My grandmother buys me wierd stuff for Christmas. This is fact. Every year, I return all of it. Every single bit. Then I buy what I want.
My parents always tell her “Thetis, if you would just buy them ONE THING from their list, and nothing else, they would be a whole lot happier than with your experiments.” But she doesn’t listen. Sweet lady, nonetheless
But I digress.
I went into JC Penny’s to return a watch that I had assumed had been bought there. It was a fairly expensive, if ugly, square gold watch, maroon leather band, gold clasp, black background, and diamond insert in the face. I opened the case, presented it to the clock-man, and said “I need to return this.”
“Huh. Not here, you don’t. We don’t sell… that… here. You might try Service Merchandise or Wal-Mart or something like that but we most assuredly don’t sell… that… here.”
Excuse me? Don’t you get snotty with me, clock-man. You stand behind your glass counter, and sell Seikos and stuff all day. You work in JC Penny’s, for Chrissakes! It’s not like this is Nordstroms, Sak’s 5th Avenue, Gucci, or something, somewhere with class, distinction, and reputation! It’s freakin JC Pennys! You have big fiberglass dinosaurs for the kids to play in!
What the hell?
–Tim
We are the children of the Eighties. We are not the first “lost generation” nor today’s lost generation; in fact, we think we know just where we stand - or are discovering it as we speak.
Ooooo, I love Nordstrom. They have the best shoe department, excellent service and good, quality constructed clothes.
In fact, if I have to go to Macy’s or Saks for something, I usually get pissed off at the mess, the service, the prices and the selection and end up leaving. Then on the weekend, I hop in my roommate’s car and make the special 45 minute drive to the Nordstrom’s on Long Island.
Let me get this straight. Are you upset with the clerk because of his attitude, or because he wouldn’t take back something the store doesn’t even sell?
If it’s the former, he’s probably holiday help and won’t even be there in another week or two after the rush is over.
That’s the snootiest a salesperson has ever treated you? That’s enough to get your goat? Good thing you live in the sticks, kid. You’d die in the city.
Jesus saves… Gretzky grabs the rebound… He Scores!
“Oh, you’re probably right! There’s absolutely no way that this watch could possibly have come from here…I’m off to Macy’s then! Thanks for your time!”
“Wednesday the 15th - Chris made one of her rare good points today.” Guanolad
"CLOCK-MAN…time’s running out for crooks! First he grabs you with his little hand, then he CLOBBERS you with the BIG hand! Fighting crime in Clocktropolis with his Pendulum of Power held high and his faithful sidekick Captain Cuckoo, he brings timely justice to the downtrodden. He can even soar through the air, because…y’know…time flies.
Clock-man and his gay sidekick BallWatch. He learned all his crime fightin’ techniques from dear old Grandfather Clock. Now they Face the scofflaws of Daylight Savings Time, The Cuckoo Clock and Alarm Boy. They jump in the Rolexmobile and prepare to restore lost time to the Citizens of Clocktropolis.
Easy one-step assembly instructions.
Pour Beer A in Uncle B.
Perhaps we could have him temporarily become a villain and steal all of the detergent in Clockopolis (because, y’know, time and tide wait for no man), before coming back from the dark side and busting up the bad guys good (because, you know, time wounds all heels).
That was one of the best laughs I’ve had in a long time, guys.
Thanks.
–Tim
We are the children of the Eighties. We are not the first “lost generation” nor today’s lost generation; in fact, we think we know just where we stand - or are discovering it as we speak.
“…Service Merchandise or Wal-Mart or something like that…”??? What the hell? Their customer service may suck but Service Merchandise sells some pretty expensive watches. I mean, they sell men’s Movado (?) watches that sell for like $1000-1500. Not that I reccommend buying anything from them but as far as jewelry goes, they sell some quality brands.
Born O.K. the first time…
If you are born again, do you have two belly-buttons?