Don't write the lyrics, wrong the lyrics!

Cafe Society
1

Greetings, all – and, yes, I’m a new kid on this block.

I figured I’d submit a new thread for all players, and when I saw the song trivia thread I figured it was time to throw this one into the sandbox.

So, for a long time, there’s been a site called KissThisGuy.com which lists and ranks and lets people submit misheard lyrics. The fact is that the phenomenon has been around for eons, ever since music and lyrics were popularized and widely shared (q.v. “Rosie O’Day” or “A Kid’ll Eat Ivey, Too”). There’s even a relatively modern analysis of the phenomenon in Psychology Today that’s only a couple months old as of this posting. [A Bathroom on the Right? Misheard and Misremembered Song Lyrics | Psychology Today]

So the game/rules for you warblers are as follows:

  1. Try to keep it relatively clean, okay. That way more people can enjoy the thread.
  2. Pick a widely known mis-heard lyric or song title.
  3. You do NOT need to reinvent the entire song
  4. Show us the original lyrics so we know where you’re coming from
  5. Provide new lyrics that
    A) use the original rhythm
    B) use the mis-heard words
    C) STILL MAKE SENSE (at least within the new context)
  6. Sorry, but anyone named Yankovic may not participate. [Publish, produce, and sell it to us instead.]

You can make it funny…

Original: Purple Haze (Jimi Hendrix)

Purple Haze,
runs through my mind
Lately things
just don’t seem the same
Actin’ funny
But I don’t know why
‘SCUSE ME
WHILE I KISS THE SKY

Twist: Rainbow Days
‘Lotta gays
Run to my State
Lately Queens
Just don’t seem the same
Reaction’s funny
But I don’t know why
‘SCUSE ME
WHILE I KISS THIS GUY

Or it can be as mundane as a real estate listing

Original: Bad Moon Rising (CCR/John Fogerty)
I see thebad moon arising*.*
I see trouble on the way.
I see earthquakes and lightnin’.
I see bad times today.

Don’t go around tonight,
For it’s bound to take your life
THERE’S A BAD MOON ON THE RISE

Twist: Bathroom on the right
I see the living room is sunken.
I see a bedroom painted gray.
I see it’s got some recessed lightin’.
It’s in the New York Times today.

Don’t go out tonight,
The kitchen’s really nice
THERE’S A BATHROOM ON THE RIGHT

This is not the Great Debates forum, so try to keep the arguments on religion, politics, Apple versus PC, iPhone vs Android, etc. out of your efforts. [Yes, I know I cut pretty close with my first example.]

Okay: The microphone is now open….

2

This is one I misheard for years before reading the correct lyrics.

Gun 'n Roses: You Could Be Mine

With your bitch-slap rapping
and your coking tongue*

Actual lyrics:

With your bitch-slap rapping
and your cocaine tongue
*Coking, as in making coke (coal) in a 2000 degree baking furnace.

3

Here’s the link to the article:

4

My all-time favorite. The Beatles’ Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds:

Right:
“A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.”

Misheard:
“A girl with colitis goes by.”

5

When “Lovesong” by Amiel was in the charts, I used to amuse myself by imagining what a voice recognition system would make of her unintellible lyrics - that is, paying as little attention as possible to actually making sense, just to what the individual words sound like.

I ended up with

Thanks, you can cure the Ford
Now I’m no longer thin before
But that’s ok
I’m just lemonade
And other stupid lovesongs

6

Good entries, people-oids – and thanks for that link, Sam.

But the trick to this thread is recasting that portion of the song to make it actually fit.
Aspidistra came closest and panache–well, you’ve got panache! I’d love to see that rewritten.

7

Ok, you asked for it.

**Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds:

***Picture yourself in a boat on a river,
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green,
Towering over your head.
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes,
And she’s gone.
***Lucy in the John with Cramps:

***Picture yourself on the way to the bathroom,
With ten or twelve others, standing in line.
Somebody urgently runs to the bathroom,
A girl with colitis goes by.

Pushing ahead of the first one in line,
Urgently gripping the door,
She enters the bathroom and slams the door shut,
And she’s gone.
*

8

Wow - it’s like I’m right there in the bathroom with her, panache! :smiley:

9

Killer Queen by Queen:

**Real lyrics **(learned on these boards, so you know it’s correct): Gunpowder and gelatine

What I thought they were saying: Gunfighter agility

I like my version better.