A. I honestly don’t care who pees longer. I just want to do the business and get the heck out of there.
In my builiding, the main restroom has 3 urinals, all in a row. There is one doofus who insists on always taking the middle urinal, even if he is the first to arrive. This is such a breach of urinal etiquette that I have resolved to use the stalls in that restroom rather than the urinals. He ain’t getting no cheap thrills from me.
What about shy bladders? Does level of proximity to the other peer make a difference?
Well, I admitted that I usually adjust the goal of the contest (in my mind) to fit whichever scenario I happened to “win” at. So it’s mostly for my own amusement and not as “serious” as the stoplight thing. But at the same time, I do actually pay some level of attention to my “rival’s” whizzing as a benchmark. Like I said in the title… TMI.
It all started when I was just a wee lad (ba-dum-bum). I had a friend who would weigh himself on his bathroom scale before and after taking a dump, and time the length (in time) of his whizzing. I got caught up with it for a while, and at some level the whiz-timing thing must have stuck with me.
I guess D.
I go in and pee. If I know the guy I’ll say hi. I don’t care who finishes first.
(I really wanted to say that I’d offer to hold for the other guy, but that would be wrong)
The only correct answer: a
No eye contact, no looking down.
For the dire consequencies of not following correct Male Restroom Etiquette this is a must see.
Now, what do you do in the following situation?
(Not completely work safe, cut and paste: youtube dot com/watch?v=pZKlWzqnILU)
Ditto.
Stage fright.
It has been interesting to see the answers from a jury of our peers.
I don’t know, you tell me…so far the thread hasn’t delivered on the TMI promise 
You’re going to be disappointed in that regard. There really isn’t any TMI material too be had. Men’s rooms are not social forums. Men don’t go in pairs or groups. There’s very little chit chat (usually avoiding even the acknowledgement that anyone else is in the room) and all ettiquette and behavior is studiously, single-mindedly designed to avoid even a hint of homoeroticism.
I’m strictly an A) Completely ignore the other fellow.
However I’ve encountered:
D) read a book. With both hands.
D) upon finishing, turn around and display your schwanz to the guys in line.
What, you’re flashing the business to strange women on the say-so of stangers, and now you’re shy all of a sudden? :dubious:
Eyes FRONT!
No Talking!
You finish, give a shake, look down, slap the dog once or twice, put it away, and wash your hands.
ONLY then can you even acknowledge the other guy, but then it’s only done if you actually know who he is. Nobody says hi or 'sup.
e) I just pee! I attempt to go to the first urinal I see. If there are many, and someone is right next to the first one I see, then I’ll skip a urinal and go to the next one (hey that HAS to be a universal rule). If I know the person I might chit chat, or not.
However I am reminded of this hiarious video.
All you need to know about Men’s Restroom Etiquette. NSFW.
Dang. I flunked that test. 
For me, it’s A. It never ever occurred to me to monitor my neighbor’s evacuation procedures.
Ok, now we’re getting somewhere. I thought a shake was sufficient; what’s with the slapping of the dog?
An optional adjunct to the shake which involves tapping it lightly with the fingers.
It’s pretty much agreed though that if the guy next to you starts talking to you, you may turn to face him and piss on his shoes, right? Right?
As was said before, those are made, but it seems like they’re less common than they used to be.
I pee in whatever length of time it takes me, but I have noticed that if I’m peeing and somebody walks into the bathroom during, I try to finish up pretty soon so they don’t think I’ve been standing there holding my dick for 5 minutes…