You know…your porn, your “toys”, your secret stash of Twinkies.
Bonus points if you’ve found a hiding place that nobody will find even after you’re gone. See, I’m having surgery next week, and even though I’m perfectly healthy and there’s no reason I shouldn’t come through it just fine, there’s always that chance, you know? And there are certain…things…I don’t want found if the worst happens and my parents end up having to come clean out my house. My poor mother…
So please share! You don’t have to say what you’re hiding, just where you’re hiding it…
I… don’t? I don’t really have anything to hide. I mean, I guess there’s my birth certificate and stuff, but that’s just stored in a lockbox and not buried three miles under the Earth or anything.
This does not address your question, but why are you living your life in a manner that requires you to hide things?
That being said, I always prefer the Purloined Letter approach. The porn is on the bookshelf or the magazine rack, the booze is in the kitchen cabinet, the toys are in the nightstand where they belong.
For starters, I have two small kids. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not wanting to expose them to certain adult paraphernalia. The nightstand is not an option, as they WILL find it there.
And my parents are very conservative. Preventing them from finding certain things is more for their sake, not mine. After all, I’ll be gone and won’t know anything about it.
I have the internet. Therein lies all the free, anonymous porn one could ever need.
I don’t really have anything else. I have an old pack of cigarettes stashed in a backpack somewhere, but if I ever wanted to smoke again, I’d just go buy a fresh one.
Toys and such are in the bedside table drawer her side (coincidentally also where extra batteries are stored). Sixteen gauge pump is under the bed on my side. Weed is gonna stay a secret, at least until Pennsylvania re-legalizes.
Nice not to have nosy kids. We literally have our toys in a small plastic bin from Walmart, it slides under the bed. I mostly have softcore porn on my PC, really mostly beefcake and the like. Its in a folder cleverly titled “men”. I don’t even know what kind of stuff he has on his PC and I don’t look. I hate even looking at his PC, he has about a zillion icons on his desktop. (I like a very neat desktop and as such have only two rows, down the right and the left.)
That sounds like (classical) shame denial - ie. something you need to work out with a therapist.
I told the brother I trust that I collect freaky-odd sex pics when I’m bored - just so he’ll take possession of my PC should the time come. Sorry bro, you’re going to be disappointed…
But, if my sister pisses me off one more time, I’ll will it to her AND make sure there’s something on there to give her a heart-attach (which won’t take much).
If you have a house, you can put things in some plastic pipe fittings and seal them up. Put a string or cord on it with a magnet on the end of the cord. Drop it into your sump well. Use another sting/cord w/ another magnet to retrieve. The magnets only have to be strong enough to lift the cord.
Seriously? Just because I (half-jokingly) don’t want my parents to find my sex toys, I’m sexually repressed and need to see a therapist? Am I the only one who thinks this is crazy?
I keep empty boxes of electronics for weeks/months/years, bigger stuff can be hidden there.
In cameras and whatnot battery compartments.
Underneath piles of papers.
Under desks, cabinets, drawers, etc. anything that has a space.
Inside of folded clothes in the drawer.
I go by the critical thinking theory of hiding stuff. The average person looks for things inside of other things, e.g. inside of drawers. If it’s not meant to contain something, they usually don’t even look.
I think this came up in a sitcom; you need to identify a trustworthy friend who, in the event of your untimely death, can be trusted to remove the adult toys from your house before your family finds them.
I live an insanely mundane life, so everything is in plain view. But my understanding is that in situations like this, most people have a “porn” buddy who will agree to slip into the house in the event of a premature demise and do away with all the kinky stuff.
Ah, never mind, I misread; you were talking about the possibility of your folks having to come clean out your place in the event of your demise. :smack:
I can picture it now; you pass away; your family donates the computer to the Goodwill, drops it off at Best Buy for recycling, etc. Someone there opens it up to disassemble and finds your porn stash/adult novelties.
