This is a mild rant, but I’m tired and I need to get it out of my system. It all centers around a coworker that’s only been here for maybe 2 months. This is a multinational, multi service post so she’s air force, I’m army. She’s also very young (22) and tends to be a drama queen. We get along at work, mainly because I told her I don’t do the drama stuff at work. (or at home either) I don’t care if you’re a girl, we gotta move stuff, you’re picking it up. You can tell me about all the he said/she said stuff that 20-somethings get into, but understand I’m not that interested. I’m 43. I don’t have the patience for those games, besides, I’ve been there-done that. I was in my 20’s once too, you know, way back in the dark ages.
Anyway, lets call her Sue. She gets along with my wife in a younger sister kind of way. They went out earlier this evening for a drink. But my wife had to go to work at 7AM so she came home early and went to bed. I was asleep by 12. Sue went to hang out with “Tina”, a Canadian civilian that’s her age and a bunch of the german soldiers that are in the same age group. My phone rings at 0305, and its Sue, crying and screaming that shes hurt and needs help. Tina picks up the line trying to explain, but the screaming is too loud. Knowing the german barracks is nearby I throw on some jeans and drive there. Heres the deal….Sue says she fell over while dancing and hit her head on a radiator, knocking herself out. Now she says she can’t stop the bleeding because her blood doesn’t clot. She’s crying and being generally hysterical. Tina says she had left earlier and was in bed. Apparently she got the screaming phone call just before I did and came there. I look at Sue’s head. She’s not bleeding badly though she insists she is. Two german soldiers there say they didn’t even see her fall and that she seems to be alright. (No one is shitty drunk, but Tina and I are the only completely sober people there) She insists she needs to go to the emergency room. We’re in a remote part of Southern Germany. The nearest ER is about 30 minutes away.
I tell Sue again, that here head is not bleeding badly but if she wants to go to the ER I’ll take her. In fact, other than some dried blood in her hair, thats not any bleeding I can see) BUT she has to consider the fact that I’ll have to inform the 1st Sergeant and the Staff Duty Officer. (and thus the Commandant and the Senior US Representative). Do you really want them to know you were falling down drunk in a barracks full of guys? She still insists claiming she’s going to throw up and she was unconscious for five minutes after hitting her head. The german soldiers still claim she wasn’t. (and I believe them) So we take her to the emergency room. Honestly I’ve seen more blood when I cut myself shaving. During the trip Sue is joking until someone mentions that she seems alright, then its drama time again. She says again, she has a condition where her blood won’t clot. I ask her “Hemophilia?”. She says she has never heard of hemophilia. I’m wary, since you can’t join the US military with a condition like that. So now I’m thinking Drama Queen and Hypochondriac.
We get to the ER and the doctor and nurse there take her to the examination room. She won’t got unless Tina goes with her. They tell her she needs 3 stitches. Drama time. We can hear her crying from the waiting room. Seriously you would have thought they were giving her a spinal tap or sawing her foot off. Even the nurse told her to shut up. The german guys start laughing and I’ll admit, I did too. The squeals of pain were way out of proportion for three stitches. Then she blabs how she was unconscious for 5 minutes. Now the doctor says she has to stay in the hospital for 2 days for observation. Great, now I HAVE to call the Staff Duty Officer. I speak to the german doctor. He’s thinking she’s blowing things out of proportion, but he has to follow this procedure. Now, not only does Sue want Tina to call her friend in the US on her cell phone (to tell him about 3 fucking stitches? At fucking 6 AM our time?) She wants Tina to stay with her since she doesn’t want to be alone in a german hospital. Even Tina was telling her “You’re in the military, for Heavens sake. You’re 22 years old, not 6 and you’ve been deployed before. Stop being a baby!”.
Hey, sister, I warned you that if you play the drama card this was going to happen. Ok. You needed stitches, but when that didn’t garner any sympathy you started blabbing about being out cold and vomiting (that the soldiers present tell me didn’t happen). Now you want Tina to STAY with you? Tina’s parents are Canadian military…Tina calls them to let them know where she is. Her mother flips out (I know her, we work together) telling her she’s not picking her up if she stays with “Miss Drama Queen”. I inform Tina that I’m going home to get some shuteye. Sue’s been in the hospital room for ten minutes and texts Tina asking “Where are you?”. Tina has schoolwork to do this weekend and decides to leave with the rest of us, though she feels guilty about it. (Her mom is hell on wheels, I can’t wait to hear her ranting on Monday) She’s hip to the drama thing, but she has a big ass heart and beats herself up over stuff to much.
So am I being a dick about this? I’m not really angry. I’d do this for any soldier, airman or whatever that says they need help. But the bottom line is, she wasn’t hurt that badly. On the way to the ER I told her to calm down because its not like she has a concussion. BINGO, all of a sudden she claims to have a concussion. Just like that. I’m like, “Now you’re a fuckin’ hemophiliac /doctor?” She called me and about 3 other folks (that didn’t answer their phones) about this. I told her what would happen if she insisted on this, and she was all “I don’t care what the 1st sergeant/commandant think, I’m bleeding to death!” Now she’s like “I don’t want to be alone in the hospital/ I don’t want them to think I’m a drunken floozy.” . 3 stitches. I’ve got more thread in my shirt buttons. As I told Tina I’ll drive back out there this afternoon to check on her, and yes, I hope shes alright. But we’re gonna have to have a talk about the drama thing.
