Dr. Laura, Fuck the Fuck Off, m'kay?

The BBQ Pit
1

I think you are an evil, self-righteous cunt to begin with. Much of what you say I agree with…but you say it so incredibly badly, with such nastiness, rudeness, and cruelty, that you scrape it free of any value it might have had.

I listen to you occasionally for the same reason I listen to Rush occasionally: one must know the enemy in order to defeat him.

Well, yesterday you took the goddamn cake. I am stunned that your hypocrisy didn’t make your head explode.

You read a letter from some old guy that was annoyed by college protesters and which amounted to “Kids are full of shit and we shouldn’t listen to them.”

Then you chime in with your agreement with this sentiment, calling college protestors at one point “A bunch of snot nosed spoiled brats out there posturing” You then go on to share with us how wise you were when you were in collegee, understanding that what you and your fellow students had to say was essentially worthless because you were all just children. Quote: “I didn’t imagine that my opinion should come out of my mouth. I didn’t have that arrogance.” If only you had held on to that belief!

Then, in nearly the same fucking, fire-breathing, hateful breath, you took a call from a woman asking you how she might be able to reassure her 18 year old son, who has obviously been freaked out by everything and is calling home all the time. He’s afraid of being drafted and going to war.

Your head-stuffed-up-your-hypocritical ass answer?

“He’s not a child, he’s a MAN. Enough with mothers telling ** men ** to [obnoxious taunting voice] feel better [/obnoxious taunting voice]. Don’t call me whining that this is an inconvenience and a threat. Enough with reassuring men as though they were small children”

You supercilious, venomous, CUNT!!! In other words, her 18 year old son can’t SPEAK because he’s ** stupid kid ** , but he has to go ** DIE ** because he’s ** a man!!! **

ARGH!!!

FUCK YOU!!!FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!

I can think of no more perfect illustration of the word “Hypocrite” than you. I thought so before, but now… you are a horrendous excuse for a human being. I cannot express the depth and breadth of my contempt for you.

Sorry, I don’t have any practice at this rant stuff. I just needed to say this.

stoid

2

well that was a damn good start.

Yeesh :rolleyes: you’d think some people in the media would remember what they just spit out for at least 5-10 minutes. Isn’t that kind of attention span required for college? So those stupid college kids can handle it and she cannot?

Where’s a Vogon ship when you need it?

:slight_smile:

3

Wait…was she the one who’s ex-boyfriend took naked pictures of her, then sold them to the tabloids? :eek:
~Kittie

4

dear god…
don’t make me think of a…

a…

a…

NAKED LAURA SCLESSENGER!
my eyes are melting…

i think my head is going to explode with the horror of it all…

OH N… <BOOM!>

5

I’ve seen them. I had to rip my eyes out of my head, soak them in an ammonia/bleach conconction and bury the mix under a full moon in a New Orleans graveyard for two weeks. Then I seared them over medium heat for an hour, and spent most of a day working on them with a fine grain sandpaper.
. . . and boy are my arms tired.

6

but uses God’s name in vain when swearing quite often.
This is a violation of one of the major commandments,
“You shall not take my name in vain.”
She speaks the talk, but does not walk the walk.

7

PREACH it, SISTER! :wink:

She fobs people off with half-assed answers, and you can just HEAR in her voice how she’s watching the second hand sweep around on the clock. Gotta get it into a neat three-minute package.

She doesn’t WAIT for them to finish talking, she simply jumps to conclusions about what it is SHE thinks they must want, and she solves the problem that SHE thinks they have, and I’m sitting there saying, “But wait, let her FINISH, what does the GRANDMOTHER say about this…?” but whoops! it’s time for a break.

The answers she gives are totally simplistic, Ann Landers-type sound bites. “Yada yada yada. Okay.” And the caller goes, “Um…but…my mother…” and Dr. Laura goes, “Yada yada YADA! Okay?” like if she repeats it louder, the caller will get it. It always reminds me of those people who think if they shout in English to non-English speakers, they’ll get it. “WHERE…IS…THE…BATH…ROOOOOM??”

Fortunately the only time I ever really have to listen to her is on long car trips, when you’re out there in the wide open spaces in between the country music radio stations, and since it’s “Driver’s Choice” in our family, and the Better Half is usually driving, it’s either Dr. Laura or Rush.

Which would YOU choose? Talk about the Devil and the deep blue sea… :smiley:

Next time, I’m gonna borrow La Principessa’s CD player with headphones and listen to the Backstreet Boys all the way to Grandma’s house.

And, Stoid, have you seen this website?

http://www.infoshop.org/library/drlaura.html

It’s got one of the pix, but tastefully edited (hee).

And I won’t put the links here, but the pix are online unedited. Look around on Google under “Laura naked”. FWIW, they’re actually rather sad, I think, but then I think all amateur porn is rather sad. Girls posing for their boyfriends, and all I can think is, “Why?” And they’re not even “artistic”, not posed or erotic–just an endless progression of wide-open-beaver shots. I’m sorry, I just don’t get it.

Abe, you must have really sensitive eyes. All I needed was a good eye-roll workout " :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: " and I was fine. :smiley:

8

Preparatory Checklist: [ul][li]Notify Devil that Hell is rapidly freezing over.[list][]Not Done[]***»*Done[/ul][/list][/list][/li]
Stoid: Well said.

9

I’ve never listened to Dr. Laura. But this:

…has got to be one of the single most ignorant fucking statements I’ve ever heard, in my lifetime.

Um, Dr. Laura? We got attacked, remember? Everyone is scared, confused, and angry. We all need reassurance that we will live through this.

Kinda makes me glad I’ve never listened to her. And an excellent reason to never start.

10

I’m hoping to catch some people who haven’t seen this. I think it puts Dr. Laura in her place admirably. The worst thing I ever heard her say was that a man was doing his moral duty by not hiring a qualified woman he knew had children at home. What a putz. What a hypocritical know it all. There used to be a blast Dr. Laura website where someone called her Dr. Shitslinger. I don’t usually go in for name calling, but I did envy someone that one.

Anyhoo, here it is:

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s law. I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as manyeople as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual life-style, for
example, I simply remind him that Leviticus18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

                                                    Author unknown

P.S. Stoid, I’ve never seen you lose your calm, deliberate posting style before. I must admit I enjoyed the spectacle. Especially on the topic of one of my favorite pet peeve people.

11

Poh: The worst thing I ever heard Dr L say was her “advice” to one caller to divorce the new husband and go back and marry the wife-beating cretin the caller had left, all so the caller’s child could “grow up with the kid’s real daddy.”

“Rancid” just doesn’t describe it enough.

12

Oh I forgot another lulu. A man called to say that when he married and had children he and his wife agreed that she would continue to work. But now, thanks to Dr. Laura, he sees that he has seen the error of that agreement. Her advice? Give her an ultimatum… If I were that woman I’d lose that guy so fast his cajones would spin (ouch).

13

All I can add is, " I am not my son’s father" .

:smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

AND I’M FUCKING PROUD OF IT TOO !!!

Oh god I loathe that creature, she makes me ashamed to be a Jew. ;j

Cartooniverse

14

Help me please. I’m very scared.

I’ve been finding myself agreeing with Stoid a lot lately.

That never used to happen. :wink:

15

No,Cartooniverse, you, of all people should never be ashamed.

She, on the other hand should be too ashamed to claim any kinship with the likes of you.

That said, forgive me my density, but

HUH?

16

Maybe a lot of superficial differences got wiped out around here, lately.

17

Can’t someone tear up her membership?

That evil slunt tries so hard to be, for lack of a better expression, more Catholic than the Pope with her new-found religiosity. I imagine your reaction is shared by a good many, if not most, natural-born Jews.

18

Ready for something even more shocking, Stoid?

I agree with you 100%. :eek: I think that’s a first.

Why is this woman still able to spread this bile? I am amazed that people listen to this woman and actually get anything positive out of what she says. I have yet to hear her say anything even remotely intelligent.

19

The truly sad thing is, she will never understand how much her hypocrisy hurts others. It’s one thing to be a hypocrite; it’s quite another to hurt others doing it.

Great rant, Stoid :slight_smile:

Robin

20

Seriously, folks; tell the truth here. Haven’t you imagined how fun it would be whilst sipping suds on eating pizza to make up some Jerry Springeresque scenario and call in just to get the ol’ bag going?