… Or, “SPOOFE’s There’s Something About Mary Moment”.
Yeah, I was having an intimate moment with my girlfriend. And she was taking my pants off. And Lil’ SPOOFE got… ah… pinched just a tad in the fly as it came down. Now I gots a red mark right on the head of My Most Precious Possession. It stings a little bit, and I expect a full recovery, but now there’s another scar on my weewee along with the results of my infamous toothpaste escapade.
Yessirree, it’s a neverending stream of TMI from SPOOFE-Land. But, just to make myself feel not-quite-so-stupid… anybody else snag their Naughty Bits on anything that, ah, should not be snagging?
When I was a small boy, around 3 or 4 I guess, certainly no older, I had a set of those one piece zip up the body PJs with footies and the whole bit.
I woke up in the night and had to tap a kidney, which I did. When I was finished, I zipped up quickly (I liked the sound zippers made when you close them fast), while forgeting to pull up my shorts.
Ever get a section of the lining caught between the teeth of a zipper when you zip a jacket? Same thing. I EMBEDDED the zipper into the opening of my young member. I mean STUCK.
Imagine if you will, a 3 YO boy with his dick and PJ zipper melded together with great speed and, therefore, force.
It took Dad a good 10 minutes to get the two put properly asunder after I threw one of the great panicked wigouts of all time. There was minor tearing of the edges of the hole, both interior and exterior, and I don’t think I’ve worn one piece PJs since.
Can I ask a question? If you have naughty bits hanging off the front of your torso, why would you a zipper there with BIG METAL TEETH? Ya know, that’s biting some man’s wee parts every day. I think he who first designed this had a thing for pain, and now it’s just tradition.
Sorry but this just comes back to the belief that, even though it’s good for procreation, the design of a male is just funny.
Bleh, I hate the button fly on my 501s. The button holes are small and incredibly awkward to fasten. Nothing like the embarrassment of stepping away from a public urinal then having to spend the next two minutes hunched over by the washbasins fiddling about one’s groinal region. (Trust me; of all the places a guy doesn’t to loiter while touching his fly for an extended period of time, public toilets are way up there!)
OTOH, I found the perfect solution (at the footie on Saturday arvo): simply fasten the middle button and let it do the work of four buttons!