Absolutely not. Any acknowledgement that another man even HAS genitals is considered proof of homosexuality.
I usually ignore the other guy, and I don’t get into contests. My urologist said I have the biggest bladder in the county, anyway.
If the other guy is somebody I know, we might say, “Hi, howya doin’,” and some guys get into the ritual recitation of urinal jokes:
“Is this where the dicks hang out?”
“Oo, this water’s cold!” (implying it’s long enough to hang in the water.)
(The usual reply,) “Yeah, and deep, too!”
It seems to me, though, if you really want to trump his ace, you say,
“Not very deep, though. I think there gravel in the bottom of this one.” 
A for sure, unless he talks to me. If he does, I’ll mutter something short and trite like “yup…” trying to give the impression that I don’t want to speak while taking a leak. After we’re done, we can chat about the weather or other topics, but not while in the act.
That is a joke. The “answer” says to turn around and walk out. Really, if you have to go, you have to go, and it’s okay to do so next to someone. Even one of the black guys.
[Elaine Bemis of Seinfeld]Honestly, I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.[/EB]
Why, if there’s a guy already at a urinal (even if there’s more than two of them to choose from), don’t you just use a stall? Then you don’t have to worry about getting beaten up… and your eyes are free to roam and read the graffitti!
You take the urinal closest to the door because it is the nearest one. Why walk all the way to the farthest one unless you wanted to be whizzing next to that particular guy?
We joke about not wanting to be near another guy peeing, but we really don’t care that much, unless he’s so drunk he’s swaying.
A stall? We are not animals!
A) All the way. No eye contact, no conversation, not communication period in the men’s room.
I’m sorry, what?! :eek:
I don’t view urinating as a social event. I ignore the other guy.
I hate using the restroom at work, and I’ll only use it if the room is empty when I arrive. If I walk in and somebody’s at a urinal or in a stall, I’ll simply go to the sink and quickly wash my hands, as if that were my intention for entering the restroom. I can always try again a few minutes later.
On occasion I’ll walk into an empty restroom, only to be joined by a coworker a few moments later. Very unpleasant. Nobody’s ever tried to talk to me while I’m at the urinal, although I’ve had a few conversations with folks if we both happen to be at the sink (I believe this is the only acceptable occasion for conversaion in a public restroom).
I didn’t quite get that either. I picked the door for #3, and it told me I couldn’t do that. I figured I couldn’t do it on #6, either.
Anyhow, my answer here is (A). I don’t want to have a conversation while I’m urinating. A guy did that to me at church once, where the men’s room has two urinals (with divider between) and a stall. As I was there first he really should have taken the stall, but he took the open urinal instead. And then attempted to start a conversation by asking questions that required more than simple one-word answers (and I did my damnedest to give him one-word answers). Worst of all, he was one of those people who cannot speak without looking at the other person, so he’s standing a foot away from me and looking at me while I’m trying to piss … I ended up standing there for another minute after he left attempting to regain the relaxation required for urination, because I didn’t release a drop while he was yammering.
The only person I’ll converse with in the men’s room is my best friend. But even then, we piss with the most possible distance between us and look straight ahead
I wonder why they don’t make little privacy walls or half-walls between the urinals?
I think he knew the girls, and was trying to mess with em. I thought he was going to do it too. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I was 21, and it was one of the first times I’d been to a bar. I probably shouldn’t be telling stories about myself when I’m doped up on pain meds!
They do, but they’re not ubiquitous.
Yes… we do.
One early morning after a hard night of partying, I woke up with the mother of all piss hard-ons. I also hard to go very badly. The best I could manage was an uncontrollable trickle like one of those kids yard toys that sprays when you turn on the hose but doesn’t work worth a damn when the water pressure is too low. I just leaned up against the wall and waited and waited to be done. I can’t say exactly how long it took to the second but it was close to 5 minutes total. I just use that as an image of my personal best so there is no need to challenge the unsuspecting.
Peeing faster than someone else just isn’t a good game even in theory because you have no idea whose bladder was holding the most at the start and I doubt both of you started at the same time. It is a little creepy to sit their idling at the urinal waiting for a competitor to show up. You should at least give them some warning by sticking your index finger up in the air and making circles. A nod means that they are in.
A) Ignore the guy. I’m busy at that moment, and so is he. I need my privacy; if the bathroom is crowded, I’ll gladly use a stall rather than stand shoulder-to-shoulder with three or four other guys while taking a wizz.
(D) Look for a stall, or walk out
I’m not risking a freeze up at the urinal - standing there with your dick out and not being able to pee is hugely embarrassing, and should be avoided at all costs.
Si
d) Finish after him, because I won’t actually be able to go until after the other guy is gone.
Piss, wash my hands and leave. I couldn’t care less about what anyone else is doing and it wouldn’t occur to me to think about it. Are people really thinking about stuff like this all day?
Sure, we probably all do the fastest lane thing, who’s got the smallest phone, the latest toy, first off the line if it’s anything close to a race, etc but who can pee faster? It’s not like you’re starting from the same base with a pistol shot or anything.
sheesh, first I’ve ever heard of a contest to pee faster. Do you ever like pinch it off in mid-flow to “win” or dribble the final bit’s to “win”? I’m just saying thas totally fucked up.