Doorknobs

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
81

May I be the first to say:
SPOON!
That was a Tick joke. It’s funny, trust me.

You know, even though I grew up in Connecticut (Home of Lime Disease!) I’ve never hd a tick on me. I’d go out and play with my brother and he’d get 5 or 10 ticks on him, and I wouldn’t even have one. Now-a-days (I’ve never spelled now-a-days before. I don’t think I got it right.) I’d blame that on the drinking, heroin, and cocaine (welby, we should start a club), but back then I was a clean and sober 8 year old. Kind of weird, huh.

82

Well, I’m laughing! I loved that show!

83

The Tick had a sidekick, right? What was his name? I wish I had seen moe of this show (the cartoon), I really enjoyed it.

84

The Tick’s sidekick is Arthur, the moth man. His battle cry, I believe, is “Not in the face! Not in the face!”

I kind of like Die Fledermaus, even before I got the joke.

85

**I got the job!!! I got the job!!! I got a promotion!!! I got a promotion!!!

WOHOOOO! WOOOHOOOO! YIPPEEE!!! YIPPEEEE!!**

Can y’all tell I’m just a wee bit excited?

Just for Ex, I won’t talk about any decorating stuff…right now anyway!

I’m gonna go have me celebratory drink or three! :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

86

I think that if I ever got around to writing my autobiography I’d be stuck for a title. I have it narrowed down to three:

In Through The Door, Out Through The Window

-or-

They Said I Couldn’t Do It, And They Were Right

-or-

Don’t Touch The Rupture

What do you guys think?

87

Shoot, if I’d previewed, I could have added:

Other People Always Got The Job

Congratulations, Taters!

88

Congrats, Taters!!! <tossing confetti with wild and reckless abandon>

:smiley:

Ex - how about My Unrequited Adoration of FairyChatMom?? :wink:

89

Considered and rejected. That sort of thing could turn it into a posthumous autobiography.

90

woowoo, congrats Taters!!! (which job was that again?).

dwyr, you should also note that without the wings up, Arthur could easily be mistaken as some sort of fuzzy-bunny man. Kallessa, you loved the cartoon? What about the live-action series, or the comic, the comic was endless fun, and so many elements from the comic didn’t or couldn’t make it into the tv serieses. Read the comics, post haste! (uh oh, I’ll have Fenris in here shortly).

Tuppy hmmmm… how fast? Um… pretty fast, and with mostly two fingers too. I know I type faster than a lot of folks who ‘can’ type. Er… why do you ask?

Ms Ellen, my apologies, and thank ye for the explanation of the MMP becoming a TMP. These are things you miss when you’re waaaaaay over here (picture Grover doing the ‘near’ … ‘far’ bit on Sesame street. and now let’s all sing, ‘1, 2, 3, 4- 5, 6, 7, 8, 9-10, 11-12!’ and watch the funky pinball animation! WOOWOO!). oh, ok, that’s why tuppy wants to know how fast I type…

Oh, and if you enjoyed the vampire bits, I can regale you with tales of the Malay monsters and stuff. My favourite is the Pontianak, which is kind’ve like a zombie, but with teleport powers. The Pontianak is risen and controlled by a Bomoh, which is like a witch-doctor, in that classic sense, but that description doesn’t really do him justice, there’s a lot of other shades to it. And a lot of Bomoh are apparently evil. Not just bad, like taking the newspaper from your front lawn, but EVIL, like they’ll take the newspaper and read it and mix up all the sections and then put it back and you’ll wonder why the comics are on the front page (not that I’d see that as a bad thing, I think a lot of newspapers could be improved by having comics on the front page, but I’m rambling). And so, like I said, the Bomoh is EVIL!!! and He’ll raise a Pontianak for someone so that someone can get revenge on someone else. And it’s all terribly scary and in black and white, (cos the movies about this tend to be old). But people are still terrified of this stuff, and I’m not even allowed to say the word ‘Pontianak’ in my house, cos my wife gets scared! REALLY SCARED!!! AIIYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! (Camera zooms in fast on screaming mouth, fade to black).

And in the next lesson, I’ll talk about the Toyol! Woo, that one really is kinda scary in concept and execution! Get it, EXECUTION!!!
><><cue scary, but exotic, music><><

But I can’t link the Pontianak and the Bomoh back into Feng Shui, cos they’re different cultures. But lots of folks that believe in Feng Shui, and Chinese Vampires also beleive in Pontianaks and Bomoh and stuff. >shudder by proxy<

This has been a fine friday* lesson from lands far, far away.

*(see, I really am in the future)

91

What did he say?

Sheee-it, dangergene, sit down on the couch and take a deep breath or something?

Just damn. I gathered that there was some discussion of Malay mythology in there somewhere, which is cool and not in the least bit candy-assed or unmanly, but …

Damn, I need and interpreter here, guy.

92

Well, this isn’t scary mythology, but it has a local focus, so I’m throwing it in.

Once, the world contained nothing but the plants and trees. In the lands of the Congo, the God Bumba appeared magically. He saw the newly created world, and saw that is was good. But still, he felt it lacked something. He decided to create the animals of the water, the earth and the air. This Bumba did by vomiting up nine creatures which ecame the anscetors of all the fish, birds, reptiles and mammals. He saw that these were a good creation, but still, they lacked some special quaility. Bumba vomited once more, this time creating creatures with only two legs, but with powers akin to his own, that he had denied to his earlier creations.

Bumba gave strict rules to all of his creations, including the last ones, the two legged ones. All followed his rules and life was good. But one creature, the female Tsetse Bumba, refused to obey them at all! Bumba could have destroyed her, but instead, banished her from the earth to the sky. There he allows her to live, because she caused the first lightning which brought fire to mankind.
Who knew we had a god among us?

93

Heck, I intended to congratulate taters and I went and posted and didn’t say a thing to her about her

GREAT NEW JOB!!!

Well then. Do you realize the Chocolate Creme Oreos are also Double Stuff Oreos? Maybe only stuff and a half, I don’t have a package of Double Stuff Oreos to do a comparison, but I do have in my possesion both a package of regular Oreos (to go with ice cream) and a package of Chocolate Creme Oreos (which go with milk)*. (It is not my fault I have two packages at the same time–the store was having a buy one, et one free sale–think of the money I saved!) In looking at cookies from each type, it is clear that the Cocolae Creme Oreos have more filling than regular Oreos, although I cannot say with certainty that it is twice as much creme.

Perhaps some of our more scientific types would volunteer to do some testing to see if the Chocolate Creme Oreos are in truth an unadvertised Double Stuff Chocolate Creme Oreos, or merely some lesser amount?

Okay, you’re right. Both go with both milk and ice cream in theory. But, the balance of flavor, subtle as it might be, of a regular Oreo cookie frosted with chocolate ice cream and eaten only after the ice cream is mostly melted, has a certain sophistication that the overwhelming chololate-ness of chocolate creme Oreos buried in chocolate ice cream does not. The vanilla creme adds a piquancy and so enhances the chocolate flavors.

Now with strawberry ice cream . . .

94

No problem!

Setting the state of mind:

Obviously on some sort of hallucinogenic, probably peyote.

Analysis:

General congratulations, not really heartfelt, it is doubtful the subject even knows what a job is, and obviously has no clue which job Kalessa was after. Note that her post says it was a promotions, but our drug addled subject fails to comprehend.

The peyote begins to kick in, and the mind begins flashing back to fond memories of youth. Note the lack of organization, and the run on sentence. The cartoon inspires even more flashbacks, revealing that dangerene was/is a couch potato.

The peyote, now mixed with speed, increases the typing rate of the seriously impaired dangerene

Half hearted apology, dangerene is obviously angry that Ellen has called him out, so he takes revenge. Childhood flashbacks bring for the counting song from Sesame Street, which everyone knows is an Evil Song that can become stuck in the head of the unwitting victim, causing paranoia and eventual insanity.

The hallucinations have really taken off, and dangerene has descended into a stinking pit of psychosis. Not the evident paranoia concerning monsters, vampires, and his wife. Weak attempt to deflect the feelings of horror one gets when reading this post by pointing out that he’s “rambling.” At this point he’s talking faster than an 8 year old on a sugar high.

Hallucinations give way to the sick ego trip. Dangerene now imagines himself a “teacher,” and threatens the reader with death.

The mix of drugs has become toxic, and begins to poison the mind, which is evidenced by the cross-culture monster dreams. The body is given to involuntary shudders.

Time has speeded up for our little dope fiend, who thinks that he has traveled into the future by overloading his poor, damaged brain with drugs. Zeno’s paradox sends his poor mind into fits of psychosis, since he doesn’t understand how he could have gone into the future if he cannot move.
You’re ever so welcome, Ex. :smiley:

95

So, does Welby’s post mean that Dangergene is really Hunter S. Thompson? I mean, I can see a similarity, but I think Dangergene is marginally more coherent. Not much, mind you, but a little. Or maybe it’s just me. It is bat country out here.

96

I knew we kept you around for a reason, buddy.

97

Thanks Ex. If there’s one thing I can do, it is unravel drug induced psychosis.

Just noticed by glaring error though. Jeez, I’m an idiot. Once again science stubles due to lack of diligence.

98

Sometimes it even stumbles.

I’m going back to bed.

99

Taters WOO HOO!!! Congrats on the new job/promotion/more money thing. You Go Girl!!!

dangergene YaY! You’re back! Great burly story. I used to have “Can’t Stop the Music” but it got lost somewhere along the way during several moves. The weight lifting guy is more the brawny type so it even has something for our Kalley. Maybe she’ll go out and find a copy just so she can give us her opinion. Don’t worry about missing out on the boys who like boys stuff. We gots room for everybody round here. I wanna see a Chinese vampire movie real bad now. It sounds so jake. I don’t know from Feng Shui. As long as I don’t bump my toes or knees on the furniture I figure it’s all arranged proper and right.

FCM are you surprised that you’d actually have taste so refined that it would find validation in the fact that an actual for real gay man has a kitchen just (well almost just) like it? :smiley:

We had excitement at work yesterday. That’s why I didn’t post all day. I couldn’t. See, early yesterday morning we had a big 'lectrical storm. Scary. It woke me up. Well, apparently lightning struck a transformer at work and knocked out part of the power in our front building. It was weird (thanks lightingtool. Hall lights wouldn’t come on but office lights would. In one area, the lights came on in the bathroom but not in the kitchen next to the bathroom. Lights would be on in one room but not the next. Anyhoo… about an hour later there was a big KA - BOOM!!! and all the lights, phones, puter server, AC and everything went out in the front building. So, we had no lights, phones or puters (well, email and internet). I am in our back building (I love it. I can hide.) which had 'lectricity cause we gots our own transformer. We had lights and ac but no phone (cause the phone system is all tied together and the switchboard is up front) or email/internet access (the server is in the front building). So I couldn’t post. But I worked. Folks in the front building went home cause they couldn’t do nothing. We stayed in the back building though cause we didn’t have that excuse. That was ok. Everybody had to take leave time to go home. A couple folks from “up there” came back here and did stuff cause they didn’t wanna take leave. We ended up having fun. We ordered pizza for lunch and I went and got ice cream for everybody in the afternoon. We “worked” some but mostly we goofed cause well, we could and it was just that kinda day. Today we’re behaving and working.

-swampbear (the head power guy was burly and kept coming in to talk to me. WOOF!)

100

What? Nobody cares that I found a God named Bumba? Fine, I’ll just call a halt to my research in findings God with names similar to the darlin’s that post here. See if I don’t!

welby, that would indeed be a masterful analysys of friend dangergene if** he were an American. But he’s not. He’s foreign. I think he’s Australian, but he lives in Singapore. Or perhaps the third moon of Jupiter. Either way, he’s not from around here, and that makes it unlikely that he would have access to peyote as the mescal catii is native to the souwest U.S. and Mexico. Not Jupiter. It is possible that some local hallucogenic is being employed, but we can’t know that, and without a mind-altering susbstance and his being produced by the same cultural norms as us Americans (Sesame Street notwithstanding), your analysis falls apart.

Besides, dangergene has always made sense to me. You all must just read him funny.