It’s a medley! “Achy Breaky Heart,” “Your Cheatin’ Heart,” “Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart,” and “My heart will go on.” I hate heart songs, apparently.
Occassionally they mix in “The Lady in Red.”
I’m afraid to even mention “Seasons In The Sun” for fear that it will get stuck in my head for the rest of the day.
“You’re so vain”
… I bet you think this Hell is about you …
Oh, how I despise that “song” …
Come on Eilleen by Dexis Midnight Runners.
*We can dance if you want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don’t dance, and if they don’t dance
Well they’re no friends of mine
We can go where you want to
We’ve got all your life and mine
And if we don’t abuse it, never gonna lose it
Everything will be just fine*
And when the guy who wrote that earworm shows up I’ll personally sodomize him with Satan’s pitchfork.
“If I Were a Carpenter” and “She’s Having My Baby.”
I think I may have to go lie down.
holds up cigarette lighter
FREE BIRD!
“Deck of Cards” written by T. Texas Tyler (despite what that page says), and recorded by Wink Martindale.
I bet you wish you had gone to church now!
“You’re listening to KHEL Radio! All Morrissey, all the time! Up next we’ve got a 90-millinia music block of songs that’d make you want to slit your wrists…if you weren’t already dead!”
“Red Red Wine” by UB40. I’ll switch the radio station at speeds unmeasured by man when I hear the merest snatch of this song. I’ve voluntarily listened to it once in the last 10 years or so, in circumstances best left mysterious.
Close second: “Wild Wild West,” by the Escape Club.
(“Birdhouse in Your Soul,” on the other hand, would be one of the many selections in my jukebox in heaven. To each his or her own, I guess.)
Dan Hill’s Sometimes When We Touch. It’s a depressing damned song to begin with, and it was at its peak on the charts just when I was going through a rough breakup with a longtime girlfriend. She was unfaithful, done me wrong, etc. I just don’t need to be reminded of that whole mess…
Anything by Shirly Temple, and that “Pink toothbrush, blue toothbrush” song.
I second “My Heart Will Go On”. In fact, I opened this thread just to make sure that it was included. I have been known to walk over to a coworker’s desk and switch off her radio when that song was playing.
Ain’t no Sunshine when She’s Gone
Maybe just the “I know, I know, I know, I know…” part.
Billy & the Beaters - At This Moment. There are few songs I despise more. Except, perhaps, for the entire oeuvre of Kid Rock…
A relatively new song, with way too much airplay: Daughters. I want to vomit every time I hear it. I mean, I’ll cop to being a sucker for a sappy song—hell, I even admit to liking Seasons in the Sun (when I’m in the mood for sappy)—but that song just makes my teeth ache. I can’t believe that pustulant excrescence won Song of the Year.
The Doors’ Touch Me.
You hear that song, and you know that if Jimmy didn’t go out the way he did, he was mere months away from a regular gig in Vegas warbling at drunk accountants on vacation.
I’m gonna love youuuu, till the heavens stop the rain…
I’m gonna love youuuuu, till the stars fall from the sky,
FOR YOU AND I!
[High energy Farfisa break, followed by the toppling of a chair and the snap of a strong rope.)
I found it! Here is what is in heavy rotation in HELL!!!1!11!. It seems that a few Dopers have chosen wisely (or poorly - it’s a POV thing).
I actually like more of those than not. I’m a bit strange, though.
Probably anything by Britney Spears, whose music I get exposed to unwillingly at my gym. I also actually memorize some of the lyrics for the same reason.
Latest bit of tripe:
*All these people talking
All this stuff about me,
Why don’t they just let me be?
Well, let’s see, Ms. Sassybritches, maybe if you didn’t enter into 18-hour marriages maybe they wouldn’t talk so much.