It was a dark and stormy morning. I was traveling north on a road heavy with traffic. Rain was pelting my windshield like - well like rain is wont to do. I was cautiously passing a slow moving tractor trailer. Just as my front bumper passed his rear axles, he decided to pass a slow moving car. The tractor was in my lane, the trailer not yet so.
My mind flashes back almost 30 years. Dad was teaching me to drive. One of his tenants was: drive like you don’t have brakes. If your car didn’t have brakes or, more aptly, had poor brakes, you would be less likely to tailgate. You would start easing off the gas before you got to the steep curve in the road. You wouldn’t jump on the accelerator when the light turned green knowing you would have to stop at the next red light anyway. Dad didn’t really mean you don’t have brakes, he just meant for you to respect distances.
Flash forward about 20 years or so. I’m teaching my nephew to drive stick. Dad has already taken him out driving as has my brother. We are getting off a major highway and there is a rather steep curve on the exit ramp. We ARE NOT SLOWING DOWN! The tires are squealing and the guide rails are getting closer and closer. There is now blue paint on the guide rail and a long scrape on my car…
What in the holy mother of god are you doing?!?! I want it to come out calmly, but a bellow is a better description of my volume.
“Pappy said to never use your brakes” my nephew said.
I don’t recall my exact language, but you all have heard people swear and so I’m guessing you can fill in the blanks.
“No,” I say, “Pappy said to drive AS IF YOU DON’T HAVE BREAKS!” There is a lot more swearing. I am a big man and my voice is fairly deep. Some have compared an angry bellow from me to the roll of thunder. My nephew is trying to hide his tears. When I see this I start to calm down. I was young once. I ruined a car or two. He has pulled over. I explain to him the zen of Pappy driving. I get out and inspect the damage. He gets out and hands me the keys.
“What are you doing?” I asked him.
He says: “I figured you weren’t going to let me drive any more.”
“No” I say, “I can’t let you go back to Gram’s without teaching you how to drive *as if *you don’t have brakes. Good lord, you’ll give poor old Gram a heart attack if you take her out.”
He finally grins. “Not Gram” he says, “she’d just have my hide.”
He gets back in and we drive a while. He finally says: “You going to tell Dad?”
No" I tell him, “it’s a beater anyway, it won’t make much difference in the end.” Hell, I didn’t even bother to get it fixed.
His mood suddenly improves and we drive a while more before going back to my parent’s house.
Flash forward to present. The tractor was in my lane, the trailer not yet so. All of these thoughts fly through my brain as I slam on my brakes. The tractor trailer drivers sees me and slams on his brakes and gets back in his own lane. Some how he doesn’t hit the car in front of me, he doesn’t hit me and no one hits me from behind (this by itself is freaking miracle on that road.)
What would Dad had said? Dad woulda said: Drive as if you don’t have brakes - but be *damn *glad you have 'em when you need them.
Rest well Dad. I still miss you.
