Oh man. :eek:
Run away! Run away!
I have to wonder if the movie, like the first game, will end with the heroes trapped forever in a cave with the corpse of their fallen foe, unable to proceed further, and carrying a load of weapons and spells that nobody in the party can use.
Will King Burt send his troops into battle and then stand to one side tossing healing and mana potions to those that need them?
Will there be mules? There’s gotta be mules.
Still … Leelee Sobieski. Yummy.
Jason Statham in a Uwe Boll movie…
I mean, if I ever want a movie about killing the same stuff over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again and then collect marginally better equipment after equipment after equipment after equipment after equipment and then level up on the same skill after leveling up on the same skill after leveling up on the same skill after leveling up on the same skill and then get some half asleep narrator to speak two lines of forgettable dialog,
Statham would be the ideal man for the lead role, but really… such a role should not have existed in the first place.
I am, however, looking forward to seeing his Postal movie… I mean, it’s a crappy movie by a crappy director about a crappy game that I just so happen to enjoy. I think Uwe Boll’s ability to decimate his source material and replace it with incomprehensible garbage will really shine when the source material is, by and large, incomprehensible garbage.
On topic, yeah, there’s no way this can possibly bring any good. DS I/II were… playable games, I completed them both, I have no desire to play them again. I might reinstall it just to watch the goblin robot thingy get the logo dropped on it again. But that’s about it.
Off topic, now hey who now where what, there’s a movie based on POSTAL 2 coming out? Errrr… HOW? My socks have better plot…
Oh, yeah, yeah, I see it now, things explode and people get blowed up real good… Nick Cage as the Postal Dude…
(Now, a movie of Redneck Rampage might actually be good… Get KMFDM to cut the part of the soundtrack in the mental hospital…)
Plus Dave Foley, full frontal.
You guys are saying “Postal” is based on something. What is it?
-FrL-
I don’t know.
Does Dungeon Siege has a story in the first place?
After seeing the trailer…I…guh?
I never played the game, but were there vine-swinging ninjas in it? :dubious:
It’s as generic as the demo adventure that comes with the D&D 3.5 Player’s Handbook.
Actually, I take that back - making that kind of comparison is giving Dungeon Siege’s story too much credit. See for yourself.
Uwe Boll managed to make a zombie flick with ZERO entertainment value. It wasn’t even useful for making fun of, somehow.
I never would have thought it was even remotely possible to make a zombie movie with no entertainment value at all.
Man, that trailer has the most intense “moderately budgeted** LOTR**-inspired porn” vibe I’ve ever seen for a film not containing actual porn. The presence of Burt Reynolds in gladiator armor only reinforces this impression.
I’m unfamiliar with the source material, but I can only assume that the evil psychic cowboy and Lt. Tuvok were late additions to the original storyline. I also note a conspicuous absence of any ‘dungeons’ or ‘sieges’ in the trailer, but this may just be nitpicking on my part.
The game didn’t have any sieges either and some caves but no dungeons, so that part they got right.
jamus_se’s description of DS was absolutely on target. Now be good and give Legolas his bow back, jamus_se.