I like one of those hell songs.
I’m too craven to admit which one, though.
jsgoddess, it must be Afternoon Delight. 
Dr Hook and the Medicine Show - If Not You
Who’s going to water my plants…
Donkey Kong could throw you off Niagra Falls in a locus invasion while your first born is being sodomized by Mario, as you watch via satellite in a barrel full of flesh-eating bacteria, and only slightly reach the maelstorm shitfest Lollipop Guild gang-bang that is the timeless question “who’s going to patch my pants?” To hell with you, Dr Hook.
(And danceswithcats, make a little birdhouse in your soul.)
Heh. I think that song owes a certain amount of debt to Another Log On The Fire:
Bastardo!
You light up my life.
The Penis Colonic Song
Three times a Lady
Any Lionel Ritchie song
and
Almost any song that was on the credits of a movie.
You know, when I opened this thread I wasn’t sure which song I’d pick, but then kunilou had to mention “You Light Up My Life”. All my GF has to do is sing “Yyyoouuuu…”, and I’m instantly curled up in the fetal position with my hands over my ears, rocking back and forth and humming to myself.
Even if I’m driving.
:shudder:
Which is interesting, because after looking at the jukebox adam yax posted Welcome to Hell's Jukebox! I want to change my pick to “The Night Chicago Died”
Isn’t that from a Bobby Brown song?
My vote goes to “In the Living Years” by Mike and the Mechanics. I can’t even THINK about the song without wanting to slit my wrists. It’s this eerie combination of loss, depression and outright suck.
Blech.
See, that song is tolerable to me; I don’t hate it. But if there’s any justice in the universe, when she dies, Debby Boone will be shoveling shit in hell for recording YLUML.
Yes.It’s “My Prerogative” and he managed to sing it and have it not suck.
Ah-another floating lump in the musical cistern just came to mind:
Wedding Bell Blues by the 5th Dimension. Whining manipulative crappola to drag some bum named Bill down the aisle. He’s probably shagging the maid of honor.
WARNING: If you read this spoiler box, you may get this truly horrible song stuck in your head for the rest of your life.
Pineapple Princess
Curse that radio station that played it once on an early morning in 1987 or so when I was half asleep!
I still sometimes get it stuck in my head to this day.
Huh. I guess I’m immune. Of course, I’ve never heard of the song in question before, so I suppose that explains it.
There are at least four songs on my list, all of them absolute anathema to me: Dead Teenager Songs. The first four that come to mind are “Last Kiss”, “Tell Laura I Love Her”, “Teen Angel”, and “Leader of the Pack”. And what do you know, two of them are on the Jukebox.
Patches.
Patches is good because there are two awful, terrible, no good, puncture your eardrums with an awl songs called Patches.
There’s Bobby Goldsboro’s Patches, made infamous by Dave Barry’s Bad Songs book and there’s the worst song ever recorded by a black man-- Clarence Carter’s Patches.
If you have never heard Carter’s Patches and wish to listen to it now, I suggest you hide all the razor blades in your home because it will cause you to slit your wrists in despair.
Please Come to Boston, by Dave Loggins.
I like some of these songs, too, but I wouldn’t want to listen to them for eternity.
It’s a tough choice, I almost want to say “Havin’ my baby” but there’s a song I absolutely despise that I think is worse.
“The Freshman” by The Verve or The Verve Pipe, never remember which group.
What the hell is that song about? I think it’s about suicide but I think it’s because it makes you want to commit it.
We hates it, we hates it forever!
Ugh! Bobby Sherman, Julie Julie Julie do ya love me? , and Tommy Roe had too many to list, like Jam Up and Jelly Tight or Sweet Pea (with that great drum solo).
I get bugged by the Byrds Chestnut Mare , not that it’s a horrible song but the lyrics creep me out.
Disco Duck.
Is it Midnight at the Oasis? Because that song always make me think of Waiting for Gufman.
No to both guesses, although I, well, don’t hate either of the guessed songs, either.
This just proves that I’m not going to hell. I’d like the music too much.