Drug Hysteria May Have Cost Me A Job...

The BBQ Pit
1

I applied for a new job about 10 days ago, and took the preliminary testing (skills testing) about a week ago. I was called back a few days ago for an interview and further testing.

The interview went well (I think), but I’m not so sure about the testing. It was an attitude assessment test, which is supposed to help the employer determine whether the candidate is a good risk for corporate theft or sexual harrassment.

So, being the honest person that I am (stop laughing!), I decided to take the test straightforward. It would be completely unnecessarily ironic to be forced to lie on what is basically a morality test, right?

And I’m fine until I get to the drug questions. The only drugs I use are caffeine and nicotine and (very, very occasionally) alcohol, so I have no vested interest in worrying about any hidden drug use showing up when I pee in the cup. I answer honestly.

For instance:

Uh-oh. While I, as I’ve stated, don’t toke, I find the War on Drugs to be money, time and lives wasted on something that could be much more capably handled in the same way we handle nicotine or alcohol. I answer as honestly as I can without looking like I’m advocating a bud-smoking section in the breakroom. “Uncertain”

Amazing how many Uncertains come up…funny how moral gray areas tend not to be easily mapped to a digital format. Anyone designing these tests think of that?

So I’m waiting for the call-back for the next interview and hoping that my honesty (you listening, smug human resources bitch?) doesn’t bite me in my giant (but firm and comely) behind.

Why does this become an issue, anyway?! I’m incredibly tired of turning around and running smack into a “Drugs are bad, so don’t ever touch them or be tainted by anyone who ever has” public service announcement. If the person isn’t taking the drugs on the job, and it isn’t affecting his job performance (either qualitatively as errors or quantitatively as days missed), it shouldn’t be any of your goddamn business, corporate fucks!

I imagine that if I were actually a user, I’d be even more angry and maybe even have been able to form a decent rant. As I’m merely sympathetic, this is the best you get. :smiley:

jayjay

2

While I understand your need to be honest in your assessment tests, I think you fucked up. Big time.

Always lie and pretend that you’re part of the “moral majority” when going for a job. Honesty just don’t pay…especially when you’re liberal hippy scum who thinks pot smoking is cool.

:slight_smile:

Actually, if I had to be honest in one of those tests, I’d have to answer that I “strongly agree” that the employee’s weekend is his to do as he wishes, Etc., so I’d fail too.

Sam

3

I remember taking one of those tests for a prospective employer once. It was pretty easy to figure out what the answer they were looking for was.

“Driving a little below the speed limit is generally a good idea.”

I answered yes…it probably IS a good idea, not that I actually DO it. (Actually, it’s probably not a good idea, since most people speed, but never mind.) I think I gave a few honest “wrong” answers so it wouldn’t set off any BS bells.

I really don’t see the point of those kind of tests, since I think a lot of people are going to lie on them, seeing like I did what answers they are looking for and giving those. I do my job to the best of my ability, don’t drink or use drugs on the job, don’t cheat or steal from my employer, and my attitude toward traffic laws or recreational drug use is none of their fucking business.

4

Truthfully, I have no idea what crawled into my ear and whispered to me to be honest on this assessment. My momma raised me way too well.

I honestly actually paused on several questions with obvious “correct” answers which I found repugnant, considered lying my way through them, and went ahead and gave as close to an honest answer as I could while still being marginally employable in todays pharmacophobic world.

Maybe they’ll call Monday…

jayjay

5

Yipers-this is probably an example of honesty ** not ** being
the best policy.
That said-I find the whole notion of drug testing generally abhorrent. Admittedly, I do not want someone that is higher than a moondog piloting a plane or operating heavy machinery while under the influence of any chemical that might affect his or her ability to function. However, what an employee chooses to do when not at work is nobody’s damn business.
Approximately 2 years ago, my company was inundated with phone calls by various drug-testing outfits. When I expressed my complete distain for said tests, I generally got a reaction of utter disbelief. “Don’t you care if your employees are shooting heroin after hours?” “Well, as long it doesn’t affect their work performance-quite frankly NO!” Shocked silence on the other end of the phone followed by a quiet click.

6

Or, one can be like me, and think that while the War on Drugs is pretty stupid, and pot is pretty much exaggerated, I still see it as a stupid and potentially dangerous thing to do. I don’t see weed as evil incarnate, but I don’t see it as harmless, either.
It kills brain cells. Yes, so does booze. Booze can be stupid too.

7

I took one of those tests for a job, and answered all the questions with the answers that I thought they wanted. I got the job, and a while later I was talking to the manager about the questions and she said something to the effect that she couldnt believe people were stupid enough to answer those honestly. She was not allowed to hire people who said that it was ok to smoke pot on the weekends, drive over the speed limit, etc.

She thought the test was stupid too, because anyone who was gonna rip off the company would have lied on the test.

8

Well, I never claimed to be a genius. :slight_smile:

jayjay

9

Indeed!

Newsflash, these test are not designed for you to reveal your true feelings and beliefs. They are designed as an opportunity for you to present a conforming attitude! To do otherwise is to invite peril.

(Do I sound a little cynical? My experiences in this arena were detailed in a BBQ Pit post that unfortunately went bye bye in the recent system problems.)

10

Yep. I agree with this, hypocritically. (Like I noted, I smoke and drink on occasion)

But I read it in the context of “as relating to work”. Smoking marijuana on the weekend may be a potentially dumb thing to do, but I seriously doubt that it’s going to mess up the quality of one’s work.

And I admit that sometimes my opinions on these matters are pushed to the other extreme by the “Drugs are eeeeeeeeevilllll” propaganda that’s so ubiquitous.

jayjay

11

Thank you, bdgr, for potentially saving my (firm and comely) buns. I’ve never run into this kind of fascist, right-wing, horrifying test yet (but I am trying to stay objective :D), and I would have inevitably given the wrong answers out of sheer shock when confronted with this kind of crap. Like you said, what kind of truly immoral person would answer these honestly? All they’re doing with this is actually weeding OUT honest people. Sheesh. Dumbasses.

12

I’m sorry, job hunting is a game and you need to play it right to win. There are no Karma points to be won for turning into a human truth spewing machine. You screwed up if you really want the job.

  1. Last salary - Lie, none of their fucking business. Last salary = about what you figure this job is worth. If you deserve the job then they need to pay you that.

  2. Values Tests - Lie. Unless you are a complete idiot, you already know the expected answers. They are simply looking to screen out really stupid people such as yourself (Done!) that will admit bad behavior and become a future liability to the company.

  3. Resume - Don’t Lie - It can be checked and they should be getting what is advertised if you are concerned about ethics at all. They are buying a product for 40+ hours a week; you are selling and you should deliver as promised.

Remember, it is a game and not a test to get St. Peter to let you into the Pearly Gates. Don’t do that again. They are not expecting it and it will not win you any points anywhere.

Of course, this is my own personal value system and I am open to commentary although it will not be read because I don’t care what anyone else thinks about it.

13

We simulposted, Icarus, and I didn’t see your response before. I think you’re on the money with “testing for conforming attitudes”; this is probably why this kind of shite gets under my skin so much - I couldn’t conform even if I wanted to, and armed with this knowledge, I now know not to work for a company that would test me for this.

14

Dammit! I knew I should’ve copyrighted that!

jayjay

15

It’s even worse than that. Those tests are designed to give morons in the Human Resources Dept. something to do.

I remember the first time I hired someone, 30 years ago. I asked the Personnel Dept. representative for the results of their psychological tests. She hautily refused to tell me, because I “didn’t have the proper training and background necessary to interpret them.”

I pointed out that I was the one making the hiring decision, and WTF were the tests good for if I wasn’t given the results? She stuck by her guns.

Next time, lie like a trooper, jay jay. But, you may be lucky this time. The person hiring you may never be told what your answers were.

16

Another simulpost, Shagnasty. It’s interesting to me that we posted diametrically opposing views of this kind of testing. My only comment about your value system is that yours is going to take you a lot further than mine is going to take me.

17

Hehe…you may want to check out this thread I just started. I’m trying to begin an exploration of that fact in Great Debates.

jayjay

18

Right-and FWIW, I agree-it isn’t related to work. I’d just be unsure how to answer.

Talk about stupid tests. Like at Kmart-“it is okay to steal from Kmart” as a T or F question.

Give me a break.

19

I basically passed up the chance to get a job at a record store back in 1992 because I did the same thing.

I knew, even as I answered the questions honestly, that I was totally fucking myself out of the job. I had blazed through the “knowledge of musical genres” test, no sweat at all…and then I took this morality test, and I knew what answers they wanted, but I just - couldn’t - make - myself - lie - on - a - test - about - ETHICS. For crying the fuck out loud.

Man, that job would have been sweet.

20

May I share a real life example from today?

This morning a column ran in our paper, written by me, advocating the legalization of medicinal marijuana. The reaction is about what I expected: the entire school now thinks I smoke pot.
Never mind the fact that the article had nothing to do with smoking recreationally nor did I give any indication in it on whether I did or didn’t smoke. People just jumped to the conclusion that I did.
The college age crowd will probably cheer me on. “Yeah! He smokes pot!” The grad school crowd will avert their eyes. “It’s illegal! I can’t believe he admitted it.”
I think it’s fine. Let them all believe what they want to believe.

The point is that pot seems to be one of those taboo subjects in “mature” societies. Just nodding your head in its direction makes you one of the evil ones.
Because it’s just plain impossible to support the use of something without actually using it yourself, right?