I just discovered this great comic strip called Pibgorn, about wood fairies and church organists and giant houseflies and murderous harpies. Here’s a link to my miserable failure of a Cafe Society thread in which I rhapsodize over it.
Comics.com is reprinting the early strips to give folks like me a chance at the backstory, and I was delighted to find that Drusilla, Geoff’s demure girlfriend, is really an evil succubus.
Made me reminisce about my college-days literary studies, particularly the Joris-Karl Huysmans novel La Bas, which gives lots of fascinating information about those sexiest monsters in all the occult world…incubi and succubi.
Now, since the primary drive for the incubus is to impregnate the sleeping woman with devil-spawn…and that of the succubus is to drain the precious pearlescent life-force of the sleeping man…I got to wondering how they dealt with possible gay “victims.”
So you’re an incubus, all unsuspectingly appearing in a lesbian lady’s boudoir. You whip out that three-pronged flaming dork, looking forward to the usual “WHEEEE-doggie, bring it on!” And instead you get a table lamp crashing against the side of your ectoplasmic skull.
Or a succubus, materializing in a Christopher Street studio apartment in your best clinging negligee and vagina dentata, to a response of “Holy SHIT, dere’s a fuckin’ skoit in da bed!” from a tattooed guido.
Cross-materializations don’t seem to make a lot of sense, either on the impregnating or essence-draining front.
Is it possible that the gay community is exempt from evil nocturnal daemonic visitations? Or am I selling the occult world short?
I’m far from an expert, but I was under the impression that this stuff dated back quite a ways.
As in centuries. The earliest I am aware of sex demons cropping up (and causing “inexplicable” pregnancies) was in Europe during the Dark Ages.
It is true, I think, that gay people existed back then, but it wasn’t something you’d wanna spread around, if you follow my meaning. Therefore, whoever invented sex demons from hell apparently didn’t think to discuss what they’d do if they happened to pounce on someone with an alternate lifestyle.
I guess the poor sex demons just had to take the good with the bad.
Wasn’t the whole agenda of incubi and succubi to corrupt unsuspecting people and lead them towards a life of sin and carnal lust?
Considering that all gay people are inherently corrupt, lustful, sinners, I would guess that a demon would just apparate and then say, “And now you will become my – oh, wait. You’re already done. Err. Awkward! I’ll, uh, just be on my way then. Um. See you soon!”
According to the famous 1487 witch hunter’s manual, the Malleus Maleficarum, the succubus is just an incubus transformed, and vice versa.
The succubus takes the sperm from the incubus, corrupts it, and re-injects it in the female victim to impregnate them with a demon child. So presumably our succubus caught in gay man’s well-appinted apartment could dodge behind that tasteful Japanese folding screen, and perform an instant sex-change transfiguration. Then s/he could claim the victim’s soul, if it isn’t already sold to Martha Stewart.
Phil Foglio did a comic once for his XXXenophile adult comic, about a succubus who appears on a couple’s wedding night, intent on destroying their marriage by seducing the groom with her wanton sensuality, and is freaked out when she learns the bride is into threesomes. Apparently, the succubus hadn’t gotten out of hell much since the 19th century.
And then they all have sex. It is an adult comic, after all.
Hmm, I thought the demoness-type was just there to scare the cursed couple into not being able to complete sex, thus preventing them from continuing the line. She was shocked to find out that not only had they already had sex (lots), but would swing as well, and since the bride was on a Norplant-style birth control, she couldn’t get pregnant then anyway… so, might as well join in!
The question I always had on the sex lives of these lovely demons is what would happen if an incubus and a succubus hooked up.
Would they steal each others absence of soul? Would they explode like matter and anti-matter? Would it be bad like crossing the streams in Ghostbusters?
Since all of us gay people are destined for hell, the incubi (for the guys) would simply be asked to join in, because well… they’re every vain jock oriented gay man’s wet dream (and we know what libertines gay men are). The Succubi… well they’d have the lesbians asking them to move in after two days.
(hahaha i kid, i kid!)
This post sponsored by:
Handbaskets to Hell by Martha, made of the finest Egyptian reed, woven from rare Andean bullrush, and decorated with the most exquisite hand woven satin ribbon, made by Tibetan widows under a full moon in Provence.
When you’re going to hell, you might as well arrive at Satan’s doorstep in STYLE.
