I’m sure you all know the drill – the Hallmark card, surreptitiously passed around in a manila folder… the orders to sign it and pass it on to so-and-so… the pretence of secrecy. Just as you’ll be familiar with the reasons for said drill: “Congratulations, you spawned!” “Congratulations, you’re leaving!” “Congratulations, you have a large carbonaceous lump on a metal band engirdling the third finger of your leftmost hand!” And always, the fearful question gnawing at the entrails: What on earth do I write? Do I spend 15 minutes composing a heartfelt and highly personal message? Or do I try to write something lighthearted and witty, with the secret dread that it’ll be misunderstood and cause mortal offense? Or do I wuss out and write, in an inconspicous corner of the card, “Congratulations! All the best! Keep in touch!”
Well, for me this morning at least, it was option three all the way.
I always just sign my name, nothing more. The part I hate is passing it back off to someone else. I feel like I’m perpetuating something I don’t want to participate in anyway.
Always remember that the card recipient has no idea who signed the card in what order.
Personally, I’m a “Happy Birthday, We’ll miss you, Congratulations!, Sorry for your loss” signer. If I have something heartfelt and personal to say, I’ll buy my own card.
I just pass it back to the secretary who had the bright idea to send the card in the first place. I’m not going to spend my time looking at the card and figuring out who hasn’t signed it yet.
I’d like to stop participating too. In fact, the next time a card is sent for me to sign I’ll just say I’ve already signed it.
Other: “What (s)he said” with an arrow drawn to one of the polite comments someone else has already written
As a fun alternative, try signing someone else’s name to the card (like Bill Clinton, Tom Cruise, Mickey Mouse, Adolf Hitler, Oprah Winfrey, Jesus Christ, etc.)
Well, one time I was given a birthday card to sign for the Grandest Highest Poobah around these parts, and I wrote something to the effect of how hot he looks. Didn’t sign my name, of course. I hope he read it and spent some time puzzling over who wrote that one.
We only ever get birthday cards, really, and for two years I’ve always signed the same thing: “Best wishes and many happy returns of the day! ~Mixie”. I wonder if anyone’s noticed yet?
I usually sign cards as Hugh Jass, or similar; then I sign my own name (with a different pen) as well. People often come to me to see if I can help them figger out who the asshole was who signed the bad name.
We don’t do it much around here, but I had to sign a wedding card for my boss’s boss who married a fellow staff member. I signed Mazel Tov! ;j and my name with my last initial. Mazel Tov was good because there aren’t many Jewish people around here so it was wicked multicultural and stuff and therefore cool and the last initial is not one of your more popular ones and so is kind of jazzy and zippy.
