’s it like not having a head?
Don’t hate me 'cause I’m 40 years old and recently hacked 3/4s of my hair off because it was making me look too young.
Don’t hate me 'cause my retirement (and college savings) are already taken care of.
Yeah, but you can calculate how fast you fall, and probably the trajectory too.
So the guy is as hot as the climate?
Don’t hate me because…I finally paid off my credit card and have started a meaningful savings account.
DHMB…
I’m a 28 yo guy who is pretty darn good at yoga.
I can sheetrock, solder, paint, sew (if you don’t need it to look good), clean, build furniture, solve physics & chemistry problems (teach 'em, too), take a decent photo, and cook up a plethora of somethings tasty (including pulled pork, chili, roast chicken, and cheesecake).
You are, however, free to hate me when I have the cheesecake, tho.
Don’t hate me because I’m THAT mom - the one who loses all her baby weight by the time the baby is two months old, with no apparent effort.
You’re asking too much.
(sobs)
Don’t hate me because I am financially solvent and in fact have more money than I know what to do with.
Though not enough to retire on.
Oh, and I work in porn. But really, you should hate me for that, because I don’t really think it’s that great a thing.
I don’t hate you, but I think my husband might be able to work up some indignation.
GuanoLad, whenever I hear people say they have more money than they know what to do with, I always think that I can help them with that problem. I’m a giver, ya know?
I’d only hate you if you were spoken for.
If you’re single then uhm…welp, I love you!