"Drive-thru Dread": Please let me finish my order!

This is about as mundane and first-worldy-problem as it gets . . .

I suffer from fast food drive-thru ordering dread; I get really anxious about speaking into the clown’s mouth. Does this happen to you or is there just something special about me?

Clown: whaddya getcha wannatrynew tacoshreddermaximus blergha blergha?
Me: I’d like a bacon cheeseburger and a –
Clown: okay, please pull forward
Me: Oh, there’s more: a large fry and –
Clown: That’ll be $3.23, pull forward
Me: Also a sundae with nu–
Clown: <silence>
Me: Hello? Hello?
Ad infinitum

I walk inside. EZ!

If my order is going to be any more complicated than, “Number 4, medium, Coke,” I go inside and order at the counter, even though I know most places prioritize the drive-thru and you get served faster, it’s worth waiting to get it right.

On several occasions, I’ve seen a line for the drive-through wrapped halfway around the building: I go inside and walk right up to the counter.

A great many people are fundamentally lazy.

I suffer from the opposite problem: unless I specify that I am not having a drink at the end of the order, places almost always ask if I want a drink (and even sometimes if I do).

Also, at Five Guys, ordering at the counter, if I do not give my order in reverse (no shake, water to drink, regular fries, small burger with so and so), I will not only be upsold on the shake but interrupted by asking me if I want fries and a drink before I even have a chance to say one way or another: I guess I could blurt out my entire order without stopping, but then the cashier might not get everything the first time and might have to ask again. And by interrupting I mean stopping me while the words “and a reg…” are coming out of my mouth with “would you like any fries?”

I seem to run into the opposite problem, but thankfully not that often. That of not being able to get the person to shut the fuck up, stop asking me questions and just move the fuck on.

No I don’t want to upsize, or I’d have said so at the start.
No I don’t want a dessert.
I’m absolutely certain I don’t want a second full meal or more fries.
No I don’t want to donate a dollar for whatever the fuck you’re holding me up for.
Seriously, I’m done ordering. Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
It’s like those damned store CC/Debit card things. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve complained about all the damned questions when I go to PetSmart. JUST FUCKING LET ME PAY ALREADY!

I have this problem with my wife and kids. If it’s just me, it’s easy, but they can’t order without *long *delays that drive the person on the other end crazy. I also strongly encourage we go inside to order, or I state as we pull in, “everyone have their order ready?” Of course they don’t…

The fast food ordering process can be slightly awkward. I think the folks taking the orders have the basic script memorized and any deviations just catch them off guard a little. Doing it over a dodgy speaker system makes it even trickier. Some places now have a little screen that shows the order, which is nice.

I’m a burger (no tomato), fries, and coke (no ice) kind of guy and I’ve always been able to communicate that in some fashion or another. The oddest part to me is that cheese seems to be the default on every burger, so much that some places don’t even have a “hamburger” on the menu. And ordering a “cheeseburger, hold the cheese” is getting into Five Easy Pieces territory.

The inside isn’t open at 2 AM, which is the only proper time for getting fast food anyway.

You are not alone, OP! I have my spiel memorized but there’s always a chance it will get thrown off. “Sorry, no shakes today!” I appreciate that they have added the screen showing what they are inputting, but sometimes that is broken – :eek:

Plus our McD’s got the new-fangled two entry points so I never quite believe they will know who’s who and what’s what. They do pretty well so far.

Only if you like cold, stale fries, and dried out burgers. With no management on duty other than a 19 year old part time shift leader who has no authority to correct any mistakes, and you can’t talk to him anyway because no one’s allowed to be at the window but the person who takes your money.

The only kind of place safe to eat at 2 AM is a non-chain sit down restaurant located near a truck stop.

I don’t recall ever having this problem. I don’t think I do anything special to avoid it, though I tend to be pretty specific when stating my order.

For example, if I’m ordering whatever is #3 on their menu, I might say either, “a #3 burger” or “a #3 combo with [side and drink]”, depending on what I want. They occasionally ask for clarification on the former–“Would you like the combo or just the sandwich?”–which isn’t unreasonable, I think. I allow enough time for them to enter an item, then list the next item. No one cuts me off, and they usually get my order right. (Honestly, the biggest struggle I’ve had with drive-through orders has been convincing McDonald’s staff that I really, truly want a plain biscuit with nothing on it. They hear the order and understand the words, but it’s like asking a computer to divide by zero.)

Them: would you like to try our new ghost pepper fish roll up?
Me: no.
T: go ahead and order.
M: I want a basic cheeseburger- sandwich only - and…
T: would you like that in a meal?
M: no - sandwich only - and …
T: is that with everything?
M: yes the basic and a regular diet soda.
T: We only have Diet Pepsi, is that ok?
M: yes. And can I get…
T: we don’t have regular. We only have small medium and something you can dock your jet ski in.
M: fine, medium. And can I get…
T: (some other inane interruption, and so on…).

Do all of you have order takers who speak English? And the speakers on the drive-through don’t distort the order takers’ words into garbage? How nice for you.

At a McDonald’s yesterday:

Me: I’d like an Egg McMuffin and a large black coffee.

Them: We only have small and medium…

M: :mad: Just give me the biggest damned black coffee you’ve got, and quit playing the fucking word games.

I was the recipient of the world’s biggest stinkeye when I got to the drive thru window.

This seems like an appropriate place to stick in a Weird Al video.

Them: “Welcome to Burger Bonanza, may I take your order?”

Me: “Yes, I’d like a Bonanza Burger, no pickles please, two large fries, a sund—”

Them: “Hold on a sec.”

<three minutes later>

Them: “OK, you had a Bonanza Burger and what?”

Me: <slowly> “(sigh) A Bonanza Burger without pickles, two large fries, a—”

Them: “Did you want the meal, or just the sandwich?”

Me: “Just the sandwich, please. <pause> OK, also two—”

<Bonanza Burger appears on the screen without any special order note>

Me: “—large fries…uh, did you get the no pickles?”

<Bonanza Burger edited to show without pickles; one order of large fries appears below>

Them: “Does that complete your order?”

Me: “That was actually two large fries…”

<screen corrected to show two large fries>

Them: “OK, your total will be $8.97.”

Me: “AND a sundae? Please?”

Them: <pause> “Come to the window for your total, thank you.”

Me: <contemplates suicide>

:smiley: Lemme get three of that last one.

I guess since I have social anxiety disorder you could say I’m lazy, fundamentally. The drive through is a little more comfortable. Sometimes that’s it. Otherwise I don’t feel like dressing or grooming myself to the higher standard I have for going in a place. Sometimes going in is more physically difficult- 1 person carrying multiple drinks and bags.

As far as the drive through dread, the biggest thing that gets me is when the menu is not correct or nothing is on the menu and/or it’s different than inside. I hate needing to ask “Yeah, do you have that thing they are advertising everywhere but it’s not listed here?” “Or do you still have that thing that might have been limited time even though you had it for 3 years?” Yesterday I went to mcDonald’s at breakfast time. Apparently since the “all day breakfast” was added, they no longer show the regular breakfast menu, even though it’s completely different.

I also hate when I answer questions before they ask, and then they ask. If I hadn’t they would be sighing and asking all the questions. Example- if you want a Happy Meal you have to say: 1. Whether it’s for a boy or a girl. 2. Yogurt or apples (they advertise oranges on TV but don’t at the store) and 3. drink- So, if I say I want a hamburger happy meal for a boy with apples and a Sprite. They will ask if it’s for a boy or a girl (then key "generic gender neutral toy), what’s your drink etc. If I just say I want a hamburger Happy Meal, then it’s “Um, is this for a boy or girl? Sigh… you want yogurt or apples? uggg, whaaat’s your drink?”

If it’s a fast food meal, I don’t understand why they get upset if I don’t specify the size of the meal when there is no side item that comes in different sizes in my order.

I was charged for someone else’s food a few times, but it seems like it’s gotten better. I think I read somewhere that they are supposed to have a picture of the car with the order. I find that the 2 orders end almost simultaneously a lot. So no one knows who goes first. Or 1 of the lines ends up backed up and it gets out of order.