The commercials keep coming for this one, and from the looks of it this might actually be the worst movie ever made. Jason Statham fights a bunch of stuff in the woods while I can only surmise that Ray Liotta is the evil Mafia Wizard who he has to stop or something. The effects look like they were done on a “Sci Fi Original Series” budget and while I generally like things of this nature, I cringe thinking about this film. What do you think?
Two words: Uwe Boll. Nothing else needs to be said.
Since I really dig Jason Stratham I at the “benefit of doubt” stage.
I don’t think it will come close to the worst movie ever made.
Yeah it could quite possibly be the best movie ever made - by Uwe Boll. Which isn’t saying much.
I’m a bit surprised they’re doing a “Dungeon Siege” tie-in movie - it’s a Diablo-style hack-and-slash RPG for the PC (and xbox?) that came out roughly the same time as Diablo II. It got decent reviews, but I don’t think it was ever wildly popular, or even as well-known as Tomb Raider or Dungeons and Dragons - two other games (PC and board) that spawned lackluster movies.
(I hasten to add, of course, that there is nothing lackluster at all about Angelina Jolie. But there’s a limit to what even she can do with a movie like Tomb Raider.) 
It’s an Uwe Boll movie? I did not know that. That really explains a lot, right there.
Now I’m wondering why a “star” like Statham would consent to be in an Uwe Boll movie. Sure, he’s not huge or anything, but I kind of see him as an up and coming actor. Not a Brad Pitt or Clooney or anything, but an actor smart enough to not want to get his name tied up with something this bad. Apparently I’m wrong. (And he was in War, which I’ll probably rent but have no delusions about.) Maybe his agent has naked pictures of him or something.
Sigh. I like Jason Statham - I want to think of him as better than, say, a Steven Seagal. It’s not to be, I guess.
Apparently Boll pays for actors to go to some semi-decent location, where they make a terrible movie with little effort, whenever it happens to fit their schedule.
Well, Statham’s recent movies have been flashy boom-fests with utterly retarded plots: Crank, Transporter and Transporter II, War, etc. After a promising start to his career, he’s settled into a depressing groove.
Because I like Statham, I’ve decided to just think of him as being like Michael Cain in choosing movies – sure, they’re crap movies, but he gets to live in a nice, big, paid-off house.
The Jason Statham - Uwe Boll dissonance caused much angst for a friend and I seeing the poster at the theater. We’ve vaguely resolved it by deciding to MSTK it once its out on video.
Personally, I’m hoping it reaches “about like that 2nd D&D movie”, but I’m betting it’ll end up at “not quite as good as that 1st D&D movie”…
Not only is Jason Statham in this, but also Ray Liotta, Burt Reynolds, and I believe John Rhys-Davies as well. You’d think all of them would know better.
I’ve never seen a Uwe Boll movie, but I’ll actually check this one out once it hits the dollar theater.
I’ll be seeing the hell out of this. I fully plan to be there on opening night, which is something I categorically refuse to do for movies that stand a chance of being any good whatsoever.
Uwe Boll is easily one of my favorite directors. Not since the days of Ed Wood has one man so elegantly redefined the art of suck. His movies are perfect for the sort of person who dreams of mocking a movie MST-style while actually at the theater, but is too well-mannered to comment during the film…with Boll, no comments are necessary; the film handles the mockery for you. Simply being in the same room as a screening of a Boll piece is enough to reduce one to gales of tearful, uproarous laughter.
With this movie, I get not only the guaranteed mirthfest that is any Boll film, but Jason Statham, Ray Liotta, and Burt Reynolds as the king? How could I possibly say no?
ETA: If you ever REALLY want to have some fun, rent a Boll flick – any of them, really, but Alone In The Dark is especially good – and listen to the director’s commentary. Boll’s failed attempts at a defense of his film, combined with his Arnoldesque accent and broken English, are every bit as enjoyable as the movie itself.
As noted by smiling bandit, these productions offer the cast a six-week vacation in some European location, most expenses paid plus a huge bonus, during which they occasionally put on funny clothes and mumble gibberish in front of the camera. Who could say no to that?
You need to see more movies.
The only reason this is interesting to me is that I worked as a tester on the original Dungeon Siege game a couple of years ago. I liked the concept that killing critters didn’t give you experience that you used to buy new skills, rather, using a skill gave you experience in that skill. Cast nature magic and your nature magic skill went up, hack with a sword and your melee skill went up, shoot arrows and your ranged skill went up.
Anyway, I’m sure this movie will be absolutely horrible, because, I mean, the game itself didn’t exactly have a plot, or characters even. What can you do with a movie about a generic character that stands in for the player?
What do you gain from making another generic fantasy movie and slapping it with the name of a game that had modest success a couple of years ago? How many tickets and or DVD sales are gained from slapping “Dungeon Siege” on the movie, really?
“I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific.” Michael Caine on Jaws 4: The revenge
I really like Jason Statham. I actually didn’t hate the video game it was based on.
And I expect it to suck. They are giving it due diligence though in advertising.
I keep hoping Jason will settle in and become this decade’s action star, but he just keeps picking bad films…
I’ll still probably see it.
I remember seeing trailers for this two years ago, if that gives you any indication of how long this turd’s been rotting in the can.
BURT REYNOLDS???
I don’t know how I’m typing this…my head exploded ten seconds ago.
Yes, he is the “King” in the title. It’s actually a decent cast:
I’m also a huge Jason Statham fan, but I’m sure this one movie won’t wreck his career. He and Dwayne Johnson should definitely be the action stars of the next decade or two.
I love Jason Statham. I love Uwe Boll. I think I’ll be there with bells on, and I’ll get the DVD.
I agree with **Roland ** - this will be so far beyond awful that we’ll come full circle to awesome again. Just you wait and see.
It wasn’t even a good game. Actually, it was an awful game, a terribly executed ripoff of “Diablo.”
No, there’s no way this comes full circle to awesome. It’s going to just be a depressing, pointless mess.