Hmmm… I don’t know what to think. I was being my usual snoopy self, and I found a key. I also found a locked cabinet drawer next to the computer. I tried it and it fit. I open it up, and what do I find inside? About 50 CDs worth of computer porn, a small bong, a bag of weed, and a bunch of seeds in a little cup. Yeah, I knew that my dad smoked it back in the day, but that was before I was old enough to realize it. Now he is an upstanding citizen, with a full time job, working for a bank (which requires drug tests I might add), active in the community, and is the “cool dad” of the neighborhood. I don’t know how he was able to pass his relativly recent drug test, and I don’t want to know. It’s just kind wierd. I don’t know what to think…
Blackmail.
Or since his job has nothing to do with children or any real group that could be harmed by his apparent addiction to porn… Ignore it. Could only lead to trouble.
I think it’s presumptious to assume that his having some porn could make him a potential danger to children, or that he has an ‘addiction’. If it was 50 disks full of kiddie porn, yeah, but we don’t know that.
You probably should feel a little guilty for invading his personal property. Not too much but some.
Porn - Who doesn’t have 50 CDs of porn? You could easily download several hundred megabytes a day. And since you can’t possibly use or watch several hundred megabytes a day you save it for later. Do that for a few months and there you go.
Weed - So he puffs a bit and he’s got a system that lets him pass the tests. Or maybe it’s old or a gift from someone and he can’t bring himself to throw it away? Or maybe it your mothers? I don’t think it matters much.
I’d just pretend I never saw any of it.
So, your dad smokes weed and jacks off to porn. Don’t you?
JohnT - LOL, Chekmate may be female and/or not interested in Pot
m2p: I found a box of porn mags in our attic when I was about 14, so I took about 10 of them and was never quizzed.
Very educative, and no - I DON’T have a vast porn collection or smoke pot… (50 CD’s is a lot… Isn’t it?)
Chekmate - shouldn’t have been looking… Confronting your father will only damage the trust you have becuase you were snooping, he’ll NEVER forget he got found out and will probably be embarrassed he was discovered. There would be a very awkward silence.
Does he have a partner that would get annoyed if she found out too?
Yeah, it probaly seems weird to find all that.
But eveyone is entitled to a certain amout of privacy. Maybe a certain part of us we don’t share with anyone else. You completely invaded that personal part of your father’s life.
Imho, I strongly believe you should never bring this up with him. It will just hurt and embarass him.
And I know I’d never really trust a person if I ever found out that they opened a locked cabinet of mine.
Find out who he gets the weed from and if he gets a good price then hook up with his source, if you get a better price then hook him up with yours (quality may be an issue here, so use that to sway any ties). You may be able to buy in bulk and save money too.
As for the porn I download an average of 50 megs per day. I don’t actually view all ov it, just a sampling. Your dad may be like me and have OCD and just collect specific themes or names of people in porn. I pretty much snag anything with Yulia Nova or Nadine Jensen or Kathryn Marie on it, but of the thousands of pictures/movies,etc I have I have viewed maybe a hundred odd pictures.
I doubt he smokes weed while browsing porn, as pot is usually an inhibitant for sexual pergormance and would probably make his arm tired of frustrate him.
About your habbit of searching through other people’s belongings, even when they’re locked, I assume?
Just think you’ll probably develop a better respect for other’s privacy in the future…
Chekmate, as much as I’m against folks going through other people’s belongings, I do think this experience may have served as a useful lesson; if you go digging, be prepared to find something you might not want to see.
Having said that, I did find the whole story rather amusing. I know if that was me, I’d be thinking “Way to go, dad!”, and possibly sneaking some of the stash for myself.
Okay, let’s remove the illegal or morally objectionable findings from the equation, and tell the tale a different way?
Finding a cache of old girlfriends’ letters, or maybe a nude taken of a college flame? Finding a half-finished “First Novel” that shows a side you never saw of him? Finding the legal papers that tell you that you are, in fact, adopted? Finding the notes he kept during his 4 years of Therapy when you were a baby? Finding the articles and death certificates that inform you that your grandfather was a murderer but has died already in prison, and you never knew a thing about it?
Your father is entitled to his privacy in his own home, if he can juggle his familial responsibilities and has a private life that is either out of step with your set notions of him, or simply a revelation to you, he is surely entitled to do so. Locks exist for a thousand great reasons.
Having said that, yes it’s a slippery slope. Had you found illegal child porn, you’d be wearing out your fingertip dialing the police I hope. The pot issue is difficult, in some states private ownership of a small amount is a misdemeanor. I don’t wish to hijack this thread into that debate in any manner.
To me this is solely a privacy and trust issue. How old are you? How old were you the first time you found out something about your Dad that surprised you a bit? If this is that moment, then learn from it and attempt to respect his privacy more, and not confront him. The damage could reverberate for decades to come.
Cartooniverse
In short: congratulations for finding out your dad is a real person and not just “Dad.”
Yeah. As stated above, break the habit of violating other people’s privacy. You’re breaking one of the commandments that didn’t make the tablet. Its not curiosity, its a character flaw. Remember to respect others as you would like to be respected and this includes parental units. What were you thinking?
Fuggetabottit. Your Dad is a human being in addition to being a Dad. Doofus.
Oh NO!!!
I’m having flashbacks of “Sophies By The Sea”.
When my Dad died, me and my sister were going thru his things. we found some interesting books, the one above was a fully illustrated tale of two women who lived by the sea, and spent their days building sandcastles, and sticking their big toes in eachothers um… I’m sure there were other acts involved, but it was the “toe job” illustration that was seared into my brain.
You found a key. In your own house.
Then you searched for a place that fit that key.
I don’t understand. Why have you no respect for the household’s inhabitants? (Particularly since they’re your own family!)
You had no right to invade that person’s privacy.
You should have asked whose key it was, rather than searching. Gosh, I’m so glad my family members are more considerate.
Checkmate, the issue here is privacy.
The cabinet was locked because he wanted to keep these things private.
However, I do understand your concerns.
So why don’t you pack up the pot and porn, and send them to me, I will dispose of them discreetly.
I’d write out a long, well-considered post, but I’m busy trying to think of some new, foolproof way to keep my kids out of my stuff.
Jeez, you’d think a locked cabinet would be good enough…I wonder how much it costs to install a floor safe in a closet.
Okay, I for one don’t want to hound you about snooping around. Just about everyone does it, and even though it may not be the nicest thing to do, there are a lot worse things you could do. I’ve gone snooping in my dad’s things and found stuff I didn’t want to find… Homemade videos with him and my stepmom, and his stash of pot, just for examples… Yes, I told my mom about the pot, because I didn’t want to stay at his house any longer (I was over visiting) I would at least go talk to your mom about it, because some serious issues may come forth if he’s caught with it. Like when the cops bust a party, everyone that’s there gets carted off, regardless if they were smoking anything or not. The fact is, they were there. Because you now know that the pot’s there, depending on where you live and your age, you may be legally responsible. At the same time, I don’t think you should go running to the police, necissarily. You definitely need to talk to someone else that’s living in the household. If they bring up the snooping issue, apologize, say you’re truly sorry, you’ve learned your lesson, and won’t ever do it again.
First you need to call the police, and be sure to get the time that they will be arriving. Then call the local television and radio stations plus any print media you have in town (often they will give cash rewards for good tips) and give them the time the police will be arriving. Then just before the cops get there tell your mom so she can be either in tears or outraged for the television cameras. When the media arrives, you might be able to make a few bucks by telling your story to them. And don’t forget to call all the neighbors and your father’s friends and co-workers too.
In other words, leave the guy alone, he’s human.
…and liirogue I’m sure your mother is very proud of you.
lilrogue, it’s only pot and presumably legal porn.
Just realize Dad (as everyone has said, obviously) is a human being with a private life, and don’t tell anyone. It’s simply not worth damaging the trust between you and your father. This is why snooping around your own house is iffy - not because of moral implications, but because you may not like what you find!