Higgledy piggledy,
Haikus are simply the
Poems that require the least
Effort to write.
So I propose a test:
Witness my grand behest!
A Double-dactylic
Poetry fight!
Higgledy Piggledy,
Frankly it seems to me
Most folks know in what form
These poems come.
If you don’t know this, then
Quite simply check this scan:
Dum-da-da-Dum-da-da
Dum-da-da-Dum.
Here’s a few samples to get the ball rolling. (I didn’t write these.)
Higgeldy piggeldy,
President Jefferson
Gave up the ghost on the
Fourth of July.
So did John Adams, which
Shows that such patriots
Propagandistically
Know how to die.
Higgamus Hoggamus
“Anton Von Leewenhoek
Has a small problem,” con-
Fided his wife.
“Microbiology
Doesn’t disturb me; his
Microanatomy’s
Blighting my life!”
Higgelvich Piggelvich
Anna Karenina
Russian romanticist
cracked under strain:
impetuosity
caused her to tragically,
melodramatically
catch the next train.
And one of mine: this will only make sense to those who follow Canadian political scandals.
Peppergate Peppergate,
APEC notes demonstrate
Parliament Hill is the
Party at fault;
Still, the PM and Sol-
Icitor General
Claim they’re not guilty of
Pepper assault.
(Of course I wrote this in 1997 or 1998, when Andy Scott was still the Solicitor General.)
Higgledy Piggledy,
Random and Gaudere
Wrote lots of poems a-
Musing and quaint,
Sparkling and witty and
They made me laugh, although
True double dactyls they
Certainly ain’t.
let’s get topical!
Higgledy Piggledy,
Breaking up Microsoft
Is what poor Billy Gates
Now has to fear.
Looks like he’ll only make
Hundreds of millions, not
Ten to the power of
Twelve every year.
Higgledy Piggledy,
Adrienne Clarkson’s our
Governor General
In Rideau Hall.
If you don’t think she’s in-
Sightful politically,
Hey, she is married to
John Ralston Saul.
These aren’t original; just old ones from my bag o’ tricks:
Tiddely Quiddely
Edward M. Kennedy
Quite unaccountably
Drove in a stream.
Pleas of amnesia
Incomprehensible
Possibly shattered
Political dream.
Chivalry, Schmivalry!
Roger the thief has a
method he uses for
sneaky attacks:
Folks who are reading are
Characteristically
Always forgetting to
Guard their own bac …
Jimminy Crimminy!
How could a dactyl be
So entertaining when
Nobody’s posting them?
Maybe the problem is
Nobody’s meter is
Quite up to speed or that
Doubling dactyls is
Unsatisfactual,
Awkward, uncomical,
Headache inducible,
God-let-it-end-ical,
Numbing to brain tissue,
Oh, let it die, will you?
Higgledy pigglede-
piggledepiggledy,
Johnny, you need to take
Some other tack:
For the last line you need
Use but one anapest,
Then a spondee, and then stop, tabernac!
Morès o tempora!
Here a bewailment of
Current poetical
Manners and times;
Anapests swarm throughout
These double dactyls, but
Utterly innocent
Of any rhymes.
Higgledè piggledè,
I feel stùpid todày,
It would sèem I got mý
Feet mixed ùp in my hèad;
In the vèrses I wròte
Only jùst now abòve,
Please read dàctyl for àn-
Apest. Ì’m goin’ to bèd.
Higgledy piggledy,
Plainly for all to see,
Opened my mouth I, and
Inserted my shoe;
Late 'tis, fatigue set in;
I’m in a state of sin.
Please, o Catrandom, please
Pardon me, do.