Her and jerry falwell (I know he’s not worth capitol letters) should get married. I hope they both get bent over a trashcan and get gang raped by those weird dudes in Pulp Fiction.
I know! Me too! :eek:
But the question is: who’s changed? Stoid?
or us! :eek:
That said, the two dumbest things I’ve ever heard from Dr. L were:
#1) A woman called in. She found stuff (obviously html code from the woman’s description) on her computer that displayed pictures of her brother-in-law engaged in various sexual activities with someone other than his wife after B-in-L stayed at their place for a week.
Dr Laura: Well, how do you know he put it there?
Woman: Well…he was using it, he said he was updating his web page…
Dr Laura: How do YOU know he put it there?
Woman: How else…?
Dr Laura: Some people can “hack” computers and put stuff there.
Woman: But…it’s him! Naked and…you know. However it got there, there are still pictures of him and someone who’s not my sister! How do I tell…
Dr. Laura: No. Quit trying to avoid the issue. Go get a computer expert who can tell you if they were put there by someone else. Then you need to decide what to do. <hangs up>
This is insane on so many levels. Let’s skip past all the technical ones to the fact that Dr. Laura was so busy showing off how much she thought she knew about computers that she didn’t help this woman resolve the problem (to tell her sister or not) that the woman called in for.
The other one was from a wife who was upset that her husband made it a point to called his elderly mom (who lived alone in another state) once a day to check in. The wife thought the husband was “caving into” his mom’s wishes too much.
Dr. Laura agreed and called him a “momma’s boy”.
Bitch.
I agree with Stoid that I agree with some of her ideas, but she’s a self-absorbed, self-important, nasty shrew who’s so in love with the sound of her own voice that I often hear her ignoring the callers in her quest to pontificate.
Fenris
What I want to know is if we can keep the new Stoid.
Since I can’t do so in person I joined the pay website long enough to download and print the pictures (which I deleted immediately from my hard drive lest it become corrupt also), then soiled and fouled the (lifesize) pictures (I have access to a large color plotter) in frankly unimaginable ways, then rolled them up and sealed them carefully that they might be long-lasting. Every time I feel indignant about her self-righteous hypocrasy, I think of those images of her, fouled and soiled, which will last longer than she, and am comforted. I’m all for morality. I have no respect for hypocrites. Especailly boisterous loud self important hypocrites who have no qualms about telling people to do things which will fuck up their lives because “it’s the right thing to do”.
Go fuck yourself, Dr. Laura, with the dirty end of a broken plunger handle. Go take a sweet lick off the creamy end of my fuckstick. Go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut on a gravel driveway. Think of all the young boys who are jerking off looking at your naked beaver right now, every time you tell some teary-eyed girl she should have kept her legs closed.
And Oh, By the Way, when you talk about how important it is to save yourself for marriage, remind all your listeners how good a job you did of that.
Another classic example: If Dr. Laura is going to heaven, keep me the hell away.
b.
[sub]okay, so printing lifesize nudes of Dr. Laura and jerking off etc. all over them may be a sign that I need a checkup from the neckup, but hey, who doesn’t nowadays?[/sub]
I’ve never listened to Dr. Laura, but I’ve heard plenty second hand. A female friend of mine told me that I wasn’t worth dating because I was looking for a job. It meant that I was lazy and wouldn’t be a good husband or provider. Excuse me, but I was LOOKING for a job. They don’t magically appear out of a fairy’s butt whenever you need one. I have had a job for the last nine months and was unemployed for only three months before that while I was searching. So, anyone who has been laid off recently has dramatically decreased in worth and would make a poor husband. The root of this belief system? You got it: Dr. Laura.
Possible pronoun trouble:
Please substitute as the first part:
I agree with Stoid about Dr. Laura: I agree with some of Dr. L’s ideas…etc
Fenris, with visions of “Rabbit Seasoning” and "Duck! Rabbit!Duck! running through his mind
I can’t really say that Dr. Laura really annoys me all that much… I know too many people like her already. Most of them are my relatives.
What scares the bejeezuz outta me, though, is that there are apparently thousands of people living in America today who are willing to ask her for advice. These simpering little mouse-people call with the most petty, the tritest, and the most blatantly-fucking-obvious problems that no submoron in their right mind would dare air in public for fear of being called a dumbass, to ask for help from the Notorious B.I.T.C.H. herself. I mean, shit, they’ve gotta know by now that there’s a pretty good chance they’re gonna get hollered at when they call this woman. They deserve whatever verbal colonic exfoliation they get.
You called? (The correct answer, of course, is that you’d choose me. I’m far nicer than the devil. Who is in turn far nicer than Dr. Laura.)
And let me add: Stoid, I may not always agree with you. But this time - wow. I’m so much in agreement I’d be happy to get your OP tattooed on my body, except a) it would cost a bunch and b) any mention of Dr. Laura would surely render my LO (and any other sexual partner I ever have) instantly and permanently frigid.
Actually, the hacker/porn angle is one Laura has played more than once. On an ad for her TV show (IIRC) someone asked her, “I found porn on the computer, but my husband says he wasn’t looking at porn on the internet. What should I do?” Cut to erudite- (and shrivelled-) looking Dr. Laura, who explains that the husband might be innocent, because hackers go around planting porn on people’s hard drives. Huh? One wonders if she’s trying to concoct some explanation for those nude pictures of her. If “I was an atheist” doesn’t cut it, just switch to “hackers did it.”
I, too, wonder who, exactly, calls Dr. Laura looking for advice. (Remember, though, that one of the more popular religions in America is based on the idea that you’re so worthless that you deserve an eternity of torment, worm!)
I have also wondered whether Dr. Laura is consciously pursuing traditional morality for ulterior motives. As has already been pointed out, she does drive-through psychotherapy. When a caller calls, she asks a set of standard questions:
-
How old are you?
-
How old is your spouse?
-
How long have you been married?
-
How many kids do you have, and how old are they?
She then rattles off an answer (one of maybe three in her repertoire) which has nothing to do with the answers to these questions. You see, she was just fishing for an excuse to rag on you for having kids one year older than your marriage, even if that had nothing whatsoever to do with your problem.
The thing is, if you say, “I’m a lesbian, and my partner wants to adopt a baby, but I don’t,” then Dr. Laura can’t consult the script- if people are all different, then they can’t get identical little happy meals of wisdom. And so it starts to look a little suspicious to me that Dr. Laura has made a career of “if you conform, here’s your cookie-cutter answer to all your problems, and if you don’t conform, then obviously your nonconformity is the source of all your problems.”
And let me not forget that I find it hard to believe that Dr. Laura wrote two books on the 10 things men and women do to screw up their lives. In my entire time of listening to Dr. Laura, I only heard three problems. (Okay, every once in a while someone would ask about a different problem, but then she’d start ranting about how they had kids out of wedlock, and that’s why the hackers put porn on their computer.) I don’t remember all three, but one of them was, “Uh, lahk, if my uh, girlfriend and Ah were to uh, you know, get it on, would we get in trouble?” “How old is your girlfriend?” “Fourteen.” “How old are you?” “Thirtuh-two.” How did Dr. Laura actually get twenty questions to write her books about? (Actually, Dr. Joy Brown gets the same three questions over and over again, too, so it’s not entirely Dr. Laura’s fault. Dr. Brown’s big one is, “I don’t like my husband.” “If you won the lottery, would you leave him?” “Yes.” “Leave him.”)
-Ben
Dr. Laura Shitslinger is a bona fide fucking cunt who has no business telling anyone what to do.
I switched to listen to the news station the other day while I was driving and what to my wondering ears appeared? Dr. Laura Shitslinger.
That was days ago and she has still been pissing me off. She’s a fucking cancer and I have no use for her self righteous, condescending, pious, better than thou fucking attitude.
She pisses me off so much I can’t put it into words.
Billy, I wouldn’t let her touch my fuckstick. What the hell are you thinking man? The thing would shrivel up and fall off. Then what good would it be to anyone?
I’ve always wanted to call and ask her about my relationship. She is against pre-marital sex because it may result in a baby. But I’m sterile and non-religious. Does that mean I have the moral license to fuck like a bunny?
** Monty, ** hell may have reached the elusive absolute zero.
And ** pohjonen, ** I suspect this may be precisely the reason for all the stoid-postiive energy in this thread. Y’all aren’t used to Stoid being vituperative, and I swear it makes ya feel closer to me somehow. I’ve been tempted for awhile to chuck the Stoidal Rulebook and wade into the fray with both barrels blazing …but I just can’t. Hurling limp and umimaginative invective at Dr. Laura is the best I can do.
And ** Scylla…Fenris… Airman Doors, ** I am the same stoid I’ve always been. Perhaps it’s just a relative thing…with Osama around, I just don’t look that bad anymore. And then again, maybe if you were able to wander around my head for awhile you’d find yourself just as enraged at me as ever. [sub] (Although I have to pipe up here and say that I have always felt that the level of anger at me was and has alweays been far out of proportion to anything I’ve ever really said or done. The Stoid with the reputation has never had much resemblence to the real Stoid. Too bad none of you guys are West coasters, I’d invite you out for a drink sometime and show ya what a sweetie I really am.)[/sub] I just don’t have the heart to argue about much of anything these days…it’s all too important and too fucking real. So I sit around weeping instead.
And I’m going to fax Dr. Laura a gentle query about this, not that I think she’ll respond, no matter how nicely I ask.
** Pump Action Gerbil ** wanted to know why I let her get to me so much. I couldn’t get him to understand that it doesn’t matter what kind of bitch she is as a private person, but the fact that millions listen to her gives her power, and I HATE IT when people who are WRONG, evil, and generally horrid have POWER! Grrr.
Oh, and in that same little speech, she declared “I hate debating! I absolutely hate it!” Well, of course you do, cunt, it means somebody besides * you * gets to talk.
stoid
who really, really hates the word “cunt” and pretty much never uses it, saving it for special occasions like this and special people like Dr. Laura.
Of course, because when I was 17 years and 364 days old, I was four-foot tall, had nice, strawberry blonde hair, and a light, young’un voice… complemented with a nice bit of baby fat. The very next day, however, I was two feet taller, my balls dropped, a big ol tuft of facial hair, chest hair, and pubic hair appeared (in the appropriate bodily regions, of course), I suddenly had a very bassy voice, and dammit, I had this huge fucking hardon that didn’t go away for a week.
Why, yes…yes it does.
::Hunts around for bunny costume::
I have never listened to Dr. Laura, but have heard plenty of her spewings second hand. Amazing what life forms crawl the planet.
Then what happened? (Sorry, the TMI thread is back in my brain. It won’t happen again.)
Dr. Laura…a uniter, not a divider!
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Dijon Warlock *
**
Well, it poked me in the eye, and the pain caused it to deflate a little… unfortunately, I ran into the kitchen to get some ice (for my sore eye, of course), and the damn thing dangled into the garbage disposal.
So you’ll understand when I say that I’m not exactly “hung like a horse” anymore…
I hate it when that happens. But look on the bright side: even if you’re not hung like a horse anymore, you can still brew beer from your droppings. That’s got to mitigate your loss a bit.
Oh. Sorry. In addition to being a narrowminded shrew and an oozing pustule on the buttocks of Judaism world-wide, she’s also MEAN. You’re not dense at all. See, my kids are adopted. If I said to Dr. Pustule, " I am not my son’s father" when ( god above forbid that I’d ever call, but…) I got her on the phone, she’d vilify me so thoroughly that the only recourse would be for me to throw myself under the nearest knish pushcart and die a slow and rather messy death.
That’s all that meant. Thank you for what you said up there, though. 
That was awfully nice of you. I don’t care if she’s all that she is, what I care about is that she puts herself in a position of “authority” and influence, and feels she can speak to others and be obeyed. THAT hurts.
Today is the end of the Jewish Day of Atonement. I’m supposed to be atoning for my sins of the past year. Was it a sin that I attacked that nitwit verbally?
** NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO** it was not.
Well, in response to the question, “What kind of people ask her for advice anyway?” I’d just like to point out that, first, her show is edited down from hundreds of phone calls every week, and second, the calls are screened by staffers beforehand to give her some idea of what to expect before she actually picks up and starts talking, so the people you hear on the air are hardly a representative selection of “Dr. Laura people”.
They’re the sane ones.
DDG: You are right about the screeners, but here in LA, which is where she tapes her bilge, the only editing we have is the 7-second delay.
The fact is, anyone with 12 brain cells could listen to her for 15 minutes, and know the answer to just about any question you might think of to ask. So why ask it? To be abused by the woman herself? And more and more she sounds disgusted as soon as the person says “Thank you for taking my call.”
She is a boil that needs lancing.
I noticed Rush Limbaugh saying something similar earlier this week. I thought it was a strange thing for someone with no college education to say. Oh, and fuck Rush Limbaugh (almost forgot this was The Pit).
Oddly enough, I remember a time about 3 years ago when Dr. Laura would have handled a lesbian caller with all due respect. She has grown progressively less progressive, so to speak. Started with abandoning the board of Skeptic magazine, and she’s become steadily more religious over the years.