Tums… it has Calcum in it! Something your body needs!
um… hello… if the amount of calcium you get out of your antacid is an important part of your daily nutrition, there are some other problems you might want to see, say, a DOCTOR about.
My most hated slogan was the pets.com one (remember, the ones with the sock puppet?) where at the very end, they would say “pets.com…because pets can’t drive.”
Well, I would love to find the genius who thought this up, give him/her a big old noogie and yell “they can’t fookin’ surf the web either, moron!!”. Sheesh.
[sup]Not feeling one bit bad about that particular dotcom company going under…[/sup]
Actually, their message means that they use calcium carbonate instead of an aluminum compound, unlike much of their competition. As even Cecil is unsure of the role of aluminum in Alzheimer Disease, the folks at Tums want you to know that their ingredient is GOOD for you, rather than possibly BAD for you.
MY pet peeve is Apple’s “Think Different” campaign. Doesn’t Word for the Mac have grammar checker?
Virginia Slims-Find Your Voice
(At least they pulled this one a few months ago)
But I don’t WANT the ugly gravely voice that smokers get!!!
I’m getting really sick of the Geico gecko. I didn’t think I’d find an animal mascot more annoying than the chihuahua so soon, but there it is.
I have always been bothered by Dodge’s slogan, “In a perfect world, everything would be different.” There’s a certain ambiguity to this slogan, but either of the two most plausible interpretations is equally disturbing. Do they mean to say:
- In a perfect world, everything would be different from the way things are in our world. OR
- In a perfect world, everything would be different from everything else.
The first interpretation yields a very dire pessimism–kind of the inverse of Leibniz’s “best of all possible worlds”. Instead, we live in the worst of all possible worlds–a worse world is not even imaginable. Everything that seems worthwhile in our world is just an illusion, or somehow serves to perpetuate much greater evils. The perfect world is one where NOTHING is like the way things actually are in our world. Even Morrissey might look like Polyanna next to this disturbing vision.
The second interpretation says that a perfect world is one where everything is different from everything else. In other words, the perfect world is one of total chaos–formless mass and energy with no semblance of order, simply pure confusion. Personally, I find it hard to believe that absolute chaos is a perfect world–in fact, chaos is usually associated with evil, and a person who is immersed in chaos is completely helpless–although in the chaos that these ad people envision, it’s more likely that intelligent life is not possible anyway–which I guess really is the dream world for many ad people.
My wonderful sister reminded me of one of my favorites:
and once again, i wish i could get paid to come up with this:
“Gatorade. Is it in you?”
nope
Not for long 
Hey Canadians, remember this one? “Elvis Stojko goes for the big one and gets the jump on taste!”
Not a slogan, but a really bad commercial:
“We got our legal will making kit from ??? so we can plan what to do with the money we WON’T make from acting”. Seriously, those Canadian Legal Will kit commercials are the absolute worst on TV.
The VW Vapor-colored Beetle.
They don’t show the color. Instead, they show the reflection of sky and trees and whatnot on the car. After many viewings, I think “Vapor” is just plain grey. Verrrry exciting.
We have a local Ford dealership that puts it’s commercials on either early in the morning or really late at night. They’re advertisements for Cal Worthington Ford - God, I can remember these commercials back when I was six.
There’s a song going on in the background as they show us all the low-priced cars… “If you need to get a car, Go See Cal! Go See Cal Go See Cal Go See Gal!”
The problem is, it’s sung fast, so “Go See Cal” sounds like “Pussy Cow”.
That song gave me nightmares for a long, long time.
I’m not sure if this is just an urban legend or a true story, but either way it’s funny as hell. Does anyone remember those Perdue Chicken ads with the slogan, “It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken.” Well, somehow the ad people screwed up the Spanish translation, and in Mexico there were billboards showing Frank Perdue next to a chicken with the slogan mistranslated into Spanish as “It takes a hard man to arouse a chicken.”
Ewwww…if that’s true, I’ll bet Perdue still hasn’t lived it down in Mexico.
Nice to know I’m not the only one with this problem.
Robin
I didn’t get nightmares, but my sister and I drove our mother NUTS singing “Pussy Cal, Pussy Cal, Pussy Cal” at least twice a week!
Also wanted to toss in my $.02 here with,
“Where’s The Beef??”
"I’ve faallen and I caan’t get up!!’
There’s also a bunch of /sarcasm/lovely/end sarcasm/ local commercials in St Louis…“Becky Queen of carpet”…a rubenesque woman who’s ad agency convinced her to say idiotic things whilst simulating riding a flying carpet over the St Louis arch and wearing a tiara. The worst…“It’s raining, it’s pouring, the other carpet stores are over charging…”…ACK!
My favorite ad ever was this.
There was a Chevy Blazer hanging from the side of the Titanic, suggesting that a Blazer would be a great substitute for a lifeboat. The normal “Like A Rock” slogan was on the bottom of the page. Now, if the Blazer were “Like a Rock”, then wouldn’t it hit the bottom faster than Titanic sank? What a dumb ad…
applause
Now that, Evnglion, is the best one I’ve heard of so far.
If there was an award being handed out… I think they would get it.
Oh my Lord, I had completely forgotton about Cal Worthington! Those commercials were the absolute worst. As soon as I saw your post the whole song came back to me like a ton of bricks…
“If you need a car or truck
and you wanna save a buck
go see cal go see cal go see cal!”
ARGH! DAMN YOU! (I haven’t lived in SD for 12 years, I can’t believe he’s using the same song!)
Craftmatic III Adjustable Beds, which are now 50% LESS than Craftmatic II. Man, if I ever wanted to see The Late Late Show with Tom Snyder or an episode of Star Trek at 1 in the morning, I’d have to listen to this 60 second commercial once a break, every break. Over and over and over again. I think I had the whole thing memorized at one point.
I second the motion. I’m hoping Morris the Cat dashes through that kitchen and decides he wants a scaly snack.
Philosophocles, re the “perfect world” interpretations, you must have a busy, busy brain and not enough to apply it to. I bet you lie awake at night, staring at the ceiling while stuff buzzes around in your skull…
As far as my own hated commercials, Radio Shack’s Teri and Howie spots are thoroughly grating (there’s a Pit thread currently dedicated to them).
I also wonder what possessed that one sloppy-joe company to name their product “Manwich.” Sounds like a gay porno set in a delicatessan.
I also hate the Wall Street Journal ads that show two guys, one who reads the Journal, one who doesn’t. The one who does ends up a powerful zillionaire whose knob is regularly polished by Swedish bikini models, whereas the guy who doesn’t gets stuck cleaning outhouses with his tongue in an Azerbijani prison. Suppose I can sue them for false advertising if I subscribe and I’m not rich by 40?
But my all-time favorite – um, I mean, least favorite – horrible commercials were the ones that ran a few years ago for Spearmint Gum. It was a series (two or three) on the same theme: Some computerized machine would be exposed to the gum (e.g., by running it over a checkstand scanner), and the computer’s logical analysis would result in “yummy taste” or some dumbass crapola. Talk about making my head hurt; I seriously considered writing the company and telling them their idiotic commercials were so intelligence-insulting they had convinced me to never use the product.
The current one for Staples, I think, with the robot who falls in love with the fax machine – that’s close behind.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Cervaise *
**
“Everybody oughta check this out!”
Grrr…
There’s a local car dealership that’s running an ad with the most abysmally putrid adaptation of a hit song I’ve heard in ages: “We’re an American Band” by Grand Funk has been hideously morphed into “We Shop at Chevyland!” Ma, where’s my shotgun?