To all you guys out there:
If you enter a public bathroom at the same time as another man, and both line up at the urinals at the same time, do you:
(A) Completely ignore the other fellow
(B) Listen to him whizzing, and try to finish after him (to feel like you’ve gotten the “last word” in, or that you had a bigger load to lose)
© Listen to him whizzing, and try to finish before him (to feel like you’ve won a race)
(D) Other (please describe)
(a) It’s just me, the urinal, and relief. Might notice, though, if he doesn’t wash up.
(D) I don’t go to the other urinal at all and instead line up behind him and wait. When he turns around, I say “that one’s my favorite.”
If there’s only one wash basin I’ll try to finish as soon as possible, so that I don’t have to wait behind the other guy. Other than that I’ll completely ignore him.
I can’t say I’ve conciously listened to another guy whizzing.
This game has some pretty good rules concerning urinal etiquite, however.
Most likely, I’d just ignore the bloke.
Although, one time, I was at a bar where you could see into the sink part, and the urinals were just out of view. The guy next to me looks over, and says “Let’s show the gals looking in here our cocks.” I was pretty hammered, and he counted to three, and zipped up his pants. Just as I turned, with myself exposed, another bloke walked in. “What the **** are you doing? Get the **** out of here!” I felt pretty dumb right about then. But it was still funny.
As for me, the OPer, it’s either (B) or ©, depending on whether or not I finish first. I don’t mind adjusting the goal to fit the result, you see.
“Victory is mine!”
A is actually the only acceptable answer besides Other (some circumstances). Other depends on how full the bathroom is. If there are only two urinals right next to each other open then you choose A. If there are other options then there are spacing issues to take into account. There is actually an internet quiz with illustrations to test your grasp of this but the biggest no-no is to move right in next to the other guy when you don’t have to.
If one of you has to take a stall, then so be it. If there are lots of urinals available, then you need to be spaced as far away as possible if you are the only two there (if you aren’t the only two there, why are you focusing on him?) If there are several people around, your DNA should be able to tell you the optimal setup instantly. The test should be able to tell you if you have a learning disability in this area.
Sorry :smack: I missed your game link but it should be taken literally. Getting into a pissing contest with an unknowing stranger is the height of poor etiquette and only God knows why you are thinking that way to begin with.
Pish posh. You don’t have to be next door neighbors to hear the hose running, so to speak.
I’ve seen that “quiz” before, and yes, instinctively picked all the “right” urinals 
Doing stuff like that can be hazardous to your health. Symptoms may include a black eye and/or split lip.
Don’t you keep mental track of whether or not you beat other drivers at the stop lights (first off or last through), or of whether or not you’ve picked the fastest lane at the supermarket checkout or toll plaza? It’s the same sort of thing to me.
Am I just some sort of hyper-competitive freak? I assumed most guys were like this.
(A), unless I’m at work, in which case it’s (D) Strike up a conversation. Talking while whizzing is part of the culture here at my company.
I stand way back. 
So you guys don’t compare penis size and stuff?
And stuff? What exactly are you getting at?
Never, never by looking; that really could result in a black eye. Stare straight ahead.
Nah. What puts you at risk is saying, “I like to watch”.
Isn’t that distracting? Maybe that is the source of your mud puddle. 
A for me. But you do hear. Sometimes I’m in a stall and wonder if some guy hasn’t whizzed for a week.
I agree that thing to do is look for spacing first. If a side-by-side is unavoidable, though, you look straight ahead without acknowledging the other person. That’s if the guy is a stranger. If it’s someone you know well, a brief “guy nod” or “What’s up” may be acceptable. The important thing is not to ever look below eye level. Looking down is the cardinal sin of men’s room ettiquette.
If I might commit a slight hijack…please fight my feminine urinal ignorance. In The Urinal Game, why is taking the urinal closest to the door okay on problem three, but taking the urinal furthest from the door NOT okay on problem six?