Wring, may I see that burito for just a moment - I forgot to add the secret sauce…
(you knew some one was gonna do it)
Just my $0.01 cent
To me Waiters/waitresses almost = Police Officers in a sense.Not the way of “protecting” but definitely the “serving” aspect. That’s the closest reason I can get to equating the ones who spit and/or serve “unclean” food with bad cops who do the whole police brutality thing. Lukaspriest story comes to mind. It’s one of the things that would put your psyche over the edge.
As for me,I’m pretty much Japanese on the subject.Standard 15%. If the service was very good, then usually it depends on the place. Exaple, if a place like Denny’s, then on a $20 bill for 3 people and good service was in order, a $6 tip ($2 per person) would be in order. I try not to go on precentages all the time though,espically in bars. I dunno if me and my drinking buddy James would be accepted in Audry’s bar or not. We usually run a tab and if the bar hostess is great usually the tip is 25% upwards, but only when were done.
Also, tipping in America is a bit edgy. Things people haven’t mentioned yet when it comes to tipping are racisim and sexisim,and beleive me,they come to play. Anyone care to elaborate?
Interesting. I’m white, and live in the whitest state in the union. Therefore, due to the largely homogenius racial situation here, I can’t really comment on it.
But sexism…hoo doggie. The rule of thumb I’ve found is that men get better tips from tables of women, and women get better tips from tables of men. I, and a couple of the other waitresses I’ve worked with, have what we refer to as our “money shirts.” Fact is that I make more money with more cleavage.
HOWEVER, I am not being paid to have my assets stared at. There’s a difference between a glance and being oogled. I have a lot of respect for women who DO dance for a living, but the fact of the matter is that I’m not being paid for it. If I’m being openly oogled, I get away from the table as soon as possible. I had a fight with my sister (a 15 year waitressing/actress) the other day about this…
I was waiting on a table of men this summer. Four of them. Bass fishermen. They had been out on a boat drinking Schlitz all day, and specifically asked for a “lady server.” My manager warned me about this, as I was next on the rotation. But he asked me if I’d like this table to go to one of the other servers, who both happened to be male. I considered it, but it WAS a four-top. They were skeezy, telling me “Well, I’m glad to see you. I asked for a girl and look what I got.” I politely informed them that it was lucky I was up on the rotation next and could I get them anything to drink? They behaved as soon as I made it clear that I wasn’t going to flirt with them, or allow them to objectify me, and gave me 20%.
My sister claims that if I had flirted with them, I would have made 30%. Bullshit, says I. If I was guarunteed that I was going to get paid for being oogled, that’s one thing. But for me, it’s not worth feeling degraded for the change of a few extra dollars.
I think women end up making more money because men generally pick up the bill. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just saying that’s the way it is. I’m not sure this helps at all. I know for a fact the reverse happens with male servers; I’ve had female friends tip 30% because she thought the waiter was cute.
And on a totally unrelated topic:
I had three bad tipping tables today. One British couple and two tables of Canadians. One of the Canadian tables came to $74. They left me 10. It was a table of 7, and I was running around for them. 15% would have been $11.50. The other Canadian table came to $20. They left me $2. And the Brits left $3 on $30. The Brits hurt the most, as they were very friendly, RAVED about the food, I gave them tourism advise, called them a cab, and we giggled about the difference between “American-style” fish and chips and “British-Style.” (breaded vs. battered, FYI.) As a result of these three tables, I didn’t even make 15% on my daily take. Plus, I spent a lot of time on them that I COULD have spent on my other tables, thereby potentially increasing my tips from them.
So here’s the question, non-American eaters: Is there any polite way to fight the ignorance of visiting furreners regarding tipping? I assume not. But if I was doing something as blatently rude as tipping 10% on (I don’t want to sound immodest here, but…) great service, I’d sure as hell want someone to straighten me out.
If you can't afford the tip then maybe you can go order the pizza in person and pay for it at the counter. I'm not rying to be a jerk I'm just saying what TyrC! would do.
As for the "Why can't they just pay a decent minium wage in stead or tipping argument"? Well by not doing that prices stay reasonable and in many cases a worker can make a GOOD wage instead of your decent minium wage.
TyrC!
I’ve got some experience with this, but i’ll be damned if i’m going to give it up on this board. I’d have the P.C. police after me with their torches and pitchforkes before I had a chance to preview.
You know, it’s funny. I used to wear this topaz band ring on my “wedding ring” finger, although I’m not married. The resteraunt I worked in had dim lighting, and when the lights hit the ring, it looked like a diamond wedding band. I had braces at the time, which made me look even a few more years younger than I normally do (I look really young, but aren’t old enough, 25, to enjoy it yet). That was when I got the best tips ever. I even experiemented with it, and went without the ring for a few shifts. My tips were never as good. I contiplated wearing a pillow in my shirt to see what that would do, but decided against it. 
I also waited tables in a very touristy town. We actually had little cards printed in a variety of languages, breifly explaining the tipping system in the States that we could bring out with the check. It was that bad of a problem. I never put them with the check though, I was always scared I’d offend someone. Every time I’ve traveled out of the country, i’ve made sure to read up on proper ettique, including tipping. A respectful thing to do when visiting someone else’s country, IMHO.:o
Wise move, lezlers. I, too, have opinions on this, and experiences to match…but this question is a loaded gun. Just ain’t gonna go there. Patterns do emerge, but what type of patterns they are is gonna remain a mystery to the Uninitiated.
As far as sexism goes…I’ll admit I have to work harder at charming money out of women. This isn’t a strike against women; just a fact. They’d rather have a cute guy behind the bar.
I’ll also admit that it’s fairly easy to get money out of a man. I’ll flirt with a group of guys at the bar; I ain’t gonna front. 
Most of 'em know it’s harmless, and part of my job. (NEVER if they have a woman with them, though. Oh, God. NEVER.) I’ll second Lezlers as well on the Money Shirt…I have two work shirts, both identical except that one’s a large and one’s a medium. (They’re babydoll T-shirts.) I swear I make more money in the medium, cuz it’s tighter.
I could get all outraged by this, and swear to high heaven that men are tipping me for my service and my wonderful conversation, but the fact is, men like looking at women. shrug If I get an extra buck because I’m having a good hair day and I have on a tighter shirt, I’m not gonna lose any sleep over it. The bar is a built-in “No Touch” zone, so it’s not like I’m risking being pinched or slapped on the butt.
I did have a guy once, when I was waitressing three years ago, who shoved a dollar down the front of my shirt, basically fondling my breasts. I was far too busy to talk to anyone that night, so I hadn’t even said a word to him beyond “Do you need another drink?” God, I was pissed.
Europeans don’t usually tip for shit. This isn’t a whine, it’s just a fact. They have a non-tipping culture and I’m aware of that, so I don’t really hold it against them. It’s just something I have to put up with, having decided to take a job in a tourist area. The only time Europeans tip a decent percentage is when they have an American with them, who explains the system. (Oh, pray for European tourists with American friends! :D)
And that’s as far as I’m gonna go on the topic of racism and sexism. If you’d like to know more, become really good friends with a waiter or bartender and get them drunk.
My lips are sealed.
A server at a certain day-of-the-week restaurant in Durham, NC could’ve used that advice.
Three years ago, the then-bf and I were at this restaurant having some dinner after shooting pool with his friends. The waitress started out really good, being friendly and on the ball with the stuff we ordered. After the appetizers, the bf and I were waiting for our dinners and he had his hand over mine on the table. The waitress came out to tell us that the French Onion soup was taking a little longer than expected, and she sat on my bf’s lap. He looked kind of shocked, I’m sure I looked kind of livid, and he said to her ‘Excuse me, but I don’t think my girlfriend appreciates you being on my lap.’ The waitress said ‘Who?’ and didn’t move. So I said ‘His girlfriend. Me. Over here.’
She did get off his lap at that point, made a snarky comment about how it’s ‘Not my fault your girlfriend is insecure’ and went back in the kitchen. We flagged down a hostess and got her to bring the manager out, to whom we explained that southern hospitality is nice, but sitting on a male customer’s lap when it’s obvious he is there with a lady is not nice. When Six’s bf pointed out that she did not move when he informed her that lap sitting was a problem, Mr. Manager started turning pink. He brought another server over, told us that we would be getting our dinner and drinks free, and apologized profusely. We insisted on paying for what we had ordered, tipped the second server very well, but the first one should consider her tip to be ‘Stay off of men’s laps when they are out with their women.’
If it were Hooters or someplace where it’s expected that the waitresses will be ‘extra friendly’ to the guys, I wouldn’t have cared. But at that particular place, it certainly wasn’t regular behavior, and was really, really unprofessional. Manager seemed to agree, and I sincerely hope he wasn’t paying lip service. It’s the only time a server never got a tip from me, and I should hope it’s the last time that happens.
LOL well I didn’t know any better when I started. It wasn’t until I heard the girls talking about going out of state to make “the big bucks” that I learned that $5 was low. Hell it seemed like good pay for 4 minutes of work to me!
(And they didn’t see my nekkid booty–it was topless only )
You got it dude!!! In a NUTSHELL.
And this REALLY shouldn’t be that hard to figure out,NOR should it be insulting to others…
UNLESS of course they are the sort who insist upon pretending not to “understand” tipping, or ARE just plain cheapskates who try to justify it by trying to lay blame on the servers (for being “greedy”) or the system (which is at LEAST somewhat more fair).
All the “naysayers” are trying to make it SOOO dang hard.
It’s simple (really):
1.) Good tippers get remembered and rewarded
2.) Poor tippers get remembered and put last in priority list for server.
(ps, for those who have consistantly complained "well what if the server screwed up,etc ,etc???, We have a right to tip badly THEN!!! Well, you SORTOF do,as we have all said,a BILLION times…(what’s wrong with bringing her screwup to her attention so she can FIX it for you???). If you get one who is consistantly bad,then yeah,she should be “told” in the form of a measly tip,that she needs to do better.
HOWEVER, servers aren’t stupid,they KNOW that if they are giving the same decent service, and ONE table severely undertips them,and CONSISTANTLY comes in to their station and undertips them, when they, the server, NORMALLY get decent and good tips from most of their other customers…
Well,HELLOOOO!! They KNOW you’re being cheap,Yeah,you’ll get away with it once,maybe three times,then,if you CONTINUE to go to the same place,you’ve got a rep,and in the server’s station, where he/she has five tables? Guess who is going to be last??? The person who constantly comes in and is a cheap or non-existant tipper.
last but not least, 3.)Even Adequate tippers get remembered and rewarded when they are regulars.
Well, I had a women go back and PICK UP the nice sized tip her boyfriend had left for me, this was after she’d stared daggers and snapped at me all night (the other three people at the table were cracking up at my banter,maybe she didn’t like that I was funny???).
Not sure WHAT got her wind up,as I was seven months preggers at the time and not exactly cute with it either.
As a server, I had the MOST trouble with (sorry, I am NOT trying to insult anyone here,honest), housewives.
Damn housewives and their snotnosed brats,they’d let the kids spill everything in sight,make the hugest mess,and tip next to nothing.
I had one lady and her friend get mad at me for taking the sugar and sweet and low packets that their toddlers were opening up and pouring on the table and then “fingerpainting” with!!!
When I saw this I politely picked up the little packet holder and all the packets and said, “oh, let me get this out of the way for you”.
Can you BELIEVE?? One of the “mommies” actually said,“HE was PLAYING with that”!!!
Sorry,hijack,but back to your question,I had MORE problems with women out with their men than any other “type” of customer. The problems ranged from snottiness to outright hostility.
Assuming I would be thrown into that “naysayers” group, allow me to speak for them:
As should be obvious in this thread, some people honestly do (or did) not understand all that is involved with tipping. I do not eat out on a regular basis, nor have I ever waited tables for a living. Consequently, I was unaware of the tax implications of tips, and wasn’t clear on the tipping etiquette regarding twofer deals and discounts and such.
No, I do not “sort of” have the right to tip badly if the service is bad; I absolutely have that right. There is no “sort of” to it. That’s the “entitlement” theory trying to raise its ugly head again.
Besides, in the cases that come to my mind regarding poor service, I have not seen the server in order to “bring her screwup to her attention so she can fix it.” I’m talking about situations where I sit in a relatively uncrowded restaurant for 30 minutes with nothing on my table but my glass of tea. At lunchtime. Since that was the only time I was in that restaurant (and hence couldn’t have been labelled a “bad tipper” beforehand), I think I’m justified in leaving a crappy tip or no tip. Had I seen the server at any point during that time, I surely would have inquired about the status of my order.
I suppose if I went to any establishment on a semi-regular schedule, this would apply to me. Since I don’t, it doesn’t. As much as it would help to be able to brand me as a habitually poor tipper who’s cheap and thus doesn’t get good service, the reverse is actually true. When I tip poorly (which is rare), it’s because the service was severely lacking – and, often as not, I won’t go back to that restaurant.
Well then Sauron,
looks like you’re not the type of customer that’s being discussed on this thread.
You’ve admitted to not knowing how the system works, but when you’ve been told you’ve accepted it. Therefore, I don’t think any of the servers or X servers on this thread have any beef with you.
I think the beef here is being directed towards those who ask for the system to be explained, and once it has been, proceed to disect the living daylights out of it, or claim to just not understand! even after it’s been explained backwards and forwards (Doreen i’m looking at you), or come and rant and rave about the system and how their rebel spirits just won’t. give. in. And then of course, there are those who are actually comparing calculating a tip with some sort of impossible to solve alegebraic equation.
Yeah, those are the people to which the “beef” lies…
So was ours. I wouldn’t show my shoulder for $5, though. hee hee.
Do I need to carry a bag of toys around to get foreign object free food?
BTW people who don’t see servers as human beings have bigger problems then being cheapskates.
Nope. You just have to be nice to your server. If things are slow realize that it’s not necessarily their fault.
For the record, I think if you get crap service, it’s perfectly ok to leave a less than steller tip. Heck, leave NO tip if the service is that bad.
It’s the screaming, yelling and condescending to wait-staff that I object to, and that will get crap put in your food. (NOT BY ME!!! ahem. :D)
No, (as the one who does carry around bags of toys), I don’t believe that it’s the toys that pushes it over the edge, and said so in my post. I believe that it’s the recognition of the server as a person, engaging them directly in conversation vs. treating them as a microphoned clown one uses to apprise the kitchen of ones’ order that makes the difference.
I say this fairly confidently, 'cause my baby bro, a traveling salesman who is sadly very mathmatically challenged always undertipped, until I bought a mini tip card for him. He always got good service 'cause, even tho he didn’t tip real well, he never cheaped out either (IOW, if he got a twofer coupon, he tipped based on the original price etc.), and was friendly and engaging w/ servers.
(aside to Canvasshoes - I’m a ‘dudette’ - not that it makes any difference here, but I didn’t want there to be misconceptions)
Well judging from your post, you AREN’T the type of bad tipper to which most of we ex-servers and servers are referring.
In fact, I find it a bit odd, and kind of amusing, that some people in this thread are getting SOOOO frothing at the mouth in defense of bad tippers, since those posters THEMSELVES don’t seem to be what we servers and ex-servers define as “bad tippers”.
Perhaps I missed it in the 80000 posts since the OP, but “bad tipper” WAS defined satisfactorily at some point, wasn’t it?
LOL,sorry, I am too, and because my screen name can get misconstrued as “masculine” (there’s a story behind it), I get mistaken as a dude too from time to time.
I like your style though re: your behaviour toward servers.
This is a bit off topic, but when I WAS server, I was just as likely to drop a customer to the very bottom of the priority list for “bad behaviour” as I was bad tiipping, no matter HOW great he/she tipped.
To my way of thinking? The way some people treat servers? NO amount of tipping is worth putting up with crap.
It probably was, but what rankled my hackles was the insinuations (or outright accusations) that I was a “cheap bastard” or somehow trying to stiff the server, when in at least one case (twofer coupons) I had no knowledge of the etiquette involved re: tipping. When I (and doreen) questioned the established practice on the grounds of logic, the answer we kept getting was, basically, “It’s just what you do!” Finally I was motivated enough to do a Web search on my own to get some sort of definitive answer on the topic. (Surely the servers and ex-servers involved can understand why I would appeal to a neutral third party to get information, since those with a vested interest in the question might not be the most reliable sources of information.)
Then, of course, there was the whole “entitlement” issue, which I think has been put to bed.