Sadly, our family fortune was apparently tied up in Lladro porcelain figurines. I received one (it was promised to me ever since I damaged it as a child). I looked it up online and even though it’s been discontinued, it’s not worth any more than when it was originally purchased. Shucky darn, I guess Papa should have bought gold.
My friends, if I outlive Mrs. Homie, I intend to downsize in the extreme. And by that I mean, buy a camper and live out of it. Maybe drive around the country, see what’s going on. Live on top of the Appalachian Mountains during the height of summer, in Oklahoma during the spring (I loves me some thunderstorms), Florida during the worst of the winter months…
I’ll have a Keurig, a kettle for adding hot water to my freeze-dried meals, some basic utensils, etc. Basic bedding and such. And my laptop. That’s it. No need for a bunch of possessions.
This is one of the reasons we moved. While we do have a finished basement, the main floor has everyting we need. Bedrooms, bathrooms kitchen, laundry and easy access to outside and the garage.
I had hip replacement 7 years ago. I could not handle the stairs in our old house for weeks. A good friend was going up and down stairs after hip replacement in a couple of days.
I have the garage, bedrooms and a full bath at street level. All I’d need is a small kitchenette to make it work for someone on the mend with limited mobility.
The rest of the properly is stair crazy
I’ve said this on here before, but I’ll repeat it here for future reference: You do not have to stand upright on stairs. There comes an age where you should be sitting down and scooching up and down the steps. Stairs and showers/baths are the most dangerous parts of the house for elderly folks. Putting in a grab bar, and sitting on your behind, are the greatest investments you can make in a healthy, independent old age.
I don’t exactly disagree- but I’m wondering how that works if you have to carry things up and down the stairs. I can’t see how you can avoid carrying stuff up and down if you live on more than one level , whether it’s a main floor and a basement or a first and second floor.
We tell my BIL who uses a cane and has neuropathy in his feet to sit and scooch up down his stairs. And to put his laundry or stuff in a bag and drag it up with him.
No. Can’t do that instead calls a nephew who lives 30 min away to come and carry his shit up or down the stairs. Or he calls my spouse to drive 200 miles to fix his disposal.
Dude hire some freaking help or move the fun into a condo better yet assisted living.
I have terrible back problems and periodically have to do this myself. I find it fairly easy to hold a laundry basket on my lap, as long as i don’t over fill it. And anything that isn’t breakable just gets tossed down. (Very therapeutic!)
Yeah. Don’t be that BIL.
Learn to say no, it is allowed. 200 miles is not remotely reasonable. My parents were almost an hour away and that was pushing it. I worked out a deal where they would make a list of things not working right and then my Dad would let me know before I was coming down so I could bring the right tools and some possible parts.
Yeah, 200 is a bit much. I only had 100 miles each way. But I had to take my mom to the doctor and stuff. I was the guy with the notebook with all of moms questions. This, it turned out, scared the shit out of the doctors - Her son (me), in the room taking notes.
And now my house is sold! Accepted an offer today, so I’ll be moving in March. I’ll let you all know how it feels then, but right now I’m a bit jazzed 
Hooray!! You’ll be amazed at how easy your new life is.
Our steep and slippery stairs (we didn’t build ‘em) have anti-slip / friction strips installed (by us). They would shred a schoocher’s seat of pants in no time. Three days tops, I’d say.
Maybe specially-made scooching pants with a super-reinforced seat would fix that.
All right then. Very good.
We are very happy we moved. I thought I would miss my old place but I really don’t.
One would think he’d realize it. And instead of showing up for himself by following through on physical therapy ( he goes to a couple sessions then quits) and counseling he slips further into himself and alcohol. He’s changed a lot and no one wants to hang out with him anymore, conversations are limited and he expresses zero interest in connecting with other people who are the ones picking up the pieces of his dreary life. Such a waste.
Switching gears. I once made it clear to my mother who was living alone when dad was in nursing home that she was fortunate she had five kids who are willing to upend their lives to fly down to Florida to assist them both, mom sabotaged our efforts to bring in outside help. Because lady you’d be in a world of hurt all alone. Cue tears and promises. Such a drama queen may they both RIP.
I swear I would never refuse outside help. Clean my house, bring in meals!!!
That’s sure the smart way. And IMO the way to be able to do that when you need that help is to have practiced getting it before you need it.
Once you do truly need the help, there are two issues. One is that the work doesn’t get done unless it’s hired in. And you therefore have to live in the consequences of the undone work, whether that’s gardening or house cleaning or food prep.
The other, often larger, one is the psychological aspect: that hiring in help is an incontrovertible sign of aging, of increasing incapacity, and therefore of impending doom. Lotta folks will be so afraid of admitting increasing incapacity to themselves, they’ll make a positive fetish out of self-sufficiency even as the things they can actually be self-sufficient in shrink rapidly to nearly nothing.
As their logistical and administrative life collapses around their ears they’ll be clinging to the slender reed of “I still have my independence!” Not realizing that reed is actually a boat anchor they’re carrying, and they would have a larger more independent life with help than without.
There’s a saying that in times of crisis people mostly don’t rise to the occasion. Instead they’re paralyzed by inaction unless they’ve already rehearsed what to do. Thinking about, and to some extent rehearsing, what to do as you transition from e.g. wanting a housekeeper to needing a housekeeper, is the way to prevent inaction from cementing you into stasis and failure to live.
That’s sort of what we are doing. With a big house my wife hired help to clean twice a month. That takes a lot of pressure off of us.
My FIL finding out that my wife and I where not going to have kids asked “Who’s going to take care of you?”
In a strange sort of irony, my wife is currently picking up trash under a bridge about 1/4 mile from us. She walks the dogs under that bridge often. Kids party there and, well we know.
I was here at the new house working from home for about 4 months. My wife was working 100 miles away. I finally deceided to do the grocery drop off stuff. It was greatly helpful, we where buying a home and selling a home, moving, and I was working full time.
My stepmom is very wealthy and mostly mentally there but was getting overwhelmed. She had some part time help in the house but us kids didn’t think it was enough. A couple of years ago she had a brief hospitalization and her doctor wouldn’t discharge her until she had full time coverage. It’s been great.
throwing in: Outside help (esp. in the USA) means often $$$ or $$$$.
… and many people elderly might only have $$ or $$$.
plus: if you do it too late, you might be cognitively and intelectually infirm enough that “outside help” might take advantage of you …
thats the pilot in you speaking… right? (I completely agree, and given your past and present situation, this nugget makes 100% sense)