From the “Your tax dollars are workin’ it, honey” department:
Pentagon confirms it sought to build a “gay bomb.”
Some jokes write themselves – and have a faaaaabulous body.
“You know, I know he’s technically the enemy and everything, but look at that ass. Just look at it! My God, I could bounce quarters off that ass all night. Mmmm-MMM.”
Was the gay research abandoned or was it researched with gay abandon?
I was really disappointed in the military on this. Thinking that if they wanted to build a Gay bomb, they’d at least have some inkling of the chemical needed to turn folks gay, I tracked down the Air force document at the Sunshine Project. It contained nothing on possible chemical pathways to gayness.
My nascent plans for a gayifying squirt-gun campaign have come to naught. 
Remember the Get-Smart TV movie The Nude Bomb? I kept thinking of that when I read this story.
So now, when your squad mates yell, “Incoming!” you really do have to cover your ass.
This is an outrage! Thinking they can turn people gay with some sort of chemical bomb…this is an affront! It is awful! and most importantly, where do I get one??
You know, as funny as this is, the concept is actually deeply disturbing. If such a thing managed to be created I imagine one of the first things to happen would be for the chemical mix to end up getting sold as a street drug. Chaos would erupt in the streets! Sorority houses across the country would be turned into frenzied lesbian orgies! And imagine the excuses!
“No, honey, I’m not gay. Bob just slipped me the Gay Bomb.”
From what I’ve read, they already are. Or are you telling me those letters written in to that magazine are all just made up? :dubious:
Gorsnak, do you remember Santa? Something wonderful and magical and almost too good to be true? Well, it’s kind of like that…
Heh…The Kids In The Hall have already done gay warfare. Brain Candy anyone?
But seriously, did no one see how this could totally backfire and end up with a bunch of ass-raped American GIs?
And more KITH:
“I’m gay! I’m gay! I think the drug made me that way!”
This could give “friendly fire” an entirely new significance.
One of the new gay bombs went off prematurely at a training site today. Casualties were horrific. The army emergency airlifted crates of lube and tight shorts into the area, but they may have been too late. We will not be providing footage.
See, this weapon is only effective if the target population considers gayness to be a problem.
We in Canada have neutralised its effectiveness by declaring gays equal, legalising gay marriage and thus making gayness an unremarkable part of life. If the weapon was used here… nothing much would change. We are invincible!!!
Next up: neutralising the polygamy bomb.
“General, should we drop the Overbearing Mother of all Bombs?”
“Gentlemen of the press. Concerning dropping the Gay Bomb, you can’t ask and we can’t tell.”
Thomebody thet uth up the bomb.
On a slightly more serious note, if such a chemical were isolated, I would worry about the discovery of a chemical with the reverse effect: i.e. straight gas. I can imagine gays being forcibly gassed, if not by the government (that seems a bit far-fetched), by fundie parents. Hell, I think some of these self-loathing Fred Phelps/Ted Haggard types would probably use it on themselves, if they could obtain it discreetly.
It would throw a wrench in the whole gays are made vs gays are born, if you could “make” a gay person from a straight one.
1994 huh…
I keep picturing an explosion, and everyone gets up and walks away dazed, wearing pink sparkly camoflauge…
Where’s Mr. Slave when you need him? We need an unbiased opinion!
When asked for his opinion on the gay bomb, Mr Slave had this to say…“Jezzus chrisht.” He offered no further clarification.
I laughed so hard I have tears, and everyone in the computer lab is staring at me. Thanks.