We’ve all been there: it’s been a long week, and you decide to spend some time on Friday nite hanging out with friends for some good conversation, maybe some good music, and lots of libations (or whatever). After a night of tossing 'em back, you get home and realize that you’re famished.
What do you do, hotshot? * What do you DO?!?*
Maybe it’s a certain fast food that you crave, or maybe it’s something you whipped up in your kitchen from a bunch of leftovers. Maybe you like to run out to the Waffle House for some Scattered, Smothered, and Covered. Is there something that you’ve “created,” usually create, or purchase that you normally wouldn’t consume while sober?
For me, last Friday it was a tortilla stuffed with some microwaved popcorn chicken, some ranch dressing, shredded cheese, and tabaso sauce. Not healthy, not something I would normally make, but it got the job done.
The other night I sliced an onion (was buzzed, managed the knife safely, but really probably should have left the knife alone), cooked it in Smart Balance until soft, added vegetarian “sausage” crumbles and browned it all a little. Added marinara sauce and a dollop of cream cheese, stirred the whole mess until the cream cheese incorporated, then cracked three eggs over the top. Flipped the mess a couple of times until the eggs were done, flipped it onto a plate and chowed down. It was delicious.
Would not have come up with that without the 4 vodka tonics on board.
I’m not sure I would have the same opinion of that concoction sober.
Soy toast. From the late 1970’s, when the college food pantry was largely empty, and we had the munchies. Bread, a toaster, margarine, and soy sauce. Yum!
All kinds of possibilities. I like cooking loaded. If I have cold cooked rice on hand (relatively common), I might wok up some fried rice, with peanut and sesame oils, soy and hot sauces, green onion and egg.
As much of my drinking is in the Rush Street neighborhood of Chicago, I get to grab one of the world’s greatest gyros at Five Faces on Division Street. Best post-drinking food ever.
Around here (Greater Nashville area), Krystal’s gut bombs seem to be the go-to post party food. One time I was in a van full of drunk post-concert partiers (except for the driver) who went through a Krystal dive-through and ordered 80 Krystals and a Diet Coke. there was a long pause and then the nice lady said: “that’s going to take a few minutes.”
I haven’t had this in years, because I don’t have a toaster oven anymore and I think firing up the oven while drunk seems like a bad idea, but my friend Calvin and I used to make these at least 3x per week in college…
1 frozen bagel (NOT a good fresh bagel - must be the soft frozen kind)
toast it, butter it
layer it with thinly sliced sharp cheddar (or washed curd cheese if you have it) and sprnkles of garlic powder
re-toast the whole thing in the toaster oven until the cheese is bubbly
Mine is always abig honking steak, heavily seasoned and pan fried in way too much butter. Then I take that steak and serve it over a bed of garlic rice with the melted butter poured over the top.
Yeah, I’m a heart attack waiting to happen.
Also, you can’t beat Jack in the Box’s potato wedges, stuffed jalapenos or tacos when drunk.
There’s a place in Evanston called The Lucky Platter who used to have (it was off the menu last time I was there, but I keep hoping it will come back) a concoction they called “The Girlfriend Omelet”, but I’m pretty sure the full title must be something like, “The Omelet I Made My Girlfriend That One Time She Was Stoned Out of Her Gourd”.
Eggs (natch)
Turkey breast (real roast turkey breast, not that lunchmeat crap)
Tomato Chutney*
Feta Cheese
Spinach
Croutons (yes, croutons. Big ones. In, not on, the omelet.)
Now, turkey, feta and spinach are pretty standard omelet fare. But it was the addition of the chutney - smokey, sweet, tangy and the croutons - buttery and crunchy - that really let me know this omelet had first seen creation somewhere shortly after 4:20.
And it was delicious.
*The precise identity of the chutney is something of a controversy amongst my friends. Tomato for sure. I think it had apricots, my friends insist it was mangoes. Whatever it was, it was out of this world good.
I’m in Chattanooga, too. City Cafe on Jimmy Carter has pretty decent ones, though I will admit I’ve never had an authentic one so who knows if you’ll agree.
I used to love going to Tommy’s for chili burgers after a night of partying. Now I can’t have chili anymore, so In-n-Out will do. However, the last time I hit In-n-Out late at night was after the last time I took the Princess to Disneyland. A double burger (no cheese) with grilled onions and a side of animal-style fries definitely makes up for being subjected to the Mouse all day.
When I lived in Southern California, we would go to Tom’s Number Five (I think it was in Santa Monica, but not sure) and have their limp greasy chili fries after a bout of drinking. Just the ticket to absorb all the booze in your gullet. We did that all the time.