Oh, I’ve already found another one. “No-Parents-Allowed” Dentist couldn’t get her in until June! Parents-Welcome Dentist will see her Monday. 
Good! Sure, most of the time such a policy doesn’t indicate anything malicious, but why take any chances? I feel parents should at least have the opportunity to see how he behaves with their children - honestly it’s no wonder so many people end up being phobic about dentists.
Oh, good! I would absolutely not go to a no-parents-allowed doctor of any type. A no-parents-allowed professional of any type, actually, with the possible exception of a psychotherapist. I’d be more concerned about the type of treatment **Cyros **suffered than any sexual misconduct. Not everyone is cut out to work with kids. I can understand that rooms are small, freaking out parents freak out their kids, etc. Tell me you’d *prefer *I didn’t go back and why, and I’ll proabably respect that preference. But tell me I can’t go back? Sorry, then neither can my kid. Buh-bye - have a nice day.
How old is the kid? At around fourteen or so, my doctor stopped allowing parents in the exam room- mostly so that the kid feels free to say stuff like “I think I’m pregnant” or “my father hits me” or “I smoke- will this affect the medication I’m taking” that they might not otherwise say.
Neither of my kids has had a cavity yet so I don’t know how that would work, but during regular check-ups before school age I’ve always been expected to come join the fun. They have chairs for parents to sit in over in the corner of each examining room. After my older son started school, the dentist has asked him whether he’d like Mom in the room or not.
At the orthodontist’s office, parents are asked to come in for the first visit and sit in the waiting room after that. So flodjunior goes into the exam room alone and the ortho calls me in if he needs to say something to me. I must say it has never crossed my mind that anything remotely suspicious could be going on back there. Of course, there are two orthos who work with just a screen in between them, and two dental hygeinists circulating around. They’d all have to be in on the conspiracy 
My dentist is pretty practical about this. When my son went in there (he’s seven), she wanted my in there or not depending on which would make it easier for him. First we tried it with my being present, but he was very anxious, so the dentist suggested I leave “because a lot of kids are better without mum or dad around”. She was right.
In my own childhood, I was always in there alone. Seemed normal to me at the time.
My son’s orthodonist didn’t have rooms, but a big wide area with three or four “stations” set up. So he was never alone with the orthodontist.
The dentist has rooms, but the doors are removed and they open up on the main hallway, so again, no restriction there.
I think it depends on the age of the child. By all means, ask your child how it went with the dentist and if there’s anything hinky, look into it.
Cyros, I’m so sorry about what happened to you. Did you tell your parents?
I think it’s weird. I can come up with some reasons why the dentist would prefer working without the parent there – maybe he feels it’s less distracting for him and/or the child – but to have a rule saying you cannot be there is weird. The dentist should at least understand that people may want to be there with their child, and the dentist should be interested in making his patients (and parents) as comfortable as possible.
If it were me, I’d go to another dentist, just because it seems like he doesn’t have any understanding of other people’s feelings.
My six-year-old’s pediatric dentist doesn’t even have doors on the exam rooms and has chairs specifically for the parents.
I’m 34 and I don’t really remember my dentist appointments when I was young, but I know by the time I was 12 or so, I was going in by myself. My orthodontist had a large room with lots of chairs rather than individual rooms.
I would absolutely not let my child alone with a dentist that insisted on not having parents in the room. There’s no reason for it and you are your child’s advocate, it’s your job to protect them. You can’t trust someone just because they have a degree.
She’s 4.
4? Then hell, you need to go in with her, if only to keep her from getting scared by the stranger with the sharp instruments.
I’m glad you found another dentist. You might want to tell Clueless Dentist why you took your business elsewhere.
My mom usually took my sister and I to the dentist. All three of us would be in the room for the duration. The hygenist and my mother liked to chat, and therefore the cleaning took longer than it was supposed to. The dentist would only come in at the end to check a few things.
I probably will. I may not tell them verbally, but write a Very Nice Letter telling them that I am sure they have good reasons to not let parents back there, but they scared me off.
Clueless dentist? That’s in the eye of the beholder, I guess. But it suggests that the pediatric dentist doesn’t understand the issue. I’m be willing to bet that a pediatric dentist has thought of it, and has a reason for it. Maybe you don’t agree with the reason, but that’s a different situation than a dentist being “clueless.”
Also, IME hygeinists and dentists who work with children do a very good job introducing themselves, and explaining “sharp instruments” to small children.
This must vary, but where I live it appears to be standard practice at pediatric dentists for kids to go in, alone, and leave their parents in the exam room. When my son was very tiny, I sometimes went back to the exam room but as soon as he was settled, I left. I was told it was their belief and experience that the whole thing generally goes better without the parents there.
I’ve got a kid with more dental problems than you could shake a stick at, so we’ve seen several pediatric dentists and had fretful conversations with parents who have gone through similar things. I confess I was surprised at the policy when I was new to it, but I’ve come to understand it, and respectfully comply. For some difficult things I was actually glad I wasn’t in there, more for what I would be feeling. Rather than being the parent in the corner who couldn’t help him when he was uncertain, I could be the rescuer in the waiting room who gave him a big hug when he came out.
What’s remarkable to me is that even after having loads of procedures, my son doesn’t mind going to the dentist.
I was a very timid, shy little girl and I did tell my mother I didn’t like the dentist and beg not to go, but she didn’t realize why for quite a while. I had to see him multiple times because he kept inventing work that needed to be done, and each time, it became a little more difficult to get me to go. Eventually, I told her the dentist was “mean”, but even then it was a while before details came out.
I hope I remember my experience when my child is young so that I know to probe a bit deeper and ask questions.
When I was very little, the dentist let me sit on my mom’s lap while she was getting her teeth done so that when I started going I’d be used to it. Afterwards I’d always be in the examination room alone with the dentist, and afterwards she’d explain to my mom what she’d found and give me stuff.