In my old house, we frequently had houseguests, so I kept the guest bath medicine cabinet well-stocked with tylenol, Q-tips, toothpaste, spare toothbrushes, mouthwash, band-aids, etc. We had the whole family over for Thanksgiving one year, and my SIL used the guest bathroom. She came up to me afterwards and said, “I’ve never in my life seen such a well-stocked medicine cabinet!” I thought this was funny as she had inadvertently admitted to snooping in the cabinet, although I had stocked it for just that purpose so I was not offended. Had it been the cabinet in the master bath, though, I would have been unhappy.
I have nothing in my medicine cabinet that is embarrassing, so, on the surface, I don’t care if you want to see how much floss I have left on the spool. But I also think I have a right to privacy in my own home. I’m torn on this one.
I know I shouldn’t look and I probably wouldn’t, but I can’t say I’ve always resisted the temptation in the past. I’m sorry! How shall I properly castigate myself?
Ha ha - is that why people do it? I always assumed they were just nosy bastards. I could never figure out what, exactly, could even be half way interesting inside of somebody’s bathroom, but I guess I have my answer. My medicine cabinet doesn’t have anything in it but dried up old mascara, some Chloraseptic and Band Aids.
I hate to disappoint, as I know my stories are usually somewhat entertaining, but I’m afraid this time it’s rather mundane. It was just a friend-with-benefits who left her bathroom in a state of disarray and I found myself unable to resist my curiosity. I found nothing out of the usual and I felt like a total heel for looking.
I guess I’m not really buying the whole “I’m just a curious person” explanation. Would you feel just as free mentioning something you’d seen in this person’s cabinet as, say, a book title on an open shelf? If not, then you kind of know you’re doing something wrong.
Oh, no. Definitely not. You made it clear how you are a very private person and normally don’t have guests over, and besides, we are good friends. I don’t think the thought ever even crossed my mind.
In other words, your secret is safe with me! …kidding!
It’s been 22.5 years since I was in a new relationship, but back when I was dating, the idea of checking out my new flame’s medicine cabinet never crossed my mind.
Now that it’s crossed my mind (thanks to this thread), my thoughts, if I were to suddenly be single again (God forbid!) would run like this: (1) if it’s still early on and things aren’t particularly serious, then it’s just none of my goddamned business; and (2) once the relationship IS serious enough that her problems (including any health issues) are starting to be my problems as well, then either (a) she’s open about the things that are important to be open about, and I can trust that what she tells me is true and sufficiently complete for my understanding, or (b) I should reconsider whether I want to be serious with this woman.
In none of those cases do I see the need to go snooping in medicine cabinets.
The “I’m just curious” excuse is lame, and doesn’t make the action any less wrong or creepy. I find the gender divide interesting, if not terribly surprising. I knew women folk were not to be trusted.
Absolutely not. It’s a quite rude invasion of someone’s privacy, IMHO.
Similarly, if someone left a bank account statement on the table or an email browser open, I wouldn’t look at those. I’m a 27 year old male.
That gets me thinking… I’m having a party and expect 25-30 people over to my place this weekend. Maybe I should tape some kind of ridiculous note in the cabinet and see if anyone mentions it to me…
Except that the situation being described is more like someone left a checkbook in a closed drawer or a web browser closed but with the cache uncleared. I think some people have a very broad definition of “idle curiosity.”
I wouldn’t even answer my exBF’s phone if he left it at the house and was calling me on it! He had to walk back to the house and then wanted to know why I didn’t pick up. That’s not my phone to answer. We lived together and I still never went through his shit. I didn’t assume the same respect, however, so anything I didn’t want him to see was stashed in my special hidey hole before he ever moved in.
In the past, I’ve had another ex get into my car, and right in front of me, proceed to open and inspect the contents of any storage compartment in the car. I’d always ask wtf he was looking for (because I could think of no good reason you’d just look in all my car compartments). The thing is, it’s a really awkward position to be put in (this was why, btw, he was a manipulative controller) because if you flip out, then you’re being defensive and what have you got to hide? :dubious:
Another incident involved a random stranger. I’d rented a house at the beach with some friends and one of them brought some Randoms home to party with us. I was okay with that until I walked out on the deck to find some guy had gone through the kitchen drawers, found my weed stash, and proceeded to sit down and smoke out himself and everyone else at the party. I discovered this breach in time to rescue my bag (while ripping him and the guy who brought him new assholes) but not before he’d burned through about half of it. I’m thinking, in a closed container, in a closed kitchen drawer, behind some stuff, was a pretty clear message: this ain’t yours to share. (I had left it upstairs in the kitchen because I was too lazy before going to the beach to take the sealed container back downstairs to my room. That’s on me. But the sheer balls of someone who would just walk into a house as a guest, find some stash and just smoke it… I couldn’t wrap my brain around that.)
Because of incidents like these, I’ve always kept potentially public space stuff (guest bathroom medicine cabinet, all drawers and cabinets in the kitchen) clear of anything potentially embarrassing or incriminating. And I’ve learned to keep my stash on my person if there are strangers afoot.
