The scene: a public restroom, with five urinals lined up on a wall. Urinal 1 is closest to the door; Urinal 5 is farthest from the door.
You walk in. There is no one else in the restroom. What urinal do you select – 5, right? Because it’s farthest from the door and even if the bathroom fills up, you’ll only have a guy on one side of you.
A second man walks in; he selects urinal 1, right? The farthest he can get from the other guy in the bathroom. The third guy splits the difference and goes to urinal 3. So the only time two guys would select adjoining urinals is when they have no choice, right?
So if a guy tells a story about how he was alone in a restroom, and then another guy came in and he looked over and saw it was [insert name of minor Hollywood celeb], he’s fabricating.
It’s not necessarily the case that the second man will choose urinal 1. He will sometimes choose Urinal 2, since that puts him at a safe distance from Urinal 5, but isn’t too obvious about it.
I would have taken the urinal closest to the door. If I’m in a hurry, I’ll take urinal 2, and ignore the urinal ettiquette, like after a long movie. When I was younger, I used to ignaor the urinal ettiquette on purpose, and sidle up right next to the only guy in the room, because it made people uncomfortable and I enjoyed that. Generally, though, the rule is to keep a urinal between you and the guy next to you, if possible. You don’t have to be as far away as possible.
Incidentally, if there are three urinals and Monty Hall is already using one, what is the likelihood…
Empty restroom, five urinals – I’ll take urinal 3, right in the middle. I like to have room to stretch.
One urinal in use, I’ll take the urinal farthest away from it. Any more than one in use, it’s random chance.
Why couldn’t I tell there’s a Hollywood star using the facilities? How many urinals have dividers? And of those that have dividers, how many of them are so high that you can’t see the other users’ faces?
I put no conscious thought in urinal selection. I do generally avoid the first urinal but would pick 3, 4, or 5 if I were the only occupant and if I were the second man (and the first picked 5), I expect I’d go for 2 or 3.
I think you’ve got the general idea. I wouldn’t go for #5 if I’m alone - there’s no point in walking that far. I’d probably settle for 2 or 3. The one issue you’ve potentially neglected, though I don’t know if everybody cares or if it’s just me, is “did the last guy who used the urinal remember to flush?” I avoid unflushed urinals and toilets.
Yeah, more often than not if 1, 3, and 5 are in use, the next guy who comes in chooses a stall. Only if 1, 3, 5 and all the stalls are being used, does someone go use 2 or 4.
I don’t get the celebrity angle though. Even if a celebrity doesn’t come stand in the urinal next to you, you might recognize them when you’re zipping up and turning around to go to the sink.
I don’t use urinals. Ever. If I enter a bathroom and the stalls are all occupied, I’ll just turn around and leave. I’m not quite sure why, but I absolutely cannot use a urinal. It’s just not an option.
I was going on the assumption that the story teller said something like "So I look over and the person standing next to me is random celebrity*. However, I might say that even if I was at urinal 5 and he was at urinal 3 or 1 with no one else between. Not literally “at the urinal right next to me” but the next occupied one.
*was it Tom Green?
When you’re as well-endowed as I, even if you’re tall, you have to worry about hitting the bottom (that water’s cold, man!), so I take the low, children’s urinal when available.
That’s funny but really it’s taking it way too seriously. Etiquette is nice and all, but if you gotta go, you gotta go and if you don’t you don’t belong in the men’s room in the first place. I mean what would this guy do in a sports stadium with the trough or dish* style urinals?
A friend of mine actually scored one of these for free. Through a bit of plumbing that was more clever than wise, he turned it into a shower. It required a small stepladder, but it was a shower.
