Drunks - Post here!

There’s a rule against it right? Shouldn’t be done. Considering my sad state of affairs, I frequently come home alone feeling the urge to post. So if we’ve got to puke, why don’t we puke in the right place - this thread. Resist the temptation of trying to write something intelligent somewhere else - post here!

Remember UncleBeer’s monkey butler? That was brilliant. If there’s one thing I like it’s monkeys.

Sad state of affairs, really, my life. I am attractive and get hit on and end up alone. If only I had a monkey butler most of my needs would be satisfied. A dog would help. Or if I lived in Brasil with a guy called João, swinging in a hammock. Instead, I’m in some wannabe Friends existence where everyone is young and beautiful and cool and miserable. What kind of shite is that? I’m posting here to strangers, cuz I like all y’all better than most. What does that say about me?

Oh dear, perhaps this is too coherent to pass off as drunken babbling. Babble drunkenly, all of you!

I have discovered that attempting to clean up one’s own vomit from the bathroom floor while the room is spinning is an exercise in futility.

They don’t let me drink at my work…:frowning:

Whoa, guess you don’t actually remember the monkey butler. :slight_smile: That was most definitely Homer, not UncleBeer.

Just FYI, of course. Must have been drunk when you posted it.

Time to change jobs, then. Skoal!

– Ukulele Ike, Air Traffic Controller

Ok, at what age (I’m 29) should a beer bong not be a part of my life?

Is it better to go in to work on time still drunk, or late hungover?

You mean, seriously, it’s supposed to be milk that goes on my corn flakes?

And finally, yes, I am just hanging out at the 7-11 waiting for the time when you can sell beer again, and no,I’m not paying for this magazine…

It’s been a helluva day . . .

There’s a free wine tasting show tonight in town. . .

In 5 1/2 hours, I’m gonna be soo hammered. . .

And what’s cool is that I have tomorrow off. :cool:

Tonight, I get culture and free hooch!


Damn! I have somehow forgotten to not become drunken again!

Hello, My name is Jaimee something or other. I am 15, in garde ten, and have come here to say something really important.

Long, pregnantpause

I am an Alcoholic.



well, on weekends, anyways.

I’ve been waiting since I saw this thread earlier this morning … hoping the mods would let it lie til I could get to it …

Yes, I’ve been to work drunk. And when you sell knives, that’s risky.
Yes, my boss thought it was hilarious :smiley:
And now… for beer!

I may be drunk, but in the morning I’ll be sober and you’ll still be ugly.

A friend of mine is wants to invent a breathalyzer to hook up to your computer. More evidence it’s needed. I can’t even bring myself to read what I wrote. My neighborhood bar now has a website. It’s clearly the most appropriate place to fulfill my drunken posting urges.

No idea why I credited UncleBeer with the monkey butler post. Both names end in “-er” - that’s the best excuse I have.

i don’t drink any more, though i don’t drink any less either…

snowbanks can be quite comfortable to sleep on.

Bloody marys followed by a bottle of southern comfort=waking up on the floor and finding your bathroom looks like a crime scene.

Drudgery, that is simply hilarious. I’m quoting you on that.

That made my hungover day. :smiley:

Bacardi 151 in shooters. Lighting them on fire before wwe shot them back.

1 big bottlebetween 3 of us. Messa is too thin to count as a person, so actually 2 of use.
Good times. I’m living the high school life.

I wasn’t a bad drunk. I only drank under two conditions - when I was alone, or with somebody.

I keep a bottle of whiskey handy in case I’m frightened by a snake, which I also keep handy.

Magic8ball, don’t worry to much. I used to think the same thing about myself when I was your age. Turns out I was just a drug addict.

But, on a serious note, if it bugs you, talk to someone about it. I missed so many mondays in high school that I almost didn’t graduate even with a 3.89 GPA. My weekends were so harsh, i had to recoop on mondays, you see. And the blackouts (from mixing speed and whiskey) scared me, finally making me want help.

So, if you were for real, hope it works out.

To every one else, sorry 'bout the hijack. Some funny stuff being posted.